Disclaimer: Koshka (The unnamed girl in my fic) belongs to BeautifullyHorrid on deviantart. Sir Zenic, however, is mine...all mine
The Amazing Antics of Sir Zenic
Treasure. Treasure can be found anywhere, from the junk pile in your closet to an exotic jungle in the far reaches of Quotar-9. Treasure is also the thing that keeps me going. For you see I am treasure hunter, but not just any treasure hunter. I am Sir Zenic, Treasure Hunter extraordinaire! And when I first heard news about the Vault on the planet Pandora you bet it became twenty-ninth on my list of treasures to go for. Of course, after I finish trudging through the ice planet of Velsivar and turning my butt cheeks into icicles I finally set out for Pandora. On my way there though, I heard that the Vault had already been opened. This greatly saddened me, but a planet such as Pandora should have loads of treasure. After all, it is known as the Inner System's junkyard for a reason…right? Anyways, on the flight to Pandora I heard another, juicer rumor. Supposedly the Dahl Corporation had once tried to find the Vault on Pandora but had failed. When they left they left behind something important to them. It was a prototype for a revolutionary types of gun. It was a Sniper rifle that could change into a Submachine gun and a Combat rifle. Something like that just warmed the cockles of my heart. What is a cockle you ask? I have no idea. But the mere thought of a gun like that got me going! So I did what any sensible man would do. Before the ship landed in the Port of opportunity, I got in an escape pod and shot it toward the surface of Pandora. Besides, checking in with customs on the planet would waste so much needed time. My bullet shaped escape pod hit the planet and sent me flying a few feet into the air as I rammed into a pole. Now this would have killed any normal man but I, Sir Zenic Treasure Hunter Extraordinaire, am a trained treasure hunter. It was easy for me to recover from something like this. I looked at my surroundings and noticed that I had found myself smack in the middle of the road by a bus stop.
"Day one of my quest for the Dahl Prototype," I said, "I have arrived on Planet Pandora and I am currently at some kind of bus stop. I will find out exactly where on the planet I am and I will get back to you," I said and shut it off. I looked around and saw a building that said in faded Neon letters, "Fyrestone Bus Stop" I remarked on how quick I had found out where I was and walked down a long and winding road. I have noticed that the road was decorated with various corpses of bandits who had been shot up. Some were missing arms, others were missing heads, and some were just small blood stains on the ground. I soon came to a small town with a few buildings, including a bar, a gun store, and what looked like a medical bay. I saw someone who looked like a doctor approach me.
"You don't look so good," He said and a deepish voice.
"It is nothing," I said as I tried to stop my now bleeding nose, "A few health vials and I'll be good as new."
The doctor reached into his pocket and took out a few vials and handed them to me, "Free of charge," he said as I took them and healed myself, "The name's Zed. I keep the medical equipment running. More or less."
"Very well!" I exclaimed to the entire town, "But if you excuse me! I must find Dahl's old base of operations!"
"Ya might want to check out the Dahl Headland," Zed said, "It is just to the west of here."
"Very well I shall be on my way!" I exclaimed and began to walk away. Zed tried to yell something but it probably wasn't important. I walked past a graveyard where the tombstones were pieces of junk before exiting town. The second I left, several men with brown snake skin jackets and pants came up to me with combat rifles.
"Hey! You're in Anaconda's territory, get out." One said.
"I don't see his name on it," I said, "I will go as I please!"
"Anaconda won't like that," Another one growled as he pointed his rifle at me, "But I guess we could let walk free if you do something for us."
"And that is?" I asked them.
"There is a woman we need you to eliminate in Fyrestone. She's also seeking passage into the Dahl headland. We'll only let one of you through," The bandit smiled, "Whoever is alive after one day will get passing rights."
I blinked, "Very well. I shall return with the woman!" I said and walked off.
"Wait! No! You're supposed to kill her!" The bandit exclaimed, but I didn't care. Besides I thought they would want a jolly good show! With that I headed to the bar of Fyrestone. Or at least that is what I think the town's name was. Why else would I have been at the Fyrestone bus stop if it wasn't the town of Fyrestone. And why was fire spelled with a y instead of an i. This question haunted me until I reached the bar. I looked around and saw an odd sight. I saw a woman with long neon green hair. That was a red flag. Second off she had a tail like a lions with Neon green fur. Another red flag. She had on a black vest with a dirty undershirt, stockings, and tatter short jeans. She also had elf ears and strange green markings on her chest and shoulder, neck, and legs. Two more red flags. Why am I saying red flags? Because any treasure hunter knows that the stranger the person, the more likely they are to be an ally. I walked up to her.
"Excuse me, miss," I said before she shot up and pointed a gun at me, I held my hands up.
"Who are you and what do you want?" She growled.
"I heard that you were looking for access to the Dahl headland," I said.
The girl stood up, still keeping the rifle pointed at me, "Let me guess, those bandits sent you to kill me?"
"How did you deduce that?" I exclaimed.
"Those bandits have been making bets on how many people I would kill before someone finally got the better of me," She laughed, "I guess they'll be sad when I cast your corpse out of Fyrestone."
"Wait!" I exclaimed, "Listen, I had no idea I was being sent to kill you!"
The girl looked at me, "With that old vest, fedora, and those brown jeans with no sight of blood at all?" She put her gun down, "Normally the men sent to kill me have at least a little blood on their shirts. Fine, I'd probably kill you in an instant anyways."
Okay, well she's in a talking mood now, I thought and began to talk, "Listen, why don't we try taking out Anaconda and his gang?"
The girl's face gave an ever so joyous grin, "Finally, someone smart. Well we're going to need a plan and I have just the idea."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Well I'm going to need you, a piece of my clothing, and a whole lot of guns," The girl smiled.
"I like your idea already," I laughed.