Title: Watching the Shadows

Summary: A mishap opens a discussion between Deeks and Kensi. Complete

Author Notes: This story is an episode tag to Fighting Shadows (6.18) . I am Australian and I do try to use American terms but some of the Aussie terms may slip through. Apologies in advance for any typos or mistakes in grammar.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters and NCIS: Los Angeles. I am only playing with Shane Brennan's toys and will put them back when I'm finished.

"Is this wise?" Deeks asked looking at the smoke filling the room and the fire alarm bellowing its call loudly above their heads.

"Probably not, but we've taken risks before and come through fine." Kensi held her breath as she entered the room, flapping her hands to try to disperse some of the smoke.

"Depends on your interpretation of fine. Fine could be a bit of an misnomer in this case." Deeks raised his eyebrows and furrowed his brow as he followed her into the room. His partner could be the poster girl for understatement.

"Are we speaking literally or metaphorically now?" Kensi grabbed a set of pot holders as she opened the oven door and thick, black smoke wafted out.

Deeks doesn't think he's ready to take on the metaphorical right now as it's not served him so well in the past. But speaking literally might not do him much good either as they were talking about Kensi's cooking skills or lack thereof by tonight's effort.

Deeks grabbed a broom from the pantry closet, dropping a dish cloth over the fire alarm as he switched it off. The ringing in his ears ceased and there was blessed silence in the room. He went to the kitchen window and opened it. He picked up a dish towel and waved it around in the air, trying to disperse the thick smoke that had permeated the kitchen.

"Kens, I don't know if my tastebuds will cope with this little adventure. It's a little more than just crispy about the edges."

Deeks looked at the lasagne dish that Kensi had just pulled from the oven. Smoke was rising from the deeply charred edges, rich red sauce bubbling furiously over the cheese sauce that had rolled into clumps of charred cheese as the lasagne sheets had drawn their edges in response to the excessive heat that they had been subjected to.

"Are you worried?" Kensi asked as she broached the subject that had been gnawing away at her since she had been made aware of the situation. She placed the lasagne dish down onto the wooden cutting board disgusted at herself for another failed attempt at cooking.

"About eating this, yes. About the investigation, Hetty is looking into it," he answered , skirting around her question and re-iterating what he had told her earlier. He had also reassured her that nothing was going to come between them; that they were good. But looking into her eyes, he saw the trouble brewing in their dark depths. Kensi was worried.

"Internal affairs is looking for something." Kensi turned around to face Deeks, tossing the pot holders down on the kitchen bench. "I know that even when you're innocent, everything can appear completely the opposite. That circumstances can be changed to fit what they want it to look like."

Deeks knew that she was referring to her investigation into her father's death. How she had become both the hunted and the hunter and not just by the killer but by those that she had placed her trust in.

"Kens, it's not going to happen like that." Deeks frowned as he realised where his partner was going with this conversation.

"I would have said the same until it happened to me." Kensi gave him a wry smile. " Deeks, I've thought this over. Look at how we backstop our undercover stories. If we can legally get away with that - what if someone has you in their sights, is determined to take you down. I don't want to be the cause of that take down."

"How could you be?"

Kensi smiled at her partner, he could be stubbornly obtuse when he wanted to be despite knowing exactly what the ramifications were.

"Hetty said it herself. She asked you is there anything else besides me that she needed to know about. You told her there was nothing. That leaves them with just us. We are breaking protocol. Hetty may have turned a blind eye to it all, even encouraged it with giving us the sat phones while I was in Afghanistan but we both know that it's on a deadline. It's either our partnership or our relationship that has to be broken."

"We've been managing both." Deeks frowned. He was getting worried where she was going with this. He loved Kensi with every bit of his being. He had felt like he had lost a vital part of his existence while she was in Afghanistan; those satellite phone calls had kept him sane. Kensi looked at life differently, sometimes seeing shadows where there weren't ones. But this approach had kept her alive on the streets, had served her well as a NCIS agent. He could see the signs that she was watching the shadows again; trying to find what would come out of the darkness to be revealed in the light of day.

"But Deeks, have we?" Kensi challenged him, tears were glistening in the corner of her eye. "Are we just biding our time before we have to make some hard choices. Sam indicated that there would be a time when we would need to make a decision as to which direction we are taking. I truly didn't think we'd be having this conversation on the same day."

"We don't need to be." Deeks took a step closer to her, his hand gently brushing away the strand of hair that had fallen across her face. "We can take it slowly, one day at a time."

"That's what's got us in this situation in the first place. We didn't think about the future; the impact on our partnership or our team." Kensi reminded him of not only the fact that their own partnership had been split but also that of Callen and Sam's. While they all worked competently together, each of the partnerships had their own groove which made them mesh together. They had a shorthand that didn't need to be interpreted with words.

"You've always been one to take each day as it comes; to throw caution to the wind," Deeks reminded her.

"Yeah and look where that's got me."

Deeks felt like he had been sucker-punched. He dropped his hand from her face to his side.

"Deeks, that came out wrong." Kensi grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to her again, her hand reaching up to turn his face to her as she opened herself up to him. "I'm happy with us but I don't want to be the reason that LAPD get to take you down. At the moment, I'm the one glaring mistake in your jacket. You said yourself that there is nothing else that LAPD can find to take you down and Hetty believes that someone is out to get you."

Kensi struggled to try to keep her emotions in check, failing miserably at the task. Her voice cracked, tears filling her eyes as she continued, "I've lost too many people in my life due to me being selfish, of wanting what I wanted and not looking at the bigger picture. I don't want to lose you too. If I can only have you as a partner then I'll settle for that. I'd prefer to have your back and know you are getting out alive each day than to be sitting at home waiting to see if you are going to walk through the front door."

"Oh Kens." Deeks pulled her into a tight embrace understanding just how hard this whole work and home relationship was going to be for them both. They had been enjoying a honeymoon period since Christmas and now reality was beginning to set in. How were they going to deal with the future? They were answers that he didn't have right now.

End

It's been a while since I've written any stories and this was put together very quickly, edited only by myself so I apologise for any spelling and grammatical errors you may find. I wanted to get it out before the next episode.