Hi
This is my first Fanfic so i hope you like it. Basically Edward has not returned and it is around 2 years since he has left. It is mainly in Bella's POV.
So, enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: It is pretty Obvious that i am not the Fabulous Stephanie Meyer!
Bella POV
'Edward!' I screamed, waking myself up. The tears, as usual, escaped my eyes and ran down my cheeks onto my pillow. After 2 years you would think I would get used to the constant nightmares, but they still scared me just like the first.
I looked at the clock on my bedside table. It was 5 am. I had two hours to prepare. If I was going to do this I had to be ready.
For two years Jacob had been there for me, trying to mend me, to put me back together. For two years I had been selfish enough to let him try. This whole time I knew he was trying because he loved me. He wanted to be with me.
But I couldn't be with him.
I couldn't lead him on anymore, it wasn't fair. I needed to get away from here, from Forks. I needed to give Jacob a chance to find someone who wasn't broken, who didn't need fixing. I wanted him to be happy with all my heart. He thought it would make him happy to be with me, but I could never love him like that.
I did try. I tried to let him love me with me loving him back. But my heart is broken, and once something is broken it doesn't work again.
I had some breakfast then had a shower. I tried to let the hot water sooth me, not that it did.
Telling Charlie I was leaving was hard, but he knew it was coming. I'm 19 years old now, so he knew it was only a matter of time. I know he hoped that once I was away from here I would be fine and that maybe I would be able to finally move on. He promised not to tell anyone, especially the Blacks, and he had kept his promise. The only problem with me leaving was that I had to tell Jacob and with one day to go till I leave I still hadn't done that.
I finished in the bathroom and looked at the clock, it was 7. I had run out of time to prepare.
I left the house; Charlie was fishing again, and got in my old truck. I took a deep breath before pulling away from the curb. It was a 15 minute drive to the beach near the Black's house where I was meeting Jake.
I pulled up behind Jake's car and got out. He was leaning up against it, waiting for me. A smile broke across his face and I wondered how I was ever going to say good-bye.
'Hey Bells' he said while walking over to hug me. I dodged his hug and he gave me a hurt look. 'What's wrong? Did I do something?' He asked, concerned.
'We need to talk. I don't think you'll want to hug me when I'm done.' I whispered, though I knew he would hear every word. 'Maybe we should walk a bit.'
Before waiting for him to answer I walked onto the beach. Even though I couldn't hear him, I knew he was behind me. I stopped at our tree and turned around. 'I think you should sit down.'
He sat down looking confused and worried.
I stood in front of him but kept my eyes on the ground. This was going to be horrible.
'I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to say it.' I paused. 'I need to get away from here Jake, so I'm leaving.'
I looked up and strait away regretted it. He looked like I'd just told him the worst news possible, but then again this news was most likely something like that for him.
'Bu-but why?' Was all he managed to say.
'I got into a college in Alaska. I'm leaving tomorrow. I need to get away from here. And I think it would be better for you I wasn't here. I want you to be happy...'
'I'm happy with you, Bella. I love you.'
'I can't make you happy, Jacob. I don't love you in the way you want me to. I think this is the best way. I have to go Jake, I'm sorry. I'll call you'
I walked away before the tears came, but allowed myself one last look. The look on his face said it all. I'd hurt him, the way I had promised myself I never would. I just hope, unlike me, he had the ability to get over something like this.
I drove away and managed to hold off the tears till I was home. I walked up to my room sobbing and just fell on my bed.
That night all I did was cry, I didn't get much sleep. When I finally could sleep it was cut short by a new nightmare.