Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, or any characters associated with the show or manga.
A/N: Just a oneshot. Read and review!
Two-Way Soul
By: VeeCat
I always knew I wasn't the definition of normal. Not in today's judgmental society.
My soul, I'm not even so sure it's there. I.
I.
I stumble, trip and cluster my own God damn words in my head; which I find odd because these emotions that I'm feeling.
These thoughts that I'm thinking, it's in that soul that I.
I guess I'm not so damn sure has a dogs' chance in hell in entering those golden gates.
I feel like if I died tomorrow, the stairway to heaven would collapse.
That no one would answer my knockin' on heavens door.
I feel like, in regards to my soul, there was a arranged sale between my father and the fallen angel.
Lucifer.
That other guy, the one on that other shoulder. Whom has the better offer, at a steep price.
My soul. I feel like its His to take, like its a two way mirror with only one exit.
Does this make sense to you? Are you truly listening, or only hearing.
So that you as well can judge, and simply reply.
Not hear.
Hear no evil.
See no evil.
But you'll damn sure speak it.
Won't you?
& then there's a girl, yes, a girl of course.
Shes almost like this very same mirror I speak. This looking glass.
But; its a looking glass into the land of milk and honey.
Her mirror, can separate.
She is the definition of innocence. A cleansed soul, a heart as pure as the fresh coat on a newborn baby lamb.
Not its tainted, father.
Not its promiscuous mother.
But that innocence of a child.
She is not perfect, no one is, but in my land of milk and honey...
She fuckin' is.
I can't even forgive myself.
I'm almost cursed, I think.
I have an above average memory.
It fucks me over, it cycles.
Cycles like that red wave, yeah, pshh...you know?
I even sound like a smart ass in my head.
I sometimes compare myself to Constantine.
In Constantine, he killed himself. He was given another chance, at a price.
He was damned, however against all odds...he made it out in the end.
But Damn, I am not him.
Can this mortal actually save me though? My other side, my demon, the devil.
Its there.
He wont leave.
That bastard devil on my other shoulder, on the outside looking in...and not a damn thing I can do.
But is it my fault? That I was born this way?
This.
Can.
Not.
Be.
My pre-written destiny.
Nope.
For real?
Here is the rundown folks, its like any racial issue or even breed legislature. Sometime before I was even a sparkle in my fathers eye, it became known that demons do in fact exist. They even walk among us.
Don't argue with me.
.yes. They do.
I am in that category, and then even a little minority within that. I'm a half breed.
I hate it. And I'm almost as ashamed of my background as a...never mind, I'm not going there.
In an assault, my father was killed.
My mother got caught in that cross-fire.
My half-brother, whom is a purebred, hates me...even though this girl that I love...
She thinks theres a good soul in him.
I just think hes a fuckin dick.
In school I had met this other girl Kikyo, kind of an ice queen.
She was heartless, but not always.
The two-way mirror shattered, and the monster...he let loose.
This bitch had it out for me ever since.
Years later, even I had dulled. Almost become solemn, mean, I showed no empathy.
I felt I deserve to be punished.
I needed and was going to reap all that I sowed.
I then met a girl, whom if she didn't smile, you would think was my first love Kikyo. Kagome.
Her kindness warmed my heart. Her purity gave me insatiable cravings, the lust was...aromatic.
I wanted her.
I needed her.
She was and is my sustenance.
The very fiber that holds me together.
My moral fiber.
My soul-mate.
I wanted to bite her.
To claim her as mine.
All the time.
Wanted? Who am I fooling, I got her. That jet black hair, it smelled of citrus.
Her lips, tasted so delightful. Like cheap bubblegum lip-gloss, cheap is good.
Because she taste good. Her skin, smelled of cocoa butter.
She had a glow.
Skin as soft and perfect as a barbie doll.
When I am with her, I feel like theres butterflies. I feel fuzzy almost.
Sure;
it may sound a tad off for someone who puts up a better front than cheap pizza delivery service, its not delivery!
Good things, they don't always last.
That rain, it always rains on my parade. I must reap...yeah, you know. I am only half of a man, I will not grow old at the rate she will.
She could not bare my children.
It could kill her.
We could not mate.
Her mind is different.
"Father,
am I damned?" I look up at the night sky, for the sun was not touching a thing.
The betrayal in my brain, gave this...
Eternal darkness.
I felt this sharp pain, a skip in the beat of my powerful demon heart.
This was a yes.
Its gonna be a long day, without you my love.
Nothing was mine, the golden sun turned away.
The heavenly trumpets are not playing.
The eerie silence.
I can not have you.
You need better.
I can't control him.
I am changing.
Click.
(metal sliding)
I have this tick...in my brain.
Click. Click. Click. SPIN. Clang, and click.
I am not Constantine.
I have a two-way soul, like some glass.
Theres something evil and dark inside. Its seeping through the cracks.
Theres an evil. I say.
I am no hero.
I am not karma, but rather suffering from it.
I have a two-way soul, with no hope for salvation, this is no feudal fairy-tale.
I have a two-way soul, I am not God.
I am InuYasha.
And theres a a bad bad man inside.
Theres a demon.
Damn it, he's gotta go.
With a soul that has a side that is a dark as night, and a lien held by the devil.
I am InuYasha.
Theres an evil.
Theres a demon inside, my Two-Way soul just changed sides.
Theres a demon inside.
He is free.
Nah.
Click, clack, clang.
Chitty Chitty...
(bang bang)
A/N: Read and Review!
-VeeCat-