Chapter 1:
It was a cold, dark and rainy day and nobody gave a shit. people were out shopping and having the sex and doing other thing s that people do. don't ask me what people do cause idk
Viridi the goddess of nature was walking down the street for whatever reason. now listen here u guys, being the goddess of nature had its perks, viridi was also known as the goddess of sweet, sweet dank. she loves her weed. 420 blaze it!
now we're gonna move to cias oint of view
cia was cooking up her sweet dank and that's about all I got about cia right now come back l8tr
it turns out viridi was walking home to her room full of link poster cause shE FOOIKEN LOVES LONK so she got home n had some Doritos cause Doritos give life to her. she starting wrapping up some joints.
then, an hour later... "yes my precious mary jane's ready!" viridi beamed. soon she realized that she wanted to share this precious dank with someone however not that loser palutena or that straight edge pit, so she called up her best friend cia. the three things that these ladies had in common were their love for war, love for link, and finally, they're both terrible people.
so viride called cia up and they started talking bout how motherfucking sexy links singular fourth ab on his left side is, "I'd cum on that ab." Said cia, then dark pit yelled from his room (viride n dark pit live together) "ID CUM ON THAT AB" he said looking at porn of Abraham Lincoln, aka our lord n saviour.
"SHUT THE FRUCK UOP DARK ARMPIT" viridi said perfectly calmly because she is the goddess of harmunee and balance and calm as well as sweet sweet dank.
dark pit cried like the edgy emo he is and then xploded so he's ded
then Lana who was reading a book about something that no one cares about because no one likes lama said "what are you guy talking about" then cia, being the hardcore furry she is said "I AM A WULF MAGICIAN NOT A GUY GOD LAANA U NEVER APPRECIATE MI"
then Lana was overwhelmed with stupidness and imploded so she's ded.
then cia came over the viridis hose and they smoked the dank because they're dank ass criminals that need to be stopped... BUT WOLL THEY? TO BEE CONTINUD
end of chapter one
Jk that was horrible even for a crack fic
cia and viridi discussed link bc he is their god. How much they wanted to do the fuck link thing, such a sexy thing link is, with his fourth ab on his left side, so sexi
When viridi and cia became high as fuck, they walked down to the 420 club. The 420 club is known for 11 things
1. It's name
2. It's purpose
3. The fact that they're are eleven things it is known for
4. Weed
5. Dank
6. SEXAHHHHHHHHH
7. the letter q
8. 4 more things
so obviously it is a popular place to smoke the weeds. But remember, it is invisible, because if it weren't well... ILLEGAL would say link the police man who fights dank ass crime. and viridi n cia (aka the owners of 420 club) would be arrested and could never fuck link just as they have dreamed.
Viridi walked into the 420 club with cia following, she looked to to weedtender (the weedy equivalent to bartender)"Do you have... The WEEDS?" Viridi was so high that she said all of those question marks out loud. What a fucking champ.
The weed tender looked shocked then asked viridi how she knew about the weeds, then cia said "BECAUSE WEED"
Suddenly, ness the kid came out of the walls because he is amaIng and can go through walls.
"U have lovely weed" ness said to viridi.
"we make the be s t weed" said viridi
"yeah but do yuou have weEED cCoFFEE?" NESS YELLED
"WHOA" exclaimed viridi
"WHOA" exclaimed cia
"WHOA" exclaimed ness
"WHOA" exclaimed the very depressed sea serpant creature who was hiding from his clingy boyfriend frodo bagins
Cia n viridi walked up to ness n whispered in his ear. Cia said "where r ur parents" and viridi said "what is weed cofe"
Ness turned to cia and said "d-e-d" then started to cri.
Then ness turned to viridi and shoved an enTRIE FUOKING WEEEEDDE COFFE EDOWN HER THROAT!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!5!1!1!1!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!
then she ded OH NO
the real end of chapter uno (I really hope that's one in Spanish)