The Ties That Bind
Author: jazzkintz
Rating: NC-17 (for later entries, possibly?)
Pairing: Lexa/Clarke
Disclaimer: I own nothing. No profits here. All characters belong to Kass Morgan, Jason Rothenberg and The CW
Summary: I was so devastated by Lexa's death as she was my favourite character so I decided to write my own version. No beta, all mistakes are mine. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!
Blood... There was so much blood. The sticky black substance was everywhere. The white skins on the bed that Clarke had come to think of as her own, were now soaked in the blood of the Commander. Clarke felt the panic rising inside of her as she put pressure to Lexa's wound. It wasn't doing much good but Clarke wasn't ready to lose her, they had only just made a breakthrough in their relationship and there was still so much more to work through. There was still so much more to say. She had wanted to have a discussion with Lexa last night but she hadn't wanted to ruin their last moments together.
The blonde knew she had to leave for Arkadia, that her people needed her but still she felt a pull to stay in Polis. To stay with Lexa. Perhaps if Titus had not been so utterly against her staying she might have chosen differently. But in the end Clarke knew she still had a responsibility to her people and also to Lexa, to help the Commander keep the peace she had pushed so hard for. Lexa had taken Clarke's advice against the wishes of all those closest to her. And now Clarke owed it to Lexa to show the grounders that their Commander had not gone soft but that she simply had a vision for a better future for them all.
Clarke could feel Lexa's skin turning cold beneath her hands, she was losing too much blood. Clarke's panic level was rising. The grounders do not have the same technologies that the Sky People are accustomed to. There are no Doctors in Polis. As a culture the grounders accept death as simply part of their journeys. They do not fear it and they do not run from it.
"Don't be afraid" Lexa whispered to Clarke. Even at a time like this the brave Commander was trying to comfort her.
"You're going to be fine. Just lie still" Clarke replied as she began to wipe the blood away to get a closer look at the wound. It looks bad. Very bad.
"She's losing too much blood. We need to do something" Clarke screams at Titus, but he isn't listening. He isn't paying any attention to Clarke or to his Commander that lay dying before him.
The teacher begins to unwrap something from a red cloth he had taken out of his jacket pocket. Inside the cloth is a number of metal tools and scalpels as well as a small box. As he begins to take the tools out of their place holders and place them on the bed Clarke who had been busy trying to stop the bleeding finally notices him.
"What the hell is that? Clarke asks with a hint of hope in her voice. Hope that Titus may have a way to save the dying Lexa.
"Titus what are you doing? Clarke asks him more urgently but he continues to ignore her.
"I will fix you! Just stay with me" Clarke pleads with Lexa, her voice breaking slightly as she tries not to cry.
Titus moves toward Lexa who is now having trouble breathing but Clarke doesn't want him anywhere near her.
"No. No, get away from her" Clarke tries to stop him from approaching the bed but the look she receives from Lexa causes her to take a step back.
"Forgive me, Heda" Titus begs through his tears.
"You will never harm Clarke again. Swear it" Lexa demands.
"I swear it" he replies dutifully.
"Then do your job. Serve the next commander as you have served me... Flamekeeper" Lexa says with finality. Much to Clarke's dismay, it seemed as if both Titus and Lexa were accepting defeat but the blonde was not willing to do that. She had lost too many people already, she was not willing to lose Lexa.
"Hey. Don't you dare give up" Clarke shakes Lexa defiantly. Knowing the only way the young Commander will survive is if she fights for her life.
"I'm not. My spirit will live on" Lexa's voice was becoming more strained as she grew weaker.
"No! I am not letting you die!" Clarke didn't want to hear any more grounder rationales for death. She knew in her heart that if Lexa died she would be gone and no spirit of the Commander could bring her back.
"There's nothing you can do now. The next Commander will protect you" Lexa promised. Hoping to help Clarke to accept the inevitable.
"I don't want the next Commander... I want you!" There were so many different ways in which Clarke had meant that sentence. She wanted Lexa to live. She wanted her to be the Commander, without Lexa her people were doomed. Most of all she just wanted her. Clarke had no idea what they were to each other but she so desperately wanted Lexa to live so that they could figure that out.
"I am ready, Heda" Titus spoke as he dipped his finger in his Commanders dark blood and traced a line down his own head.
Clarke just stared at him in amazement. Feeling completely hopeless.
"Clarke..." Lexa called to the blonde, feeling the need to comfort her. She knew that Clarke was not a believer in the grounder ways and would not easily accept what was happening. But the commander could feel her life force beginning to leave her body and she needed to prepare Clarke for what was about to happen.
"I'm here" she replied sweetly. Gently stroking Lexa's face.
"My fight is over"
"No! No, I won't accept that" tears began to pour down her face. The reality of the situation before her becoming more clear.
"You were right Clarke. Life is about more than just surviving" Lexa wanted Clarke to know that she had meant something to her. That the feisty blonde had had a profound impact on her life. There were so many things she wanted to say but didn't have the strength, as she felt herself fading fast.
Lexa moaned and squeezed Clarke's hand, and in that moment the one they call Wanheda, the supposed Commander of Death, knew that her friend, her lover, her commander needed her comfort. If these were going to be their last moments together she was going to make them count.
"In peace may you leave the shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground. May we meet again" Clarke recited the Travellers Blessing and she felt Lexa's body relax, and in her eyes she saw gratitude. This was the end. Their journey together had barely even begun and it was already over.
Leaning forward to leave a delicate kiss on the lips of yet another love lost, Clarke felt Lexa kiss her back and her tears began to flow. This was to be their last kiss. And then it was over, Lexa was no longer kissing her back and Clarke could no longer hear Lexa's laboured breathing.
Lexa Kom Trikrui, Commander of the 13 clans was dead.
The next few minutes were a blur. Clarke could see nothing through her tears and hear nothing over the sounds of her own sobs. But there was something that got her attention, a faint feeling in her hand. A beating, pulsating feeling. It was extremely faint but it was there. It was only then that she realised she was still holding on to Lexa's wrist as Titus was performing the grounder ritual.
"Stop!" Clarke screamed.
"She's alive. There's a pulse. I have a pulse" the desperation in Clarke's voice garnered her some very sympathetic looks from Titus and Murphy who was still lurking around in the corner.
"The Commander is dead, Clarke. Her spirit must now chose the next Commander" Titus explained as he used his scalpel to slice open the back of Lexa's neck. Down the same line as what seemed to be an already existing scar, covered by a tattoo of the sacred symbol.
"The sacred symbol!" Clarke heard Murphy gasp. How he knew of this symbol Clarke did not know and now wasn't the time for those sort of questions.
Titus proceeded to cut the back of Lexa's neck open and pull something out. It was small and had numerous prongs or legs, that looked almost alive. As if it were some sort of mechanical bug. Before they could get a good look at it the thing, the legs protracted inside the small device.
"What the hell is that?" Clarke exclaimed, and just as she did she noticed something else. The pulsating feeling was gone. As soon as the device had been taken out the pulse stopped.
"Put it back" Clarke yelled at Titus who was proceeding to pack the chip away in his metal box that he had unpacked earlier.
Clarke reached for the box but being a well trained warrior, Titus was much quicker than her.
"This is the spirits of our Commander. It is sacred. This is my duty. You must let me do my duty" Titus was not going to let Clarke take the box from him. In that box contained the whole basis for the grounder religion and culture. Their entire history and identity lay in that box.
"That thing, whatever it is... It was keeping her alive. Put it back Titus" Clarke screamed as she lunged toward the retreating flamekeeper.
"I will not!" Titus answered defiantly.
"She said put it back!" Murphy's tone was cold and demanding. Clarke had almost forgotten about him, but in that moment as she saw him standing there holding the handgun that had caused all this mess in the first place, she was so happy he was still here.
Titus had done as he was told. He had put the spirits of the Commander back inside Lexa and then he had watched as Clarke had straddled the dead warrior and begun compressions on her chest as Murphy intermittently gave breathe to the Commanders lungs. More than five minutes had passed and there was no change. When Clarke began to look tired, she and Murphy switched places. Titus did not know what sort of sorcery the two of them were performing but the colour had begun to return to the Commanders face.
Not long after her colour had changed, everyone in the room gasped as Lexa took her first breath on her own in more than ten minutes. Titus could not believe his own eyes. He was in total shock. So much so that at first he didn't hear Clarke yelling at him.
"Titus! The medical supplies my mother left here, bring them to me. All of it!" Clarke screamed as she focused her attention back on the wound that had begun to bleed heavily again.
The flamekeeper managed to regain his composure at the sound of Clarke's orders. He wasn't used to taking orders from anyone but Lexa. In this instance however, he complied.
As Titus fled from the room Clarke remained focused on controlling the bleeding. She knew that if she didn't get Lexa some blood in her system, she would most certainly die and Clarke doubted that even the mysterious device filled with commander spirits could save her.
It didn't take Titus long to return with a chest full of medical equipment. Clarke had not realised that her mother had left so many supplies with the grounders. Clarke was also positive that Abby had not told any of their people that she had done so.
"Murphy. The IV bags. Pass them to me" Clarke was in complete control now. A calm focus had come over her. She was so happy to see the IV bags, tubes and needles. Without hesitation Clarke ripped her sleeve off and inserted one end of the IV tube into her arm. As soon as she did so blood began to fill the tube. The blonde rushed to Lexa's side where Titus had taken over applying pressure to the wound and she inserted the opposite end into the arm of the Commander releasing the stopper on the tube once it was inserted and she watched as her blood flowed through the short tube and into the struggling Lexa.
"Here take mine too" Murphy held one arm out toward Clarke as he handed her a now empty IV bag with the tubes and needle already attached. Clarke smiled as she accepted Murphy's offer, she stuck him quickly and released a sigh of relief as she watched his blood flow and begin to fill the bag.
Now all they could do was wait and hope that Lexa would wake up.