He doesn't have the heart

by vansen58

When he tells Lisa he dreams of Hell, she thinks it's a metaphore.

When he tells Lisa he dreams of Hell, she thinks it's a metaphore and holds him close hoping he'll settle down and fall asleep again. He doesn't have the heart to tell her it's true. He doesn't have the heart to tell her there is a Hell, it's a real place, and he's been there, he's been dead, he should have stayed dead and now his brother is dead and that's where he is.

He falls asleep again, in her arms, because it has been a long time since his subconscious got unsettled by the idea of Hell and he doesn't get insomnia anymore. He doesn't know if it's a blessing or a curse.

He falls asleep in her arms and he dreams of Hell. Every night.

When he tells Lisa he dreams of Hell and it's not a metaphore, she thinks he dreams of being tortured and holds him close hoping her body can provide enough pleasure to heal the pain. He doesn't have the heart to tell her he isn't the tortured in his dreams. He doesn't have the heart to tell her he's the torturer, he's not in pain, he's in pleasure, because he's a monster and he likes to feel bones breaking and souls burning.

He falls asleep again, in her arms, because it has been a long time since his conscience has bothered with the idea of being a righteous man and he doesn't feel guilty anymore. He doesn't know if it's a blessing or a curse.

He falls asleep in her arms and he dreams of being a torturer. Every night.

When he tells Lisa he dreams of Sam, she thinks he's missing his brother and holds him close hoping she can fill the hole in his heart. He doesn't have the heart to tell her it's the same dream. He doesn't have the heart to tell her it's always the same dream, he's in Hell and he's a torturer and he's wrist deep in someone's chest and he's feeling pleasure from the pain when that someone looks up and it's Sam.

He falls asleep in her arms because it's been a long time since he felt alive and he doesn't have the energy and if his insides are dead then maybe it's okay to be unconscious for awhile. He doesn't know if it's a blessing or a curse.

He falls asleep in her arms and he dreams of Sam. Every night.