Sometimes Julian needed to turn his mind off for an evening. It was difficult at first to ask for it, to admit he was happy and blissful kneeling by someone's feet, wanting to fulfill their every wish. He craved affection and a way to let go of his worries harmlessly. Letting someone take care of him was everything he needed.

"Asra?" Julian stood under the doorframe of Asra's fortune telling room, looking out into the cozy storefront that doubled as Asra's living room.

Asra was reading a book and curled up on a plush chair with Faust wound around his shoulders. He looked up and could tell Julian was in a somewhat playful mood, blushing and smiling sheepishly while not looking Asra in the eye. "Hey, Ilya. Feeling okay?"

"A bit tired, and honestly overwhelmed." Julian didn't elaborate, and Asra didn't push. "I, uh. I was hoping I could be submissive for you."

"That sounds lovely." Asra eyed Julian up and down. He seemed worn and sleep deprived, which was no surprise. Asra planned to end the night with Julian snuggled in his arms, peacefully asleep. Julian's face lit up and Asra grinned. "It's a little late, and you look exhausted. I want to be gentle with you, alright? Keep me company, do a few small things, and let me take care of you."

Julian nodded. He enjoyed more involved sessions, and wouldn't have objected to sexual services, but he wasn't in a mood to make choices. It was about following Asra, and letting go of himself. "Yes, I'd love that. Thank you."

Asra softly patted his thigh. "C'mere." Julian padded over and sank down onto his knees into a plush rug by Asra's seat. He laid his head against Asra's thigh and closed his eyes, already content. Asra gently stroked Julian's hair, smiling as Julian relaxed under his touch. Asra still read off and on, treating Julian like a beloved pet resting against him. His hand never left Julian's head, fingers slowly running through his soft curls or palm smoothing down his wild locks with soothing motions.

"You're doing good, Ilya." Julian hummed low in his throat, almost purring at Asra's voice. He was already drifting into submission as tension drained out of him as his world became Asra's warm thigh and loving fingers. "Take deep breaths for me. Nice and slow."

Julian opened his mouth and inhaled deeply, exhaling just as slowly. He focused on Asra's warm touches and the occasional rustle of paper of a turn of a page close to his ear. Asra himself was calm and relaxed and Julian let himself melt into it. Asra occasionally gave Faust a gentle chin scratch and they would talk to each other, soft hisses and Asra's murmured reply. Julian assumed he was reading a spellbook and didn't think anything of it. His body already felt like liquid and his heart beat slowly, reassuringly. Julian was okay. Asra was right there.

"Ilya?"

"Hm?"

"Would you put the kettle on and make us some chamomile tea? While it's brewing, slice a couple of slices of pumpkin bread from the breadbox and cut them into bite size pieces."

Julian stood up and smiled at Asra. "Yes."

Asra liked to seal every request with a kiss to remind Julian that he cared for him and that he wouldn't genuinely order him around, not if he didn't want it. Asra took Julian's hand. "Kiss?"

Julian leaned down and softly brushed his lips against Asra's, still smiling. Their noses bumped together as they kissed and Julian chuffed with amusement. "Be right back."

"Thank you, Ilya."

Julian's mind was blissfully clear as he walked into the kitchen and put the tea kettle on the stove burner. Asra's bright orange kitchen salamander crawled over and lit the burner with a burst of sparks, looking at Julian expectantly. He pet its head and it laid down by the kettle, almost as cute as Faust. Julian hummed idly as he unwrapped half a loaf of pumpkin bread and cut two generous slices. His cheeks were warm as he cut them into bites, partly because it was such an intimate thing to cut someone else's food, and he knew it was going to be even more intimate to be hand fed said food.

The water in the kettle was bubbling and tapping against the metal by the time he was done preparing food. He dropped a small bundle of chamomile tea leaves into the hot water and stirred in a generous dose of honey as the sweet herbs steeped. He carried the plate of bread and steaming mug out to Asra and handed them to him. "Here, with honey."

"Thank you." Asra sipped the tea and set it on a coaster, grinning as Faust wound herself around the hot cup. He took the plate and patted his thigh again, signaling for Julian to kneel up next to him. Julian rested his chin on Asra's thigh and looked up at him with happiness and a hint of playfulness. Asra pet his cheek and chuckled. "Would you like me to feed you pumpkin bread?"

"Yes, please." Julian blushed and held his mouth open for Asra to give him a piece, obediently chewing and savoring it. Asra ate some himself, eyes closing for a moment at the sweet pumpkin enhanced with cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves. It was as moist as the moment it'd left the oven and not for the first time, Asra wondered if his local baker was some form of wizard. "God, this is good," murmured Julian.

"Very good. Let me know if you'd like some tea." Asra dutifully fed Julian more pastry bread, not missing how Julian's tongue almost always brushed against his hand and how satisfied Julian looked. Asra would've shied away from such a thing when they were first together, such a submissive and sweet display outside of a bout of sex. Now he understood that Julian wanted to be Asra's willingly, to trust him and be by him with no negative intentions. What request he used to read alarmingly as unhealthy clinginess or some form of payment he saw as a delightful way to express mutual affection and harmony together. Julian was his to cherish and take care of, and Asra knew he didn't feel forced or coerced into it. Julian's soft curls were fun to play with, and the way he gave himself so easily made warmth blossom in Asra's chest.

"Asra?"

"Yes, Ilya?"

Julian was getting tired. Asra could see the bags under his eyes finally catching up to him as he pressed his cheek to Asra's leg. "May I have some tea?"

Asra picked up the mug and took a sip, and laughed as Faust refused to move, half of her body curled around the hot tea. He handed the cup to Julian with a wink. "Faust will be good, I promise."

Julian was deep in his calmed headspace and barely even acknowledged Faust in his hands around the warm mug. He took a few sips himself, another testament to his tiredness, and smiled as Faust blepped at him. "She's adorable, really."

"Yes she is." Asra traded the empty bread plate for the Faust cup to Julian and he understood, humming again as he washed their plate, cutlery, and generally tidied the kitchen. Julian was back a minute later and knelt again. Asra grinned and patted his lap. "Up."

Julian eagerly bounded up and straddled Asra's lap with a laugh, rambunctious and playful again. Asra held Julian around his waist and Julian laid his hands on Asra's shoulders to steady himself. "Thank you for letting me be yours."

Asra grinned and pet Julian's cheek. "You've been very good, Ilya. I'm happy to have you like this." Asra leaned closer and angled his head up. "Kiss me."

Julian's mouth was soft and curious against Asra's, as if they hadn't kissed so many times before. Asra was gentle and guiding, pulling Julian closer. Lips sliding together and light sighs and sucks were all that could be heard for a few minutes. They breathed together, the steady rise and fall of their chests one as it almost felt like they became one being, silent and as intimate as impassioned lovers, with all the gentleness of a peaceful meadow.

"I love you very much, Ilya." Asra rested his forehead against Julian's, lips still warm from kisses.

"I love you too." Julian's smile was genuine and honest. It was Asra's favorite look on him.

"Can I ask what was bothering you? This helped, I think."

Julian nodded, defenses and doubts far away. "My old ways of thinking. I've changed a lot, but sometimes I can't shake how I used to view myself. I get scared I haven't changed at all, that I'm not worthy of love. That isn't true," he said hastily. "I know I'm loved and cherished by you. By Pasha. By our Apprentice. By Mazelinka. I have a loving family, but the physical negativity and hits of low esteem return. Having you just be here and make me feel okay and remind me of everything soft and good in my life means more than I can say."

"Good. I'm proud of you for telling me what you needed." Asra knew how difficult it used to be to communicate with Julian, and vice versa. He gave Julian a kiss on the cheek. "Let's go to bed, okay?"

Asra took it as a matter of personal pride that Julian was asleep in seconds of collapsing on the bed. He held Julian close and snuggled into his chest, letting Julian's deep breaths and their warm nest of blankets lull himself to sleep as well.