So you're either have your mind blown, throw up, or wish you could unseen this entire fic, or perhaps, worst of all, THINK!

(Or maybe leave a nice review...Pls?)

"(wheeze)…(gasp)"

"Haaaa…."

"Well…(Gasp) looks like I win, (Wheeze) by default…plumber,"

"You're as…beat as…me, Bowser,"

"Fair…point, draw?"

"No…can't…gotta rescue...Peach,"

"Oh…come…on, you can…barely stand,"

"No thank…to you!"

"Missed."

"Missed. (Pant)"

"Missed again."

"Shut. Up."

….

"(Heave)"

"Aaand now you…can't even stand,"

"(huff)"

"Still out…of shape? After all…these years, red? I'm shocked,"

"Hard to keep…in shape…when…you're cooped up in a castle…all the time, you should…know of all people,"

"True…"

….

"What do you even do in that castle Plumber?"

"Y'know, help with the piping, bake cakes with Peach...lessons, all that sort of stuff,"

"Lessons? On what? 'How to tell castles apart?'"

"Very funny,"

"Basic English for foreigners?"

"I don't even talk like that!"

"Jumping revision?"

"That. Was. One. Time!"

"Riiight,"

"If you must know, its…etiquette, public speaking,"

"What?"

"I know right? A big change from stomping and hammertime, huh? Peach wanted me to be able to do that at least in those royal dinner parties and delegations,"

"You think she's…?"

"Yeah, but she's not pushing, 'sides, if the day ever comes, I can just push it to my brother,"

"He would love that,"

"mm,"

…

"Did you have to go through that too? I mean, not the etiquette maybe, but…?"

"(Snort) definitely not. I dunno, Dad just kinda…taught by example, 'Intimidation' 'trap building 101' 'minion management'"

"Didn't the Goombas riot last month?"

"So maybe some didn't sitck,"

"Yup."

"Hey, I'll have you know it's pretty hard to run a kingdom by yourself,"

"Oh I know it, Peach needs three cups of coffee to get through the morning alone, I could become a barista if I wanted to! It's actually a nice change when you come to kidnap her,"

"Really,"

"Doesn't mean its not wrong though, I'll gladly pummel you from sun up to sun down,"

"Hah,"

"I'm serious! Sheesh,"

...

"…Hey,"

"What?"

"I just noticed, you have some white hair,"

"Yeah,"

"Bit early, isn't it?"

"Peach freaked out a bit, but the doctors think its...genetic,"

"OH."

"Ji's been getting it too,"

….

"So, How do you tell a koopa's age exactly? Besides puberty I mean,"

"Where did that come from?"

"Just curious, You don't have to say, Is it like asking a woman's weight?"

"No!"

"Actually, on that note, I can't tell gender either, For all I know you could be female,"

"NO!"

"I'm kidding! Sorry, too much?"

….

"…The shell, depending on how many ridges or sections there are you can tell any Koopa's age or whether they're a girl or a boy,"

"Huh, really?"

"…You're looking at my shell now, aren't you?"

"No! Maybe yeah a little shut up."

"Gosh I can't believe you fell for it!"

"What."

"You're so gullible!"

"SHADDUP!"

"The shell, man that's a good one!"

"Why I oughta-"

"-Can't wait to tell the others."

"FORGET ABOUT SUN UP AND SUN DOWN I'M GONNA PUMMEL YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!"

"Careful there, that's not proper talk for a princess, y'know,"

"…What did you call me?"

"Well, you're next in line, and a girl, so Princess, right?"

"…Yeah, I guess, s'kinda hard to imagine though,"

"So…How do you keep it all in?"

"Sorry?"

"You know…That, that,"

"Oh, um, a good binder, that's all, pretty comfortable too,"

"A binder, so then…?"

"More like curious then anything, Also never call me that again,"

"What, Princess? Why not?"

"How would you feel if I called you Junior? In front of others? (And the fact that you weigh ten of me)"

"…Good point."

…

"Its kinda amazing how much our guardians affect our lives, me with…Peach and you with Bowser Senior,"

"Yeah,"

…

"What are you doing?"

"Peach is just behind that wall over there, Hold on,"

"You're letting me through? Just like that?"

"I'm still pretty tired, or do you want to finish where we left off?"

"Nope, this is fine,"

"Good. There. You know what to do,"

"..Thanks, Bowser Junior,"

"No problem…Princess Marion,"

"Marion!" Peach ran up to her and touched her face. The young woman smiled before hugging the princess. Tight. She was just as soft as ever.

In the giant, lava-filled castle, covered in soot and sweat, in the arms of her kind and loving Guardian, her-her Mother, she felt safe.

"Hi Peach, You okay?"

"Yes,"

Through the strands of blonde hair, she saw Bowser Junior looking a bit sheepish. Face turned, arms crossed, and a vaguely uncomfortable expression on his face. He was so stiff that it seemed he was trying to hide from Peach by pretending to be a statue.

Bowser Jr wasn't usually there when they had their reunion, so he probably felt a bit lost. And-

Oh.

Marion remembered the original reason why Junior wanted Peach. He wanted her to be his mother. Maybe it was more than one kind of loss he was feeling.

"Oh dear," Peach suddenly touched her cheek, which was still bright red from effort, "you look exhausted! Was it tougher this time?"

"A little, we actually had a draw, but Bowser Junior was nice enough to let me through,"

"Oh really?"

"HEY!" Bowser Jr's face turned from uncomfortable to furious. He swerved, losing all pretence that he was a statue. His face was as red as the plumber's jacket.

"I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

Marion blinked, "You never said anything about that,"

"IT WAS HINTED!"

Ooh, a bit of firebreath there, thankfully Peach held in her laughter long enough to distangle herself from her Daughter and face the giant Koopa.

"Well, Junior, since you were so kind, would you like to come over and have cake?"

"Uh-?" The tongues of flames petered out almost instantly.

"Wouldn't the toads panic a bit? They might send in the troops. Toadsworth might finally have that heart Attack,"

"Him...good point, very well then, we shall send some by mail,"

Junior huffed, "As if I want your smushed up old cake,"

"There's the Junior we all know and love. To hate."

"Hnngh..."

So is this an AU? A theory? A hallucination dream from too much cheese?

Or something else?

You decide!