Unexpected Heights
Chapter One: A Surprising Evening
A/N: This story is not meant to be serious- just wondered what it would be like if the serious mayor was not so serious anymore and her true emotions about Emma couldn't be keep from coming out. Pretty sure there are other high!Regina fics out there but this one is mine; I couldn't resist contributing to that trope. Thinking of making this a two-shot.
"Ma, I think something's wrong," Henry's tone was urgent on the other end of the phone call.
"What? What happened?" Emma who had been reclining in her chair at the police station bolted back up upon hearing those words. "Did dragons invade?"
"No-"
"Is it Pan again?"
"Ma, no-"
"Or is it the flying monkeys? I hate those damned things!"
Losing patience for his mother's harebrained jumping from one conclusion to the next, he cut in loudly. "It's not that!"
"Then what? Are you hurt? Bleeding? Being held ransom, cause I warn ya," she raised her voice so the potential kidnapper on the other end could hear her clearly, "I've got magic and I now how to use it."
Henry sighed out. "I'm fine."
"Then why are you calling?" she blinked back in relief.
"Because Regina's not."
"What?" And Emma poofed out of her chair so quickly it was still spinning by the time David came back from his bathroom break. "Emma?" he asked the spinning chair, wondering where his daughter could have gone now.
"What happened to Regina?" Emma demanded and Henry gave a screech as he fumbled to keep his phone in his grip.
"Jesus Ma," he breathed out once his heart rate had slowed, turning on his heel to face his mother. He and Emma were standing in the dining room of the house. He ended the call, seeing his mother was there and no longer would need to contacted cellularly before giving into the demanding glare she gave him. "Well, what's going on? Whose ass do I need to kick?"
"Uh..." Henry's eyes shifted guiltily to the side. "Maybe mine?"
"Yours? Kid, what did you do?" Emma requested briskly, not sure that Henry would ever truly hurt his mother.
He coughed awkwardly at this, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the carpet. "I...may have accidentally brought weed home."
"You WHAT!" Emma's eyes bulged out. Now, she was no saint herself but she couldn't believe that Henry was experimenting with this kind of stuff. He didn't strike her as the type. And it was hard to believe this kind of stuff had just sailed under Regina's radar. Regina was good at weeding out (pun intended) this kind of suspicious and less than upstanding behavior.
"I swear I wasn't really going to do anything with it!" Henry tried to appease his mother with his hands. "Some of the kids at school are getting into it and they gave me some. And I didn't want to seem lame-"
"So you were going to give into peer pressure?" Emma glowered at him. Sometimes she wished she had the incinerating power of Regina's glower- that woman's stare could melt the face off of a marble statue. Hers was less impressive, Henry only slightly sweaty and harried looking, but she would have to settle for that so far in reprimanding him until she could find out what had happened to Regina. She was worried for her friend, but Henry had brought up the weed issue and that was also important and ugh! She couldn't multitask, one issue at a time!
"No! No I wasn't. I took it home to shut them up and I was going to flush it down the toilet-"
"I'm still disappointed in you kid, but let's hold off on that for now-we can talk about that later. Where's your mom? What happened to her-"
Henry cut in. "I'm getting to that. You see, the weed I brought home wasn't in bud form but in an edible."
Emma's lips set into a thin firm line. The dots were all connecting in her head now. "Your mother ate the edible."
"Yes," Henry nodded his head.
"How did she even end up eating it?"
When Henry opened his mouth to speak, Emma raised a hand to stop him. "Never mind that's not the important part, the important part is I have to check in with her. But I'm still disappointed in you. Very. And so is your other mother."
"I know," Henry mumbled softly, hanging his head. "And I'm sorry. I didn't intend for this to end up this way."
Emma gave a curt nod of her head. She'd discipline him later. Right now she was more concerned over Regina. A whole pot brownie on the first go was not fun. "Where is she?"
"In the living room."
Emma lead the way, shouldering into the room like she owned the space. It was quiet here, too quiet. She scanned the spacious room and saw a burrito on one of the armchairs. Emma did a double take. Upon closer inspection, she found it was just Regina wrapped up in several of her blankets all the way up to and over her head. Only her face was visible.
"Regina?" Emma cautiously asked, afraid that the woman was unconscious or something.
"...Em-ma?" Regina spoke as her countenance emerged from the blankets, a smile breaking out onto her face. "You look different."
"Probably because your eyes are closed."
"Oh. Right." Regina opened her eyes with what was much difficulty. "Wow, all this was around me? What a pretty room." She stared at the room, taking in the colors as if it was the first time she was seeing this room.
Emma glanced back at Henry who was standing behind her, guilty expression on his face. "You're mother is really stoned," she told him. "And she's going to be this way for a while."
"How do we fix it?"
"We are not fixing anything. I'm going to help her. And you, young man are staying over at Grams tonight."
"But Ma-"
"Don't but me young man! I'm upset at you and you need to not be here right now, because I don't want you to see your mother like this, and she wouldn't want you to see her like this either. Now, march upstairs and get packing."
"Fine," he sullenly made his way upstairs, looking back once or twice in desire to help and in hopes Emma might changed her mind, but when Emma's hard expression didn't melt he stopped trying.
"Hehe, butts," Regina chuckled to herself.
Emma flipped out her phone, needing to alert David of being currently unable to go back to work. "Hey, Dad?"
He picked up on the first ring. "What happened? I left for the restroom and you were gone."
"Henry was talking about your butt," Regina said, eyes narrowed in mirth. "Your squishy butt."
"It's kind of an emergency. A personal one," she added before he could freak. "But I've got it under control. Unfortunately I'll have to stay here to supervise so I'd appreciate it if you could cover for me."
"Okay." He wanted to ask what exactly was going on but knew better than to pry.
"Thanks."
"Emma's squishy butt," Regina said, cracking herself up. Emma did not see the humor in that.
Emma rolled her eyes at her friend. It was a good sign her friend wasn't catatonic right now, but that didn't mean Emma could leave her. She racked her brain for quick ways to get off a high. From her own experiences, she knew with edibles there were no ways. So Regina was stuck like this, for the next feasible six to 24 hours until the drug completely left her system.
"Hey, Regina, can you talk to me?" Emma knelt next to her friend, knowing she would need a lot of patience to deal with the high and highly irrational woman.
"Of course. I like talking to you," Regina said slowly, having difficulty speaking.
"I just want to check in with you. How are you faring?"
"I'm heavy. I feel like I could sink into the couch. And everything is moving so slow. I can even feel my hair growing." She reached out from under her blankets and felt up Emma's long blonde hair. "Already it's gotten so long."
"Regina, that's my hair," Emma patted her friend's intrusive hand and placed it back under the blankets. "I think you should go to bed. Sleeping will help you drop from your high."
"But I'm not tired. Those brownies Henry had sure are something else. Did he make them?" she asked in confusion, brow furrowed up as her glazed over eyes looked at nothing in specific over Emma's shoulder.
"No...it's a long story and you shouldn't worry about it now. Let's just get you up and out of here, okay?" Emma tried to use her softest and gentlest voice possible but Regina didn't seem to comprehend, mind somewhere else.
"Do you think Henry ever gets confused?"
"Confused about what?"
"When people tell him to go ask his mother. Because there's two of us, and he'll forever be stuck bouncing from one to the other not knowing who he's truly being told to ask," Regina fretted. "Oh my poor baby!"
"Shh, Regina it's fine," Emma soothed. "Seriously, it's not that big of a deal. Henry has figured it all out. Now, can you come upstairs with me, to the bedroom?" Emma held out her hands to help Regina up.
"You know what's weird? When you have a small bed you have less bed room but more bedroom. And when you have a bigger one, you have more bed room and less bedroom. Did you know that?" Regina made a mind blown motion with her hands and mouth and Emma heaved out a sigh. Oh boy, it looked like Regina was the philosophical kind of stoner.
"Can we think about that upstairs?"
But Regina was already off on another tangent. "Let's get one thing straight."
"What?" Emma sighed irritably.
"I'm not!" and then she burst out into a fit of giggles, covering her lips with her hand like a teenaged girl.
Emma didn't find that as amusing. Holy shit, Regina wasn't straight? No...something like that couldn't be true. It was just the weed talking. Suddenly Emma was the one who felt like she had cottonmouth.
"Uh, I'm gonna get you some water." She practically bolted into the kitchen where she found Henry standing, no doubt eavesdropping. "How's mom?" his bags were packed for an overnight stay.
"She's...uh, fine," Emma shrugged, hoping Henry hadn't heard what had just been said. "I'm just getting her some water."
"I'm really sorry for what happened," Henry looked down in shame. "I don't know how-," he paused here, unable to explain something because it confused him and so gave up, opting onto the next point he wanted to make, "and I'm disappointed in myself."
"Kid, we'll talk about this later. Not now. I have to stay with your mother and make sure she's fine."
"Are you staying overnight?"
"Yes. Someone needs to watch over her."
That made Henry feel better given his relieved smile. "Call me or text me to let me know how things are going."
"I will," Emma nodded her head, running the tap.
With that Henry left and Emma came back, a glass of water in her hand. Regina took the glass, looking it over and then up at Emma. "Is water wet?"
"No, we are not doing that!" Emma had had enough of that debate online. "Drink your water so we can go upstairs."
Regina frowned. "You've been trying to take me upstairs for the last five hours-"
"-five minutes actually," Emma corrected.
"-but you haven't bought me dinner first."
Emma stared down at Regina. "I'm not trying to sleep with you."
"Why not?" Regina pouted, actually pouted, and Emma was heavily distracted by that, the pulse in her neck racing. "Uh, you, um, want me to sleep with you?" Dirty images she had been trying to keep suppressed for so long around her friend surfaced. She'd always been attracted to Regina- she'd have to be blind not to appreciate her and even if she was, Emma was sure Regina's hotness would transcend the mortal obstruction of lack of sight and still be visible to a blind person. Emma was a bit overwhelmed. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to accept of course. But Regina was high and Emma didn't want to take advantage of her like that.
"Yea, cuddle me. I'm scared."
Like a record scratch, all of Emma's amorous thoughts toward her friend ended. Whelp, the dream had been good while it'd lasted. Of course there was no way Regina would be attracted to her like that. Regina was too out of her league. "Sure," she tried not to come off as too dejected. Thankfully, Regina wouldn't notice because Regina was currently worried over something else.
"Oh my God, they're going to know."
Emma furrowed her brow. "Whose going to know and what?"
"That something's wrong with me." Regina looked aghast like her world was ending.
"Nothing's wrong with you. You're just high. You might feel some side effects but everything will be okay. I'm here to help you."
"Everyone knows I'm high?" Regina whispered in horror. Oh no, here came the paranoid stage of being high.
"Regina, no one knows but me-"
"They're going to laugh at me. And call me names. And tell me I'm not fit to enter munchkin land."
"Munchkin land?" The fuck? Emma deadpanned.
"They always tell me I'm too tall but all I want is some munchkins. I love those little doughnuts." Regina's lower lip wobbled and her nose scrunched up. No, this was not happening, this was not- and shit, now Regina was crying, shoulders shaking and water spilling from the undrunk glass of water in her hand. And now she was the emotional high.
Please give me the patience to deal with this. Emma looked up at the ceiling imploring some higher power, held her hands on her hips and sighed out heavily through her nose.
Emma wasn't even going to argue with this. "Regina just drink your water and go to bed."
"All I ever wanted was to fit in," she continued on, her cries calming down a bit as she talked more. "But they wouldn't let me because I was a chocolate caramel filled doughnut and they were small munchkins!"
"I'm sure they didn't mean it," Emma muttered halfheartedly. "Now can you drink some water? You're going to get cottonmouth and I don't want you to."
Regina nodded her head tearfully along, sniffling into her glass. By the time she had drank half of it, she was already over her dilemma. She held out the half full glass to Emma who took it and placed it by the lamp. Regina wiped the back of her mouth, smearing her lipstick onto her skin. "And now I'm bleeding," she said tiredly.
"No, that's your lipstick," Emma quickly grabbed Regina's hand and wiped the mess away with her fingers before Regina could start onto another topic. "Now, can you get up for me?"
Regina considered that for a moment before she shook her head no slightly, careful not to make herself dizzy.
"Why not?" Emma felt very much like she was dealing with some six year old.
"I'm one with the chair. I am furniture." Regina announced this grandly. "Call me the Sofa-ucking Queen."
Emma was really running short on patience so she decided to make things a bit easier on herself. Scooping up Regina in her arms, she was intent on carrying the woman up the stairs if she had to. Or more like her poofing her into the bedroom.
But then she felt the brush of something that was definitely Regina's warm skin and nearly dropped the woman, yelping loudly. "R-Regina? Why are you not wearing pants?" She looked up and away, trying hard not to think about Regina's nearly nude state underneath these blankets. Her cheeks flushed and her hands felt sweaty.
"I took my clothes off, they were mocking me," Regina said casually, as if this would make any sense.
"Okay, okay," Emma said, more to reassure herself, trying hard not to panic. "You are going to put your clothes back on upstairs, okay?"
"But they're rude and I don't like them. I want to sleep in the nude." Regina said petulantly, fiddling with one of the fringes on the blanket.
"No, that is a very bad idea. Very bad." Emma said sternly and then poofed them up into Regina's bedroom. She placed Regina on the bed and tried to envision some clothes for the woman to wear. She held her hands out and screwed her eyes closed and when she opened them there was a smoke of magic that Emma hoped meant Regina was now dressed because the woman couldn't be trusted to dress herself.
The mayor plopped down, still wrapped in her blankets and Emma hoped those clothes were on underneath. "Okay, go to sleep now. I'll be in the room next door if you need anything."
"Noooooo," Regina whined, slapping the covers next to her. "Don't go. Stay here."
Emma deliberated with that. She had wanted to share a bed with Regina on more than one occasion and this would be entering that territory. But could she trust Regina with this? Emma knew she would be tempted to touch Regina and to ache with wanting more, but she wouldn't do anything. The mayor on the other hand wasn't in control so when she woke up more sober the next day she might regret asking Emma to stay with her. "Are you sure?" Emma asked softly and Regina nodded her head.
"Yes."
"Okay," Emma gulped and slid off her pants and the sweater she had worn over her tank top. She liked sleeping best like this. Respectfully she climbed into the covers and Regina struggled a bit free from her blanket so her hands could tug Emma closer to her.
"Why is your hair like this?" she whispered as Emma magicked off the lights so they could sleep. Slender fingers wound around blonde locks as Emma laid stiff as a board on her back, resisting the urge to turn and give in to Regina's gentle exploration. Her finger trailed over Emma's cheeks, her nose, and her lips. "Why are you so soft?" she murmured in rapt wonder.
That made a lump stand in Emma's throat and she swallowed harshly. "Go to bed Regina."
And then she turned her back to the woman but that didn't discourage Regina. She snuggled in closer, hands wrapping around Emma's waist, face buried into the back of her neck. She sighed contently and within moments she was out. But Emma wasn't, the touch and press of Regina so intimately against her keeping her up for hours as she longed for what she couldn't have.