Sundry's Best (The fan fiction series I've got going on LiveJournal)
Entry Sixteen, Never
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters: Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl II, Walter Joseph Kovacs/Rorschach
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Slash?
Snippet: Dan never expects to see Rorschach again. But then, that isn't anything new. What is new, however, is that Dan doesn't want to see Rorschach again.
Author's Notes: Please allow me take a moment to apologize right now. I have a feeling a lot of you are going to hate this fic. There are more notes at the end because I have something to say about the theme which I don't wish to give away now. I wrote this in one go on very little sleep and a migraine. I'm surprised and very pleased with the outcome. Criticism is encouraged.
Dan never expects to see Rorschach again. But then, that isn't anything new.
What is new, however, is that Dan doesn't want to see Rorschach again.
*
After the Keene Act passed, after all was said and done, after the cape was hung and the owlship taken off standby, and after Rorschach fought Dan tooth and nail to keep him from quitting…
After all that, the last thing Dan expected was to wake up five months later to heavy breathing and white and black latex. Dan never expected to see Rorschach again.
And it damn near broke his heart.
"Rorschach?"
But he was there, kneeling beside Dan's bed, gloved fingers pressed atop the crisp line of the sheet fitted to his mattress.
Dan knew he would find bloody prints there in the morning but he couldn't bring himself to care.
Rorschach was there. And he whispered Dan's name and reached out to grasp his shoulder.
"Help m-m--"
The hair on the back of Dan's neck stood on end and in one swooping movement he switched on the light, grabbed his glasses from the nightstand, and was on his knees with his former partner, squeezing his shoulder just as tightly.
"Jesus Christ, man!" Dan breathed. "How many bullets are--"
"Three."
*
The hour that followed was a blur. Getting Rorschach to the bathroom, then undressed and into the bathtub; counting six entrance and two exit wounds, removing four bullets, and stitching what he could of mangled flesh on his dying friend's torso; rousing Rorschach into consciousness and verbally sparring with him, trying to convince him to let Dan take off his mask and fly him-- yes, he would take Archie out for this-- to the nearest hospital. Dan lost track of the time, his nerves, and his ability to think clearly.
But Rorschach was the one in shock. And Dan didn't have the provisions necessary to recover him from such intense blood loss. Not anymore.
"Too bad."
*
Dan never expected to feel like a hero again. And he certainly didn't feel like one when he struck Rorschach's head against the tiled bathroom wall. Dan felt like a traitor when he lifted Rorschach from the water and wrapped him up in a blanket. A traitor when he took Rorschach's clothes and mask and hid them lest anyone (who?) should come in and see them.
Dan felt his stomach turn when he saw the eyelids flutter, short blond eyelashes twitching but never curling away to give into consciousness.
Rorschach was never going to forgive him. But then, he wouldn't have forgiven him no matter what choice Dan made. Kind of hard if he's dead, right?
*
In the end, Dan called a cab. A cab would be easier to explain than two unmasked men landing on the hospital helipad in a masked man's airship.
If he had shown up in Archie, it might have been easier to explain why Dan walked into the emergency room with an unconscious, naked man. A man who had already been stitched but was not quite stable. A man who was in need of more of the vital red fluid that dripped off of Dan's pajamas, that dried in his hair.
*
Dan argued with the receptionist for two hours. But seeing as it was four in the morning, verging on six, and since Dan wasn't a doctor, nurse, or any other sort of orderly, she couldn't tell him anything or let him back to see the 'best friend' whose name he didn't know.
Dan quickly regretted not pulling the Nite Owl card.
*
When Rorschach finally woke, he raged. Dan threw his hands up defensively when the lunch tray was hurled across the room at him.
He felt bad for laughing after Rorschach pulled a few stitches.
Dan was called a number of names, insulted, degraded, and finally given the cold shoulder until the doctor said that 'Walter' was ready to be taken home.
*
And how would the scurvy little transient's bills be paid for? Without thanks and gratitude. With venom and a disappearance before Rorschach was well enough to leave.
*
Amongst terrorized dreams of stumbling upon Rorschach's body, torn limb from limb; amid the assault investigations on "Mister D. Dreiberg's" name (easily averted with the help of a certain unmasked celebrity); within the familiar loneliness that returned with a vengeance. Dan never expected to see Rorschach again.
*
Rorschach returns two weeks later. Dan hugs him so hard that he almost breaks him.
"You're a son of a bitch."
Dan tells Rorschach that if he was still a mask, he would kick his ass.
Rorschach apologizes and says that he would let him.
And then Rorschach takes off the mask and kisses him.
*
Dan breaks Rorschach's nose.
It is accidental instinct. The reflexive lashing out, like when a dog bares its teeth and get too close to one's face.
Dan feels attacked although the redhead's mouth is gentle and warm.
*
Who the fuck goes around kissing other men?
"What the fuck, Walter!"
"Told you never to call me that."
"You just kissed me! Rorschach would never do something like that. What the hell were you thinking?"
*
Walter is thinking everything, apparently. Too much and too seedy to reveal to Dan. Too much to speak about it.
*
Dan slides down the wall, staring across to where his former friend pushes himself to sit up, wiping blood from his face. Dan wipes his mouth simultaneously and refuses to acknowledge the taste of his fellow man.
Walter doesn't look at Dan as he pinches his nose and groans in pain.
"Is it broken? Shit, I'm sorry." Dan considers crawling over to him, helping him and making this okay.
But the sickening guilt manifests an ache in Dan's gut and he moves to the bathroom to double over the toilet. He retches but nothing comes up. He washes his mouth regardless.
*
Walter's face is in his hands, the butts of his palms pressing firmly into his eyes. Dan kneels and offers him a stream of toilet paper for the bleeding. Walter doesn't take it.
*
They both apologize. Tell each other that they didn't know (that they are wrong).
Both have the same and the opposite things to say. Not a homo/faggot/sexual. Spoken almost simultaneously.
The liar is more politically correct. Ironically.
And Dan has a dirty, liberal mouth-- And stinging implications.
*
Dan never knew.
Rorschach isn't there. He isn't sitting with him on the floor, tugging at short, coarse rivets of orange hair.
Dan has never known Walter at all.
*
Walter holds still for Dan. He lets Dan clean up his face with the toilet paper he wouldn't take. He lets Dan look at his nose and press the bones into something resembling the shape of the nose he had before.
*
But Dan doesn't really know what that looks like on the ugly, scarred, unfamiliar face. Much less with bruising and swelling caused by his own fist.
*
Walter knows it well.
*
When Walter kisses Dan again, he was promptly thrown out.
*
Walter caught Dan's fist. He smashed his own fist into the bridge of Dan's fat nose.
"You broke my glasses!" Dan bellowed through the pain and the blood.
Walter wanted to hit Dan again. Break it twice.
But he didn't.
*
Walter picks himself up from the stairs outside of Dan's brownstone.
Rorschach pulls his face back on and staggers off to purge the city.
I'm never going see him again.
"Never."
Additional Notes:
Amongst all the slash I've been writing and posting for Dan and Ror as of late, I have been likewise plagued with the notion of homophobic Dan. It made writing him very difficult for a while but now that I'm over it, it's still an idea that I'm fascinated by. This is my first drabble into it and I have a feeling it will not be the last. I don't agree with it at all but I would nevertheless like to explore the dynamic of it and hopefully exhaust the idea before too long. No worries for regular readers though. There will be plenty of the exact opposite happening. No offense whatsoever was meant in the writing of this. I hope you all liked it despite the obvious. If one good thing came of this, it's that I can tell for certain now that Mister D. Dreiberg is not homophobic. And the next time somebody tells you it wouldn't work between he and Ror, tell them to try writing Dan this way. And then we'll see what happens. Haha!