Prologue: Letters to the Dead

… Dear Mother,
I could never hope to understand what happened that night. I fear - I fear. I am afraid for him and I cannot imagine why I should be.
Mother, help us. I will not force myself from him. Not this time, not now that he is mine.
Please … Kinomoto Nadeshiko; help me.

The quill fell to the floor. The sound of it's decent heard throughout the silent room.
Sakura lay unconscious across the desk-top. Blood spilling from her brow; a blade, through her wrist.

Chapter 1: The End of Sanity

"Yuuki!" The whispered shriek shattered the relative calm of the morning. Sakura was awake. And, apparently, not entirely pleased that the sun shone for her birthday.

"YUKI!" That one was a bit louder.
Following the echo of her own voice, Sakura broke through the doors of her brother's chambers.
"The sun is shinning Yuki-"
"Yes, yes. The sun is up, it's awake. That does not mean that you have to be a loud little Kaiju, stomping around in here waking me up too." Touya glared pointedly at his little sister. A slight smirk pulling at the corners of his lips.

He knew Sakura hated it when he called her 'Kaiju' - he had fresh bruises to prove it - and that was, admittedly more than half the reason why he clung to the insult.
Her reactions were always entertaining … she did not disappoint.

"I AM NOT A KAIJU, TOUYA! You are not allowed to call me that anymore … YOU PROMISED!!"

The young man in question was saved the hassle of a reply in favour of saving Yuki from a surprise Sakura-torpedo. For at that moment, right after her mini-tantrum, Sakura propelled herself at Yukito. Shrieking.

"-STOP PLAYING WITH THE WEATHER!!"
She landed with a hefty "humph" across Touya's broad back. The latter having rolled quickly to hover above Yuki, shielding his lover from his little - Kaiju.
The pressure of her fall pushed the two men closer than was acceptable, what with Sakura actually in the room. Touya couldn't take it, not this early in the morning … "-OUT kaiju!! AND STOP ATTACKING HIM!!"

The villagers closest to the large state house slowed in their morning works.
The sun was shinning, in the middle of winter and murderous shrieks could be heard from the Kinomoto home. "It must be Sakura's birthday." Old Lady-Makena shuffled past, smiling at the noise heard inside. "Wonderful."
The people of Tomoeda were well aware of the Shifters that took up residency in their tiny town. Others would have preferred that knowledge of them be kept silent, but secrets do not exist in such small places. And the household as a whole accepted this fact.

Besides; far from being afraid - as most townsfolk were - the people of Tomoeda were elated by their presence.
Especially on weeks like this, when Sakura-sama turned a year older, and the weather was finer than any natural Summers Day.
Yukito always did like to spoil his un-official sister in-law. He couldn't help himself, such was his nature. And he never was one for hiding things.

So the sun shone; the birds cooed in their lofty nests, surprised by -if not a little used to- the intense sun, and the people of Tomoeda were content in their moment of unnatural warmth. It was almost normal for them now. The two Kinomoto children had come when the oldest, Touya, was barely able to hold his baby sister; they brought with them the girl with the violet eyes and, soon after, the boy who brought the sun.

And every year after his coming, in moments of joy, the sun would shine. Such was Yuki's way, and it was a wondrous thing to behold.

To an outsider, however, the sight of a shinning village surrounded by melting, fresh snow would be frightening to say the least. And so it was that on this strange day, an even stranger young man entered through the gates of Tomoeda.
An unnatural mid-summer sun shinning through the haze and fog of a winter morning.
Syaoran wondered slowly through the half-melted snow. Remnants of the thick blanket that lay there no less than a week before. Trying, desperately, to make sense of The Fear that had brought him to this place.

"Have you seen it yet? The pull, I mean."

Eriol. Reverently walking at Syaoran's side. Quiet and relatively obedient as he had always been, Eriol now seemed anxious to start the search for the source of his masters' pull. His reasons where a mystery to them both. But it seemed that Eriol's own Fear, his own instincts were driving him to search out something in this squat little village. Something - for himself.
"No." As always, Syaoran was curt and completely secretive. He didn't need to say anything really. Such was their … situation. The relationship between a Shifter and their Shadow was not just a bond of protection.

Eriol already knew where they were headed, could feel where his master was leading him,
What confused him, however was that he himself, was also being drawn to this strange house. Strange because of it's size in such a small village. And also because of the constant laughing, pleading and … was that screaming?

"Touya you really mustn't do that to Tomoyo."
Yuki chided the slightly miffed older man. "You know how it hurts me when you are harmed. The same applies to Saku-"
"We are lovers, Yuki. Our bond is far deeper than theirs." Touya's previously pouting lips slowly turned to a sullen guilt at the look of distain flaring in his lovers eyes, Touya moved to comfort his Yuki. To apologise, but his guilt quickly turned to annoyance when Yukito moved away.

Having only been rejected by the younger man one other -rather painful- time, Touya did not exactly know how to right his apparent wrong. An apology would never suffice now. That would be too simple and Yuki was -at his simplest- an emotional device of awesome complexity. No. Touya would have to realise what he'd said and done wrong. Then he could hold his Yuki again.

Right now, however, he was far too annoyed by the rejection.

"What?" It was truly meant to be a question. But the Kinomoto clan were not known for their anger-management.

"You know what! Touya."

Never had the sight of the younger man leaving spurred such a strong need in Touya to retrieve him. And as he moved to fulfil the sudden need, Touya felt himself being pushed bodily from Yuki's retreating form. A time long-passed, flared unbidden before his minds-eye …

******************************

'No! … you're not allowed to hurt him Touya.'

The young Lord stopped, furious at the lack of control he had over his own limbs. He almost didn't recognise it; but glancing at his raised, clenched fist - watching it shake as his knuckles longed to burry themselves into the unnamed face before him. Touya realised that he had been right in his previous guess.

He'd seen this kind of connection in Sakura and her little violet-eyed friend. Had hoped for the same with his own, new friend.
But theirs was a bond of emotion. Tomoyo would respond instantly to the mere hint of Sakura's thoughts. It seemed now, that Touya was bound in the same way to Yuki. But; taken as the young master was with his new 'charge', Touya was also very stubborn. And unwilling to let the snivelling lump of flesh leave unharmed when such harm had been done to his Yuki.

In a sudden attempt to utterly disobey what felt like a command, Touya pulled his fist back higher. It flew back down a moment later, toward a hideously snot-ridden face. A war cry escaping his mouth as his fist fell … it never did connect. Touya never got a chance to wallop the pig for hitting his Yuki.

He was too busy flying …

Just as Touya's fist was about to make contact, something - a thing that could only be described as pain. Emotional? Physical? It was not clear, but pain it was. And it was this thing that hurled Touya from not one, but two crying young boys.

Glancing up, Touya knew why Yuki cried. Could feel it.

'I am his shadow … what he does I will do. Where he goes I must follow; and if he cannot hurt someone - nor shall I.
'I will not be the source of his pain … not again!'

The oath was gone from his mind in a moment; the words but a breath away. But before they had reached Touya's lips, Yuki was gone …

******************************

The pushing had stopped. Touya sat in a heap as they both remembered the pain of Yuki's departure …

'Makena is going to have my head for sure, this time.' Sakura's thoughts were in a mess of pain and desperation as she wondered the house, looking for her Shadow.
Her wondering feet pulled up short as she rounded one corner, and heard a soft, deep voice beyond the next.

"-no need to apologise, things should not have gotten out of hand as they did. And Touya should not have gone after Sakura in that way."

Yuki

"And she should not have said such things. They are both very temperamental people, such things are in their nature. They cannot help it or change anymore than we can."

Tomoyo …

With a sob Sakura rounded the final corner, unable to bare the distance between her and her most favoured of companions.
She fell to a world of violet seas as her gaze met with her raven-haired friend. No words were needed, no whispered plea's for forgiveness. All was spoken, all was said in the linking of their eyes.

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"Do you think you'll find it here?"

Eriol was being far more involved than usual and while Syaoran was vastly curious as to the reasons why; he was far more engrossed with his own answer to the question. And the reasons they were both needed in the first place. So he stood; silent and somewhat anxious, outside the Kinomoto household. Waiting for his strangely absent courage to return so he could knock on the damn door. Because, whatever Fear had him racing to this dingy little village, also had him terrifyingly afraid to find it.

"I hope so," 'do I?' he thought, "I just wanna get out of here. Fast." Eriol could feel Syaoran's anxiety well enough. Could taste it almost, the wind carrying it lazily toward his parted lips. Curious but silent as was usual, Eriol glanced toward his Solid.
The wind seemed to pluck at his clothes as Eriol gazed at Syaoran's wary unfocused eyes, he had not seen that part of him since The Right was taken. When Syaoran took his father's life. Since that ungodly night, Syaoran was the rock adorned with silk, cold and unyielding and not quite gentle to the touch, he had been confident in everything he attempted. Never had Eriol seen him so - nervous.

But he was changed now. Syaoran could feel it in his shaking hands, he was nervous and he hated it. But for the life of him he had not one reason why he should be and how not knowing things frustrated him so, but he could do nothing about it. He was in a strange place for some unknown bloody reason. And even if he tried to escape the Fear that had sent him here, he knew he would be back within the week.

That just how it was. His instincts kicked in and couldn't help but obey; the Fear was one of his few urges that he had no choice but to oblige. A fact that vexed his greatly.

They stood there, in the cold for quite some time. And as the minutes trailed by Eriol began to feel a flicker of heat. He shuffled helplessly from one foot to the next and after a few surprisingly lecherous moments where his mind wondered upon a flash of violet and black silk, Eriol could not help but reach for the door. His hand stretched out and knocked three times in loud succession. There was something in the sound that forced Syaoran out of his musings, 'He didn't -?' Syaoran couldn't believe it, Eriol had never seemed so - solid as he appeared now. His dark-haired friend always came and went with the breeze. Never committing to anything but Syaoran's will. He could not help but be somewhat -permanently- unsettled. Now, however, Eriol seemed far more solidified than Syaoran had ever seen him.

It seemed to amuse him a little, and in a moment of confusion he laughed, "You really wanna have a look in that house huh? You've never been this eager to get at something that had almost nothing to do with you." Regardless of the thoughts parading through Eriol's head; the door had been knocked on and footsteps could be heard from the deep hall, leading to the door before which they now stood.

A/N: Okay, I know that this isn't really any kinda place to be ending a chapter but I'm a little stuck ... which is really bad 'cause this is only the first chapter. But anyway, yeah just a little random AU that I've been thinking about for a while. And my first CCS fic *hides behind notebook* so please be gentle, and please review.