Disclaimer: Harry Potter. "All Hands On Deck"--Waking Ashland.

Author's Note: I'm still bummed I didn't get what I wanted. Try reading with the song playing, maybe it'll make it better. I don't know.

ENDINGS

and what comes next is up to you
and i need a miracle to save me from this

One

You tell yourself that it's not the end of the world.

The water's gone cold long ago, but you're still in the tub, hands gripping fiercely at the sides. Your fingers are beginning to ache; you can't be bothered to care.

It's not the end of the world.

You're not sure what would be more appropriate in your situation, crying or laughing. Across the bathroom, Ron's shadow passes along the crack beneath the door. It isn't till his footsteps have faded that you realize you're crying.

Two

You can't control your hands, and they shake violently as Harry takes the seat across from you. He takes his time unwinding his scarf, and when he meets your eyes you can't help blurting the first thing to come to mind.

"Run away with me."

Three

His fingertips trace the curve of your jaw, trail up, and still at the corner of your mouth. His eyes are darker than you remember, and you can't help the ache in your chest when his mouth falls gently on yours.

He's cupping your face; your tears are wetting his palms. He's kissing you now, your nose, eyes, mouth, cheeks. The purple smears under your eyes, the insides of your wrists, each fingertip and knuckle.

You can't stop the tears. He doesn't seem to mind.

Four

"I think," Harry says, tracing the stitching of your coat, "that I could have loved you more than Ginny. If...If, maybe, we had." He sighs.

Your lips press softly against the curve of his neck, the wool of his shearling jacket is soft against your cheek, catching your tears. You heart gives one painful thud after another; the hollow feeling in your chest grows.

Five

The invitation arrives three months after you tell him you love him, that you're sorry you couldn't have timed this better.

You let Ron check off the will attend box, mark you down for the lamb.

you'll never know what it could have been