Summary: Stiles is calculating in his head how much bigger this kid is than him when he's suddenly lifted off of the ground and thrown into the lone dumpster behind the school. "Now you're where you belong." Stiles briefly wonders if Danny gets this same treatment before realizing that Jackson would have their heads.
Because everyone likes Danny. No one really cares about Stiles the way Jackson cares about Danny.
That summer everything changes. Despite Scott's protests he begins to work a lot more with Derek's pack once the Alpha Pack is made known to-well to everyone with prior knowledge of the existence of werewolves, plus Danny. Because let's be honest you can't really keep much from Danny for long (he may be cute, but he's not clueless like Scott is), and the only one who can seem to deal with Jackson when Lydia can't is Danny. While he takes it all in stride, Stiles (and Derek) can see the familiar uneasiness in his eyes about the situation, but he warms up to the entire thing quickly enough. After all, it's Jackson, and there's nothing Danny wouldn't do for him.
The Alpha Pack hasn't struck, but Stiles thinks it's only a matter of time before they make their presence known. While he sort of trusts Derek now and he regularly puts his life in Scott's hands way too often, he's not sure (even with Peter) that they're ready for this challenge. But summer is relatively quiet regardless; Danny knows, Lydia finally understands the entire situation (and smacks Stiles, and then Jackson, for not telling her), and there's a quiet calmness that blankets over Beacon Hills, something that, usually talkative Stiles, is incredibly grateful for. His dad works longer shifts and spends more time away from home, but it suits Stiles just fine to have the entire day all to himself to do as he pleases; especially after the hellacious year he's had.
Stiles finds himself telling everyone who will listen that he plans to continue his efforts in making Lydia his girlfriend. And while naive, clueless Scott takes the information with a smile and a show of support (and then bounds off to meet with Isaac only seconds after his great proclamation), Lydia isn't so blind. She sees the finality in his eyes. Whatever relationship he was trying to forge was something of the past. She offers to be friends, partners in crime whenever the pack needs them; it's easy for him to say yes because he did love this girl for so long. He still loves her, of course, he's just not sure it's in the same way anymore. Too much has happened. While Scott is mending his relationship with his mom and trying to help Allison cope, Lydia and Stiles are hanging out. He finds that she's surprisingly smart when he's not chasing after her and when she's not being a snob.
He isn't forging any special bonds with the pack, but he sees that Isaac and Erica are trying to include him more. He doesn't think Derek's said anything to them about it, but he doesn't quite understand why they'd ever be doing it on their own. They're protective of each other, but they (Scott, unfortunately, included) aren't protective of Stiles.
Derek is-well he wasn't being nicer per say, but spending more free time with the pack gives Stiles a glimpse into what Derek is like when it wasn't a life or death situation. And it is nice. He's different with them when they're just hanging out and being as close to normal as they can get. Derek seems to bond more easily with Isaac than he does any of the other betas, but Stiles isn't entirely surprised. They both have a lot in common, losing their family-wise. Stiles knows it's only a matter of time before Jackson accepts his place and is brought into the I-have-dead-or-missing-parents fold. He's surprised, however, that none of this surprises him.
Jackson is a completely and utterly different topic of conversation. While the rest of them seem to want Stiles around in at least some capacity, Jackson is still his usual asshole self. It doesn't really surprise him, but it kind of hurts considering he's already saved Jackson's life a handful of times, and even Erica and Boyd are warming up to him (Erica may or may not enjoy snuggling next to Stiles on the couch while they watch movies more than she does with Boyd, but she'll never admit it and she promises to rip Stiles' throat out if he ever repeats that sentence again to anyone). Lydia tries to explain Jackson to him the best she can, but she doesn't do a very good job (and okay, yeah, Stiles understands that being adopted kind of can come as a shock, but it doesn't give you the right to be a complete asshole all of the time. And at least he has two loving parents, regardless of their biology).
He has a dream about Jackson, Lydia, and him as little kids running around the Stilinski backyard. There are flickers of moments between the three; there's laughter and cookies and his mom is there smiling and telling he and Jackson that one day they'll become such wonderful young men. He wakes up in tears, but he's not even sure why. He walks around in a bit of a daze, something that always happens the day after he dreams of his mom, but it's different this time because he doesn't remember any of this. He doesn't remember ever being friends with Jackson or Lydia. He doesn't remember playing tag or eating cookies. He doesn't remember his mom looking so fondly at them. It's so vivid of a dream that it has to be real, has to be a memory and not something he's invented in his head.
Later that night his dad is sitting at the table, folders from work spread out in front of him, and he looks busy so Stiles isn't sure he should even bother him with any of this. Why bring up a subject so hard and hurtful to talk about as his mom? He doesn't even look up from his work as Stiles calls out to him, but he hums in response.
Stiles bites down on his lower lip, suddenly more nervous even after all of the times he's practiced this conversation in his head upstairs in his room, "Did-" he huffs, angry with himself because he can't just blurt out the words like he wants to, so he shakes his head and mumbles, "Never mind."
"Stiles," he turns back to look at his father when he reaches the door between the kitchen and the dining room; he's staring at him now, the papers and folders in front of him forgotten and a look of worry etched onto his face. "What do you need?"
"I had," Stiles drops down onto a chair across from his father. "I had a dream about mom." They sit in silence for a few minutes before the Sheriff drops his pencil onto the kitchen table and reaches to grab for Stiles' hand. When he squeezes Stiles' hand it only reassures him that much more, and so he asks, "Did we ever have Lydia and Jackson come over? When mom was-"
His dad furrows his eyebrows and Stiles is instantly sorry that he ever brought up the topic of conversation, especially when they so rarely talk about anything anymore, "You mean before she passed away?" Stiles nods apprehensively and his father sighs. "When you were little they were here most afternoons, mostly because Jackson's parents worked a lot. She watched him on days that his parents would work late. You, Lydia, and Jackson spent most of your time outside playing. Jackson would have dinner here and then his parents would come and take him home. It doesn't surprise me that you don't remember, Stiles, you were a toddler when your mom started watching him during the afternoons, and then Jackson's mom stopped working all day when you were six."
He's a little vindicated that the dream isn't a dream, but a memory (though he's still not sure how much of it was real). He doesn't have any more dreams, not about Jackson or Lydia (which is kind of strange) or his mother; not until a large senior purposefully aims for Stiles in the hallway and shoulders him into a set of lockers. Jackson is only standing a few feet away retrieving books from his locker, but despite Derek's 'pack is pack and you protect pack' speech Jackson turns on his heels and walks in the opposite direction as if nothing had ever happened.
Later that night Stiles dreams of sitting at their kitchen counter with Jackson; his mom is making them a snack, singing and humming along with the radio. She looks beautiful and carefree and it's almost like an out of body experience for Stiles because the younger Stiles leans over to ask Jackson if they'll always be friends. Little Jackson nods and before he can respond Stiles' mother smiles at the two of them from her place at the sink.
"Well of course you're always going to be friends, sweetheart. Jackson will take care of you and you'll take care of Jackson; that's what friends do."
"Always?" Little Stiles' asks his mom; his eyes widen at the thought of there being an always, because 'always and forever' is a long time to a six year old little boy with zero concept of time.
"Always," Little Jackson concurs with a large grin that eerily mimics the one he still sports even today.
Stiles is again shaking and crying when he wakes up. He doesn't register that his dad is rubbing his back at first. It isn't until the next morning that he realizes that he'd been crying because of a lost friendship that he doesn't even remember as much as he had been crying over his mom.
Stiles spends half of the next day wondering if Jackson remembers the conversation and the other half wondering if it wasn't a memory and just his subconscious grasping at straws.
Stiles is grateful that no one harasses him for a few weeks. Everyone is too distracted by midterms, and Stiles finds himself alone in his own room studying. Most of the pack has been studying in groups at Derek's newly renovated house in the woods, but Stiles still doesn't feel like he fits there. Scott and Allison get back together, both agreeing to take their second time around much more slow than the last (something he's sure that Chris Argent is grateful for), and he's proud of his friend for deciding to take the relationship slowly this time. They hold hands and do sappy things together again, but it doesn't bother Stiles as much as it once did. It's hard not to like Allison especially when she's not crazy and trying to kill or maim them all. She even begins to seem comfortable around Derek, and vice versa, which is a feat in itself.
It's around November that Stiles confides in Lydia. He's fidgety and nervous, but he needs to tell someone because if he doesn't say it out loud he's going to explode.
He says it in a jumble of words, "I don't think I like just girls. Did you know we used to be best friends when we were kids?"
She smiles, softly, and just looks at him for a moment, "My mom has a picture in one of our photo albums of us—" she moves to grab a big black book from her bookshelf and sits on her bed next to Stiles. She shows him a picture, it's a bit worn at the edges despite still being under plastic, but it's clear who the four children are. Stiles is in the middle with Jackson to one side, Lydia on the other, and Danny's arm around Jackson's shoulder. They're all five, maybe six, years old and smiling. "My mom says that your mom took this and sent her and Jackson's mom a copy. I think Danny might have one too."
"I've never seen this before," Stiles whispers, touching the page briefly before allowing Lydia to return the book to her bookshelf. "We used to be friends and I didn't even know it."
"We're friends though now, right?"
"Are we?" Stiles asks, honestly wanting to know.
"Sure," Lydia beams; she pulls Stiles into a hug that both reassures and terrifies him, because god help him, having Lydia as a best friend just might kill him quicker than any Alpha pack ever could.
They talk a lot more. They get coffee and read the same books (Lydia doesn't like Twilight, but had said so to fit in) and talk about things that he just can't say to Scott. He talks a lot about how confused he feels about his sexuality, and she gives shockingly good advice. Jackson joins them on occasion (and bitches and moans the entire time), but it's Danny who tags along more often than not. Stiles isn't comfortable telling anyone else that he may or may not like guys yet, but he sort of feels safe telling Danny.
In the end it all just bites him in the ass anyway.
The same senior from weeks earlier finds him again after school and okay Stiles is pretty sure that he's targeting him specifically now, knocking him back into the brick wall just outside of the school and hissing "fag" at him with such malice and hatred in his eyes. He blinks back the tears that are threatening to fall and he's hoping to reign them in long enough to make it to his Jeep. He passes kids in groups, all laughing and pointing at him like he's been turned into some sideshow at the circus, and the senior calls out to him again but he blocks the noise when he slams his car door shut. He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself before putting his Jeep into drive; his mind is flooding with words of hatred towards himself and betrayalstupidhowcouldyou aimed at everyone else.
He cries on the floor of his shower, long shuddering sobs that make his chest ache and his face hurt when he finally exits and dries off his skin until it's rough and red and painful. He ignores Lydia's texts, Danny's phone calls, and falls face first onto his bed, burying himself down under the comforter and pressing the pillow over the back of his head.
He should have known better than to trust anyone in the first place.
When he wakes it's still dark outside, but he can see a sliver of the sun beginning to rise in the distance. He checks the time on his phone and notices that he has dozens of missed texts and calls from Danny, Lydia, Scott and even Allison and Isaac. He checks to make sure his door and his window are locked before going to take another shower. He just wants to scrub and scrub his skin until the previous day washes away completely. Stiles manages to convince his dad that he's sick (which isn't entirely difficult because his nose is runny and his face looks puffy from crying, but he passes it off as a sinus infection and sore throat), and he stays home from school. He continues to ignore his phone and the sandwich and plate of chips that his dad leaves him for dinner.
That night, though, is when his father sits down at the edge of the bed, presses a hand to Stiles' back, and sighs, "This isn't the flu or some cold is it? Did something happen at school? Did you get into a fight with Scott?" Stiles sniffles, shaking his head, because he doesn't trust himself not to blurt it all out the second he opens his mouth to respond no. "You're scaring me, Stiles, you haven't acted like this since your mom."
And because the last thing he wants to do is scare or worry his dad anymore than he already has (you're a terrible son, your mother would be ashamed, his brain supplies him), he showers and goes to school the next morning. His mind isn't present and it takes more work than he thought it would take to avoid Danny, Lydia, and the senior who had been body slamming him into hard surfaces. Danny is easy to avoid, because they only have two classes together and they don't sit anywhere near one another and by the time he even moves from his seat Stiles is out the door and half way down the hall. Lydia is another story. They sit next to each other in two classes and are within whispering distance in the other two. She's talking to him, asking him questions, asking him about the scene in front of the school, and giving him her best I'm-concerned-about-you face, but he faces the teacher and tries to focus on William Shakespeare. He can't avoid Scott, mostly because Scott is Scott and he's also his best friend. But when Scott asks if he's okay (and ever so subtly asks about the rumors, are they true, Stiles, are the rumors true?), Stiles says that he's fine, it was just the flu. Scott believes him and Stiles thanks whatever god exists that Scott is a naïve person who has yet to learn how to fully use his wolf powers.
"You can't keep running away from me forever, you freak," the senior says as he corners him on his way to the lacrosse field. He'd planned to skip lunch and Calculus and sit on the bleachers by the field for some Stiles-time. Best laid plans, Stiles thinks to himself as he faces down the jock pining him back against the dumpster. He is much, much bigger than him. Stiles is calculating in his head how much bigger this kid is than him when he's suddenly lifted off of the ground and thrown into the lone dumpster behind the school. "Now you're where you belong." Stiles briefly wonders if Danny gets this same treatment before realizing that Jackson would have their heads.
Because everyone likes Danny. No one really cares about Stiles the way Jackson cares about Danny.
He hears the bell in the distance, muffled by boxes of used school supplies and trash from the first lunch hour, and knows that everyone is leaving the cafeteria and heading to their next class. He and Scott are supposed to be going to Calculus, but he can't really show up smelling like a—well like a dumpster so he drives home. What he doesn't expect is his dad sitting at the kitchen table looking at an array of new folders.
"Stiles?"
"Hey. Hi, sorry, I need a change of clothes and yeah I know I smell like I walked through a dumpster, which is because I did. Walk through a dumpster. They're surprisingly great places to think about life and such, which you wouldn't think they were, right? Because it's disgusting down there and people throw their garbage in there."
"Stiles," his father has already moved out of his seat at the table approaching Stiles, eyes full of concern. "What happened?"
"Nothing. It's fine. It's nothing. It's nothing I can't handle, I swear," Stiles says and his dad reaches out a hand to wipe the tears Stiles doesn't even know that he was crying. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dad, I'm so sorry."
A/N: it's just easier to follow my tumblr or my AO3 account because FFnet is a piece of crap format-wise and ugh. yes. you get all the fun author's notes over there :)