Author: i decided to start this a little differently. so those of you who has started reading this... if anyone has... this is the prologue.
Jacob Black… Northern Canada, August 08th 5 days before Bella's Wedding
I was no longer sure how many days had passed since in left home. I wasn't sure how many days had passed since I came into contact with humanity. Life seemed to pass by in a blur and being human felt like it was non-existent. I wondered for brief moments whether even being human was possible. Although I could hear the voices in my head coaxing my return, I would not respond. Ignorance had become my best friend. It became my refuge.
I, Jacob Black, had begun to think, feel, and breathe like an animal. I fed like an animal. Bled like an animal. Hunted like an animal. Loved like an animal. Hated like an animal. But what did I hate? I had long since forgotten. What was there to hate? The mental block I erected served its purpose well. The cut I had inside myself continued to bleed and no amount of coldness could numb the pain. I had lost. Lost what? I was lost.
As I sniffed around with all the instincts of an animal, I caught a scent unlike any other. It was extremely sweet, like ripe fruit still hanging on to its tree of life. Yet, it had bitterness to it, like chocolate. This bittersweet scent caused my mouth to salivate, and I immediately, instinctively moved toward the scent. Perhaps I would eat fruit instead of raw meat. I rushed through the dense treats only to meet a small clearing entangled by roots. As I sniffed around, I came across the last thing I would expect so deep in the woods. A human girl. I recoiled instantly as she startled me with a deadly glare.
The female was dressed in jeans and a wool turtleneck, thick boots, and a waist-length parka. All of her items of clothing were torn, slightly bloodied and she was shivering while cradling her arm. Her skin was dark, the color of burnt sienna, thick long spiraled black hair, full lips that had a partial raspberry color to it, and the most startling green eyes. For a moment I wondered it was just green of the forest reflecting but when she looked down they were still that same emerald color. I looked around to see if I could pick up any other scent like the one I caught and much to my dismay she was it. How stupid was I to think that fruit would grow on trees this far up north. I looked back down at her fierce expression. She was not an ordinary female.
"What the hell do you look so dumbfounded for?! I am the scent you picked up!" she spat, she had a southern accent. "How many of you do I have to fend off? At least the stupid bear thought I was already dead. Lord knows I smell like it." She grumbled more to herself than to me.
I realized very quickly how things were panning out. What was she doing here? A partially broken cell phone lay a few feet away from her. There was no method of transportation, no roads nearby, no trails… where did she come from? Why did she look like she just got out of a serious fight?
"Can you stop looking around stupidly please? If you're not going to try to eat me then at least bring your ass over here so I don't freeze to death. Can you understand that much, wolf?"
Was she not afraid of a wolf of my size? I was beginning to realize fast that something in me was changing. I was listening to her. Drinking in every bit of her husky southern accent. Then she said something in French and then reverted back to English. I had never been so aware of an individual before, never had the urge to protect, to support. I heard her sigh which broke me out of my synchronization. As best as she could, the female crawled out of the tiny space under the roots and stood up before me. She took care not to move her wrist, as she squared herself, slowly, painfully in front of me.
"Eat me." She said tilting her head to the side. It was tantalizing. No Fear, no shame. I shook my head.
"That's what I thought. A werewolf." She muttered, plopping her self down on the cold hard ground in the open of the windy atmosphere. She winced as she made contact and shivered violently.
"You think anyone is going to find me? I repaired my cell phone as best I could. I should be able to get a call in. Then again I am in the middle of pure forest." She paused looking up at me who stood a few feet away from her. Watching her warily now.
"Yes I know about your kind. Not personally but enough to know one when I see one." She lay on her back and stared up at the sky through the trees. I can't ask you to go get someone because you will be shot on site. And even if you go human, you'll be arrested for human indecency." She laughed at her luck. "Whatever are your reasons for being so animalistic their not worth it. Trust me. And I'm the queen of shit happens, just look at me now." She curled up into fetal position.
I lopped over to her and snuggled as close as I could to her without crushing her. I felt as she grasped my fur and I turned my head to the side to look at her. She curled up into the fetal position closer to me. "You know, I've been here for about 2 days now. In the middle of a forest I have no god damn sense of direction. And to be honest I think that's what scares me the most about the forest. I am forever enamored by its mystery, but that control that I do not have scares me, as well as that loneliness."
I watched as she crawled closer to my head. She placed a cold hand on my snout. Starring deeply into my eyes, I could not turn away. In her eyes a flicker of emotions fluttered through and she slowly brought me to as best a hug she could. Slowly she tucked herself below my forearm and my body. Certainly it would be warmer there I thought. I could feel my heart accelerating at her closeness, my breathing getting heavier, snuggling to her, as though she was a safety blanket. Do not leave me. I thought wishfully. Life won't feel right. Why was the world suddenly revolving around this one girl? It was always like this. Just like Bella.
Bella….
Bella…
Ah. Bella. The pain alone from that thought was enough and I howled. Although the pain of that was still there, it was not as deep. Some of it had been quelled, numbed and quickly in realization I was clinging to my first berth in weeks of human contact. This was different from Bella. I shouldn't get attached so why was I snuggling myself closer to her. She moaned through gritted teeth at my extra strength. I flinched and then licked her in attempt to show my apology. She cringed and looked up at me.
"Its Melisandre. My name that is. Melisandre Montealegre. Its fine. The pain that is. At least I know I'm not dying" I nodded to let her know that I acknowledged. There was a silence and I waited. We waited what seemed like hours. I heard her begin to sing.
"Please, please forgive me
but i won't be home again
maybe someday you'll look up
and barely conscious say to no one
"isn't something missing?"
"you wont cry for my absence i know
you forgot me long ago
am i that unimportant?
am i so insignificant?
isn't something missing?
isn't someone missing me?
All my anger and devastation came flooding back to me and I began to shudder and whimper. How could this girl guess- know- what I felt on the inside. How was she so uncannily intuitive to my pain. Stop! STOP SINGING! I begged in my head although I could not speak it.
"even though i'm the sacrifice
you won't try for me, not now
though i'd die to know you love me
i'm all alone.
isn't someone missing me?
I shook hard enough to blur my vision. I was foolish. Who had I been fooling? I was crying. I was pouring whole raindrops. Was that even possible for a wolf? All emotion that I had blocked out in these past few weeks of my disappearance was a swirling tempest. I roared, snarled and growled but I could still hear her words.
"please, please forgive me
but i won't be home again
i know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
"isn't something missing?
isn't someone missing me?"
"even though i'm the sacrifice
you won't try for me, not now
though i'd die to know you love me
i'm all alone.
isn't someone missing me?
I clawed up dirt and ran myself into nearby trees. I did not want to hear it so plain as day. No more! I was having a temper tantrum that would have torn apart whole houses. It would have caused all of humanity to shoot me without sympathy. I was an animal. These emotions brought that out in full force. I had no awareness of my surroundings or who and what. My pain slowed to minor drops. I was still crying but not as harsh. I looked to see Melisandre lying in the same spot I had left her.
"and if i bleed,i'll bleed
knowing you don't care
and if i sleep just to dream of you
and wake without you there
isn't something missing?
isn't something...
"even though i'm the sacrifice
you won't try for me, not now
though i'd die to know you love me
i'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
isn't someone missing me?
Guilt washed over me as I realized I could have hurt such a fragile girl. I trod slowly to her and peered down. Her eyes slid to look into mine. Melisandre continue to lie perfectly still where she was with nothing but her arm caressing my nose. With the song done I calmed and nuzzled my head against her arm. She was now comforting me. For a while she was silent and then she spoke softly Whispering into my fur.
"Jacob Black... Do not worry about what could have been or what you lost. Thoughts like that only bring grief. This Bella girl knew what she wanted from the start and fate had decided such for her. You can not go against the gods and free will is a dangerous thing. In a few months your love will subside and make room for someone new. In your heart you will always love her and her, you. Your brothers are worried about your sanity. They too feel the pain that you are in. Share it equally with them because that is what they want for you. A chance to start again is better than running away. Running away only brings your problems to come find you. And she is trying to find you. Lord knows I know better than anyone how to run away. Look at the predicament I got myself into now." Melisandre stroked the side of my head. "You will return to face the day. It will hurt but it is nothing you can not handle. Pain is good. Pain is healthy. It allows you to see and understand the present more clearly. You see the present now, Jacob Black. Its time for you to go home. Your father and your brothers are waiting on you. They will welcome you in whatever state you choose. Go Home."
I stood up unsure about her words. What if she was wrong? I knew she wasn't. What about her? How long was Melisandre going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere before someone came to get her? Now that I had come across her how could I just abandon her? As if reading my mind she responded.
"I will be fine. My sister and I have a special bond. The cell phone rang while you were throwing a tantrum. My helicopter should be here soon. No worries, you have no obligation to me." Melisandre finished smiling. It was beautiful.
I stayed until I could hear the helicopter in the distance. I turned to go when I heard her speak again.
"In Japan they have a tradition. If you lose your love, cut your hair. I suppose that it means when your hair grows back you would have grown anew without the burden of that old love." She paused thoughtfully, unsure of what she was about to say next. "I hope that if we should meet again, your hair would already grow out to length and your heart will have grown for more room. Though the chances of meeting me again are slim because I'm an International Citizen." She laughed. "Go home and grow up, Jacob Black." Melisandre said nothing more but waved me goodbye.
I took off into the density of the forest. It would take me days to get home with very little sleep. That would give me enough time to contemplate whether this was a mistake or not.
Sam…I called out in my head. Sam..?
Yes Jacob?
I believe I am ready… I wasn't ready to finish that sentence. What was I ready for? To come home? To see Bella? To..?
We will be waiting as always. You are always welcomed home.
That was all I needed for incentive. I was going home
Jacob woke from his memory dream to hear Billy calling his name. Rolling over lazily he looked at the clock, damn, he was going to be late for class again. It had been almost a year and a half since he had come home. Sat in the back of Bella's wedding ceremony and disappeared after giving her his blessing and left just before things got too hard for him. As promised the pack had waited for him and welcomed him home. It was a feeling of elation and he would forever be grateful to them for understanding... except Leah; who was still as bitter as ever. Now that he was in a Seattle college for engineers and mechanics, Jacob could finally do what he wanted.
Tonight was the the night he would finally be seeing Melisandre again. It took him, Embry, Quil, and Sam 6 months of searching to finally come across the any leads on her. They all crowded around the computer and as Jacob opened the fansite that belonged to Melisandre's band, E.R. There he had not only found photos but interviews and more that confirmed it was who he had been looking for. From there it was a series of emailing back and forth. Though Jacob never mentioned their first official meeting to her, she was very receptive to his emails and they became good friends because of it. Jacob also realized that she had not been joking when she said that she was an International Citizen. Melisandre officially lived in New Orleans, but every summer she traveled and the greater part of her junior year in college was spent in Japan. Every time he received a letter or a postcard from her it was always from some foreign country. She was the reason he decided to become an airplane mechanic as well as car.
Jacob still had no understanding of why one meeting with one stranger turned the events of his life around.