It was any normal day in Sunnydale, California which of course meant that anything strange, weird, bizarre, or just plain wacko could and would probably happen. This day in particular started in the basement of a house, but not just any house, the house of three dorks who just happened to be evil geniuses.
Warren Meers one of these self proclaimed evil geniuses as well as notorious misogynist turned off his blow torched, lifted up his mask, and turned to face his two cohorts with an evil sneer.
"Its finished." He said to Jonathan and Andrew, holding up a large, silver gun covered in many wires and buttons as if it were Excalibur itself.
Jonathan and Andrew rushed Warren, both grabbing for the gun.
"I want to try it first! I want to try it!" They both shouted in excitement. Warren backed away with an annoyed work.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses' boys. I built the thing, so I get the first go." Warren said and both Andrew and Jonathan took a step back grumbling. Warren held up the gun and shot a nearby table. The table became enveloped in the beam and then began to get smaller and smaller and smaller until it was doll sized. Warren laughed with glee.
Jonathan and Andrew rushed over to the tiny table and Andrew picked it up.
"That's incredible!" Jonathan shouted, "Ok, my turn." Warren scowled and reluctantly handed over the gun, "What should I shoot?"
Warren shrugged, "We haven't tested it on a person yet, so…"
Jonathan smirked and turned the gun toward Andrew who was still studying the miniaturized table. Andrew looked up to see Jonathan pointing the gun at him.
"Wait, don't!" Andrew shouted, but Jonathan ignored him and fired the gun. The beam hit Andrew and enveloped him like it had done to the table. Andrew began to get smaller and smaller until he too was about doll sized.
Jonathan and Warren walked over to study Andrew who was cowering on the ground, staring up at the two giants.
"Make me big again." The tiny Andrew said in a high pitched voice.
"Do you know how to do that?" Jonathan asked.
"Sure, you think I'm stupid enough to make this thing only go one way. He snatched the gun from Jonathan's hands, pressed some buttons on the side and fired.
Another beam hit Andrew and he began grow and grow until he was back to his normal height.
"Not cool guys. What if that hadn't worked or what if the beams did something to me?" Andrew asked.
"Well, that would suck then, wouldn't it? But it didn't, so stop complaining." Warren said. Andrew crossed his arms and pouted, but didn't say another word.
"Now what?" Jonathan asked.
Warren frowned, thinking for a moment, but before he came up with anything Andrew shouted, ""Oh, I know!" shouted Andrew, "Let's shrink all the world's monuments"
Warren shot Andrew a look, "And what would that do?"
"Well, we could ransom them for lots of money." Andrew replied indignant.
Warren thought for another moment and then said, "Not a bad idea, not a great idea, but not a bad one. Too complicated though. I've got a better idea."
That night, the three were sitting inside their black van, staring at the First National Bank of Sunnydale.
"You still haven't explained the plan. What are we going to shrink down really small and try and sneak in?" Jonathan asked.
"Do you want to be really small, well I mean smaller than you already are." Warren asked.
Jonathan scowled, but didn't say anything.
"No, we're going try something else." Warren said and then pointed the gun out of the window of the van. He fired at the bank and the beam enveloped it, causing it to get smaller and smaller and smaller.
The three hopped out of the van and raced over to the basically empty lot where the bank once stood. The bank itself was about the size of a dollhouse now.
Warren placed the shrink ray on top of the bank and began to lift one end of it, "Crap its heavy, help me with it guys." The other two raced over and lifted the other end; they then made their way to the van.
When they were about three quarters of the way there, Jonathan began to lose his grip.
"Hold on guys, it's slipping." Jonathan said.
"We're almost there, just hold on." Warren snapped.
"I don't think I can." Jonathan said.
"Shut up and move." Warren said.
Jonathan tried to hold on, he really did, but his hands were all sweaty and the bank was made of cement, not really a great gripping material. The bank slipped from his fingers, but he managed to catch it before it hit the ground. However, the shrink ray on the other hand was not so lucky. It slid off the top of the bank and hit the ground with a thud.
All three guys looked down at the gun nervously, waiting for it to malfunction or something, but nothing happened. They set the bank down carefully and then Warren picked up the gun.
"Is it broken?" Jonathan asked.
"I don't know." Warren said, "It looks ok. Let's get out of here and then we'll deal with this." Warren put the shrink ray into the front of the van and then ran back to help the other two load the bank into the back. Once they had done that they hopped in and drove off. They stopped a few blocks away and then piled into the back to study the bank and to test the shrink ray.
It took all three of them to pry the roof of the bank off, but they managed and then Warren ripped the vault door off and pulled tiny stacks of money out.
"Ok, here it goes." Warren said and pointed the gun at the money and fired. The beam enveloped the money, but nothing happened.
"Crap!" Warren shouted, "Look what you did Jonathan!"
Jonathan cringed and said, "I'm sorry, the thing was slipping, and I couldn't stop it, and it fell, and I…"
"Shut up." Warren said, "We have to go back to the lair and fix it." He climbed out the back and took the driver's seat, but when he turned on the lights, he found someone standing directly in front of the car.
"I saw this van and I was like, 'I know that van' and so I started to walk over and then here we are." Buffy said as she started to walk towards the van again, "So, what are you guys doing sitting in your van in the middle of the night?"
"It's nice to see you Buffy. This is little surprise and I do mean 'little'." Jonathan said as he grabbed the shrink ray and stepped out the back.
Warren groaned at the pun and then realized what Jonathan was doing, he turned around and shouted, "Stop you idiot! The gun is broken!"
But, Jonathan had already stepped out and was leveling the gun at Buffy. He pulled the trigger and the beam shot out, enveloping her, but like with the money, nothing happened.
"Nice laser beam guys, but you know they make hand held ones now, with just one button." Buffy said.
Jonathan stared at her, then at the gun, then back at her. Then he shrieked and jumped back into the van. Warren backed up and sped off like his life depended on it, which it very well might have.
Buffy just shook her head and walked away.
Fifteen minutes alter the trio was back in their basement, carefully carrying the bank down the stairs. Once they had it settled on the ground Jonathan ran back upstairs to grab the gun and the stack of tiny money.
He ran back downstairs a few moments later excited, "Guys, guys!"
"What?" Warren asked annoyed.
"The money we shot with the gun! Its bigger!"
Back at the basement, the trio unloaded the tiny bank.
"Uh, Warren?" asked Andrew as he opened the back of the van, "You know that money you shot?"
"Yeah?" he responded.
"It's bigger," he said.
Warren ran towards Jonathan and saw that the money had indeed grown.
"This is perfect." Warren said.
"Yeah it's not broken." Jonathan said beaming, "I didn't break it!"
Warren sighed and shook his head, "You did break it, but it still works. But best of all, you shot the slayer."
Jonathan and Andrew looked at each other and then Warren and then they grinned.
Warren smiled back and then said, "Wait, you did remember to change it back to shrink, right?"