After what Ziva did to Tony on last night's episode, I had to write this.

"I was alone."

Those three words had cut Tony down to his soul. She had said them in the charred remains of the research office and his heart had shattered into a million tiny shards. After all he had been through for her, all he had sacrificed for her, and all he was willing to still do ... she had felt alone and ended up in some other man's bed. As he watched her interrogation by Parsons, he was at first angry about the way the smug investigator was treating his partner, but at the revelation about Adam ... Tony's world had come to an end.

Now, standing just a few feet from her, he watched in shocked silence as Gibbs was led away by Parsons and his goons. He hadn't been able to formulate a coherent thought since they left the scene of the fire and he was still speechless.

Gibbs walked between the larger of the two federal agents as they headed toward the elevators, his face one of fierce determination and annoyance. Looking back at his team, he gave them his signature smirk, and then he nodded to Tony. "Dinozzo, take care of them until I get back."

Tony didn't even have to think about how to respond, he gave his usual programmed response.

"You got it Boss."

As the elevator doors closed and their leader disappeared from sight, a grim silence filled the room. Every eye fixed on Tony as he stood stone-like just in front of Gibbs' desk. Without a word, Tony took long strides over to the elevator, pressed the down button and waited for it to arrive.

"Where are you going?" McGee shouted to Tony's back.

Without turning around, Tony answered, "I'll be in the Lab, somebody's got to tell Abby."

When the silver doors opened, Tony quickly stepped inside and pressed the button to take him to the lower levels of the federal building. Just before the door closed, a familiar female hand shot in. The door bumpers activated and opened once more. Before he could protest, Ziva stepped in with him.

She stood beside Tony, just in front of the control panel. Ziva tapped the same key Tony had, and the doors closed once more. She glanced to her right and saw that he was staring up at the lighted numbers just above the closed doors. He wasn't even blinking.

Realizing that he wasn't going to acknowledge her presence, Ziva quickly reached out and flipped the 'Stop' switch and the elevator stopped. Taking a deep breath, she started talking, staring down at the floor.

"Tony?" she whispered.

No response.

This time she looked up at him, he was still focused on the little numbers. She couldn't even tell if he was breathing.

"Tony?"

Still nothing.

"Are you not even going to talk to me?"

She was met with more silence. Now she was getting angry. "Look, what happened to the 'new us'? The us that shares what's going on instead of hiding in silence?" Ziva thought back to the conversation she and Tony had in the elevator that had been destroyed in the bombing. How she wished she could go back to that moment and say so much more.

She heard him take a breath, hoping it meant he was going to speak. She soon regretted it.

"It doesn't seem to matter what I say or do, you never believe me anyway."

No it was her turn to feel broken.

"Tony ... I ... I'm so ... I'm so sorry..." She was on the verge of tears and he still hadn't looked at her. He stood right beside her but she and never felt so far away from her best friend. She should have called him from Israel when she felt alone, he would have made her laugh; when she felt weak, he would have flown to her as fast as he could, but what had she done? Fallen into bed with a man who just happened to be there. Best friend? Yeah, right.

She looked up into his eyes that had always looked at her with understanding and compassion, but now they were cold, like he was a stranger. Dear God! What have I done?

Ziva moved around to stand directly in front of him, his eyes still hadn't moved.

"Tony ... please ..."

Tony took another deep breath and lowered his eyes to hers. But when her gaze met his, she saw nothing of the man who had been her rock for so many years. The Tony that had risked his life to rescue her from Somalia, who had her back in Berlin, and who had saved her time and time again ... wasn't there. His lips moved and his words came out gruff and dismissive.

"I've got to talk to Abbs."

Her heart accelerated when his left arm moved toward her, hoping his was going to pull her into his warm embrace. Ziva's heart clenched when he reached past her and flipped the 'Stop' switch back to 'Run' and the elevator began its descent once more. Then his eyes flicked back up to the lighted numbers, watching them count down slowly.

Ziva wanted to say a million things to try and make him understand why she had done what she did. But every word died on her lips before she could say them. And really, what could she say? How could she repair the chasm that had opened between them. All the excuses sounded acceptable in her head but when she tried to speak the words, she knew they were meaningless. It was pointless. She had hurt him too deply this time for mere words, he wasn't listening anyway. She knew what she had to do.

But the universe conspired against her. Just as she reached to grab his arm and pull him down into an earth-shattering kiss, the elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Momentarily distracted, Ziva felt Tony begin to move past her. She grasped his bicep but he forcefully yanked his arm free and stormed through the opening.

Ziva's mind told her to follow him, but her legs and feet were frozen in place. She wanted to reach out to him and pull him into her arms, but they remained limp at her sides. As the doors closed in front of her, she felt her world crumble beneath her.

Just before the door closed, a familiar male hand shot in. The door bumpers activated and opened once more. Tony stood right in front of Ziva and her skin flushed hot as hope sprung in her soul. But the cold look she received dashed that hope in to nothing.

"When Gibbs is finished with Parsons," Tony's teeth clenched as he spoke. "When we are done with this 'witch-hunt', I'm going to ask that one of us be transferred off the team."

Ziva's heart stopped its frantic thumping in her chest and grew cold at his words.

"I can't do this anymore. You don't trust me, you don't believe in me, and I can't work with you anymore." Tony spun around letting the doors close softly behind him.

Ziva watched the man she had betrayed yet again, walk briskly away from her and she knew in her soul he wouldn't be coming back to her. She had seen the conviction in his eyes, he wasn't lying, he wasn't trying to get a rise out of her ... he was done.

The doors closed in front of her, Ziva backed into the rear wall of the elevator. Her legs gave out and she sank to the tiled floor, tears streaming down her face. She let her head fall to her knees, her cries turned into sobs and her sobs became uncontrollable gasps as her world fell into an abyss.

Broken.

Devastated.

This time, when those three words came into her mind, they weren't an excuse or stupid reason for her actions. They were true.

She was alone.

Alone.