A/N- I know it has been said many times before, but this is my first venture into Grey's Anatomy fanfic, so for the love of everything McHoly, be gentle! This fic is based on a Gizzie ship, and rumors of a Gizzie baby, but I promise I have tried to take a different spin and I hope you enjoy the journey.

I want to go ahead and clear up any continuity (and or medicinal) issues. I know sometimes they take the line that even though weeks may span between each episode we view, it may only be the next day or so in "Grey Time". Regarding this story, there was only a small passage of time between the night George and Izzie slept together, and when the marrow was extracted for Hannah. This allows canon to occur, and the baby to still be in existence, because when they would have taken general blood panels before the procedure, the baby would barely be gestating. Hope that takes care of that!

Oh yeah, and they aren't mine…how bleak…

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For a million and one reasons, my heart is bleeding today.

You probably don't feel for me, and I don't blame you. I have been playing Damaged Girl for a while now. It is always one thing after another with me. And my behavior lately, I can only say that I am truly ashamed. I'm not so proud to be me sometimes. I sadly have even become a member of the Dirty Mistresses Club.

But my heart, it is bleeding.

My baby, my Sarah, now Hannah, is sick. Not sick in a common way, or a simple way. She has leukemia. A cancer is trying to eat her life away. Her prognosis is not good at all. Most unfortunately, I cannot grieve that fact in quiet lack of understanding. When I saw her chart, the surgeon in my mind took the sum total of levels of this, and percentages of that, and made a whole picture of how bad things truly were.

Now for the first time since she left my womb, she needs me. And I find myself bleeding with the sorrow of indecisiveness. It shouldn't be this hard. I know she needs my marrow. But it feels like I'm stuck in the mud, and the world is whizzing by. I can't process, I can't think.

I need George.

He can help me make this right. He can tell me what I need to do, and help me make it happen.

But, George, he isn't talking to me.

I made my last mistake with him, when I took him into my bed under the haze of bourbon. I don't think he knew at the time that it was my true stirrings that urged me to cross the line. I love him. Madly and truly. And now that he knows, he is PISSED. No longer lover, or best friend. I'm screwed.

Even as my heart bleeds out though, Bailey directs me in the right way. She holds my hand, takes my labs, and helps me hide my painful secret from prying eyes. The Nazi of the surgical floor, held me close and told me she understood as I cried because Hannah didn't want to see me.

For the first time in a long time, I have a true mother figure here. However that doesn't stop my heart from shattering. I want my baby to want me. I want my best friend to lie by me in the starched sheets and kiss my forehead till I'm okay.

How selfish am I?

No wonder my heart is bleeding.