Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling, and these aren't my characters. Sorry.
There once was a young lad named Harry Potter.
He lived in a house with his Uncle, Aunt, and cousin.
His parents were dead, so every day his cousin said,
"Who has parents that love them? You don't!"
He had no friends, so every day his cousin reminded him,
"Who has friends that appreciate their company? You don't!"
Then one day Harry Potter found out that he was a wizard!
Then he went to school where he made friends and had to continuously fight a Dark Lord.
Then one day as the Dark Lord was fighting Harry, Harry said,
"Who has a nosey nose? YOU DON'T!"
The Dark Lord raped Harry happily up the ass to death with a magical silver penis.
Then the Dark Lord said,
"Who's alive? You aren't"
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