Chapter 1: "I'm Pregnant"

It had been 3 months since Apollo had the best sex of his life while listening to "Sweet Victory" with Trucy Wright, his boss's daughter. One day, at work, Trucy came in with some news. "Polly?" she said. "I have something to tell you." Apollo was now officially Trucy's girlfriend, and he wanted to marry her. Anyway, Trucy had to tell Apollo the news. "I'm pregnant with your baby girl, Apollo. And not my dad's, because he used a condom." Apollo was shocked. "What… the… FUCK?!" he yelled. "Don't yell, Apollo! The people in Retail Row may hear you and kill us!" Trucy whispered. Apollo sighed. "I'm sorry, Trucy. I should have worn a condom." Trucy laughed. "What- do you think I'm angry?! Guess how happy the child will be here! Phoenix can rape her every day, and they can have a rape threesome with her soon-to-be uncle too! Phoenix won't have to fuck me anymore!" Apollo smiled. "Well, I suppose that's great. But… I feel like this story is missing a certain character…"

Chapter 2: Oh Yeah, Isn't This About Reggie?

Reggie sat alone in his home which was also in Retail Row. Well… I guess you couldn't call it a "home". It was a shopping cart. Anyway, Reggie was just on his phone, playing some Pokémon TCG and listening to the Caillou theme song on loop. Suddenly, Ninja started shooting at Reggie. Reggie pulled out his golden scar and fuckin blew Ninja to bits. Reggie then did a default dance on Ninja's dead-ass body. On stream, Ninja was pissed as hell. "What the FUCK?!" he yelled. "I'm going to fucking report you for STREAM SNIPING, ASSHOLE!" Reggie was unaware who Ninja was. Reggie suddenly saw a bunch of cop-looking guys but with Epic Games uniforms. He then realized that the Epic Games Cops were after him. "Oh, fuck." he muttered. Reggie was as innocent as a doorknob, and didn't know what to do. He dropped all his weapons and his brand new Chug Jug. The Epic Games Cops cuffed Reggie and said if found guilty, he would be facing a 7 day ban. Reggie then asked, "Can I hire a lawyer?" The cops laughed, and said "Isn't that standard, Stream Sniper?" Reggie shut up for the rest of the day.

Chapter 3: The Phone Call

The phone rang in Apollo's Retail Row office. Trucy picked it up, and answered with "Alright, alright, what the fuck do you dumbasses want?" Reggie sighed, and said "This is Reggie, calling from prison." Trucy was surprised. "What was it this time?" she asked. "Stream sniping," Reggie answered. "Just get Apollo on the goddamn phone before my 10 minutes are up." Trucy said, "Okay, okay, jeez. No need to get all fucking pissed." Trucy yelled out to Apollo, but there was no answer. "Oh yeah, he just went off to get a victory royale…" she said. Reggie sighed. "Just… tell him to visit me and get me out of this mess." The ten minutes was up, and the phone just hung up.

Chapter 4: I Don't Think You Trust In My Self-Rightous Nerficide

5 in the morning, Pacific. Ninja woke up. "Oh, god… I had another dream about stream sniping again…" he muttered. Ninja got on his PC, and realized he wasn't dreaming. Articles everywhere, from IGN to Fox News, detailed Ninja's unfair reporting and the arrest of the famed Reggie Fills Anime. Ninja called out to his wife, "Another day, another controversy!" His wife asked, "Did you say you wouldn't play with women again?" Ninja answered with a no. Ninja decided that he couldn't take it anymore. He started streaming, and a Nerf gun was to his head. This was intense, and someone needed to dox him to save his life. He had locked himself in his room, and his wife couldn't get in. Ninja couldn't take the stress of this life anymore; he wondered how PewDiePie stayed sane. But, he wondered this out loud. So, someone got PewDiePie in the chat to talk Ninja out of suicide by Nerf gun. A Nerf gun was very deadly when shot in eyes. Ninja started crying, and a Nerf gunshot was heard.

Chapter 5: Apollo Gets Ready

If Apollo wanted to win his latest case, "Ninja vs. Reggie Fills Anime", he had to be prepared. So, he gathered as much data as he could. According to Epic Games logs, Reggie had been sitting in the cart he was in for around 2 hours. And, according to the Twitch logs, at the time of the supposed "stream snipe", Ninja had only streamed for around 1 hour. Apollo decided to check out Ninja's Twitch VODs for clues. Apparently, Reggie default dancing caused the pissing off of Ninja. "Aha!" Apollo exclaimed. He had all he needed, but wanted to check one last thing- was Ninja talking about the incident live right now?

Chapter 6: I Still Really Doubt You Trust In My Self-Rightous Nerficide

Ninja had been quiet for around an hour. Most thought he had carried out the act. But what most didn't realize was that the gunshot was at the door, attempting to prevent his wife from trying to get in. It seemed to have worked, because she did not attempt to help him much more. Just when everyone thought he was dead, he got up. It turned out all the alcohol he was drinking at the time knocked him out. But Ninja was not looking good. He had fallen quite a distance, and his face was busted up. He was still in tears. "I've… I've got nothing, and noone to live for." he cried out. Suddenly, the door was busted down, and Ninja was cuffed by the actual cops. "What the actual hell?" he exclaimed. The cops said they had reports of him attempting to shoot his wife. And so, Ninja's breakdown had just made his life worse.

Chapter 7: Voicemail

"Hey uh, Mr. Apollo Justice? One of the essential people in your case has been apprehended, so it will be delayed until further notice. We may believe your client's innocence."

Chapter 8: The Baby

Apollo and Trucy were at the hospital. Trucy was about to give birth to their new daughter. They planned on naming her "Burger" after Maya Fey's, Phoenix Wright's assistant, favorite food. Trucy gave birth all of a sudden, and Burger was unleashed into the world. Apollo grinned. "Wow, I guess I'm a dad now." he said. Suddenly, Phoenix Wright busted the door open and yelled "Hold it!" He wanted to "look" at the baby. Trucy handed over Burger as Phoenix began unzipping his pants. Burger burst into tears, and that's when Apollo took Burger back. "Phoenix. I-I think you have a problem with raping underaged girls." he said. "A problem? A fucking problem? The only one here with a goddamn problem is you, asshead. Now hand over the baby, so I can fuck it hard." Phoenix punched Apollo and Apollo fell out the open window in the room.

Chapter 9: Ninja Plans His Escape

Ninja had officially been in prison for a week now. Nobody would defend him. He cried all day and night, until one day, he had an idea. He decided to break out of prison, but first he needed some people to do it with. So, during lunch, he gathered his new gang. It consisted of Sonic the Hedgehog, a default skin, and Isabelle from Animal Crossing. They needed to hatch a plan now to break out. They stole a map of the vents from a cop taking a smoke break. "Now, look here: that area is our ticket out of this shithole, but we need to be able to open the vents. Anyone here know how to take someone out and steal something?" Ninja asked his gang. Isabelle raised her hand. "I got convicted for attempted murder, so I know how." Ninja frowned. "Yeah, ATTEMPTED." he said. Sonic was the next volunteer. "W-well, I could RAPE the cop, I know how to succesfully do that." he said. Ninja's frown turned upside down, and let Sonic take the job.

Chapter 10: Okay, Phoenix Has A Fucking Problem

Trucy was now pissed. "What the FUCK, dad!" she exclaimed. "You are the fucking worst person I've ever fucking met. You've fucking ruined my childhood, and just made my entire fucking life shitty. YOU are the ass here. And you wonder why Mom left you, goddamn it! I'm calling the fucking cops. I can't take it anymore." Trucy dialed 911, and the cops soon came and took Phoenix away. Burger was now safe, but the same couldn't be said about Apollo who had just been taken back into the hospital in an effort to save his life. Reggie needed Apollo, so Trucy truly hoped he'd get better. Reggie was a friend they counted on, and who counted on them.

Chapter 11: Ninja Does An Oopsie

Reggie sat down at lunch in prison, with his tray. He happened to be at a table next to Ninja's, and overheard a conversation about his escape plan. Reggie decided to tell the guards, as this may be a way to shorten his sentence, if he is convicted. The guards proceeded to beat Ninja to the ground, and shot him multiple times with their Nerf guns. Ninja seemed to be dead. They quickly rushed Ninja to the hospital, which happened to be the same that Trucy, Apollo, and Burger were at. Ninja was suffering a lot. He couldn't talk, except for the "fuck you" he managed to get out while passing Trucy and Burger who were on their way to Apollo's room. Apollo wasn't doing great himself. He was out, like a light, ayy, yeah. Like a light, ayy, yeah. Like a light, yeah, slept through the flight. It seemed as if all hope was lost. Back in prison however, something was going to change. Reggie was decided to be innocent, and freed from prison. Trucy got the call on her cell phone and decided to pick Reggie up from prison. She saw Ninja in the hallway, and he was grinning creepily. He pulled out a Nerf gun, which he seemed to have taken from a guard. The darts started flying everywhere and Trucy ducked. She got shot in the arm once, but she decided she could make it until the shooting ended. Police came to the scene to find Ninja holding 10 nurses hostage, and a baby. That baby just so happened to be Burger. Burger was supposed to be in Apollo's room being taken care of by the doctors. Trucy saw this and her heart dropped. She asked a cop for a Nerf gun, and they luckily had a spare. She snuck in from behind Ninja by getting through the window behind him and shooting him in the back of his head. Ninja fell to the ground instantly, and blood and brains were everywhere. Trucy walked out of the room, and handed the cop his Nerf gun back. Trucy was now a hero. Reggie was even there, as a cop brought him there.

Chapter 12: The End...

Apollo was healing quickly, and so was Trucy. Burger was asleep during the whole shooting, so she didn't have any nightmares about it. And Reggie, well, he disappeared. He managed to find a portal back into the real world, and that's where this trilogy ends. Thank you for reading my life story, I'm your host Reggie Fills Anime, and I truly, truly, cannot wait to drop off the battle bus and meet some of you in the battlefield in Fortnite.

The End