Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

A.N. I wrote this back in September but did not post it because it is kind of dark and I did not think I did a good job. After reading about Sgt. Ryan Russell's death in Toronto and then getting an email with an article about how 10 officers were shot within 24 hours in the U.S. and at least two were killed, I decided to go back and fix this up as a tribute to the officers who know the danger, yet go to their job everyday to protect us.

Sam sat down at his desk and groaned as he tackled the paperwork. He knew why Frank had placed him on desk today; his head was not in it to be out on the streets.

After a while, he found his rhythm and began plowing through the paperwork. It had been a while since he had actually filed his own paperwork, whenever there were no rookies to do it, he and Andy were partnered and Andy normally did it.

He was almost finished with the stack when he looked up and sighed.

She was standing, leaning against the wall, looking into an empty room. Normally the room was a hub of activity but today it was silent.

Sam stood and went to her, pulling her to him. "Andy" he whispered "you shouldn't be here".

Andy looked at him with tears in her eyes. He saw that she was not wearing any makeup. "Why?" she whispered.

Sam looked around. He knew she was not questioning his words, rather, she was asking a question of her own. Most people were avoiding the barn today so there was no one around but the two of them and the rookies who were on desk duty. He pulled her to him in a brief hug before leading her out of the building.

Behind 15th division was a small park with a few benches. This park was specifically built with the division in mind: sometimes after a long day officers just needed a few minutes to calm themselves.

Sam sat her on one of the benches. He knelt next to her and held his hands in her own, stroking them gently. He knew she would talk when she was ready. After a minute, she pulled his hands. He took it as a sign and sat down next to her, pulling her close.

"Why Sam?" The tears continued flowing down her cheeks. "Out of all of the people, he was the one that I never worried about. He was never in the line of fire." She hit his chest. "How did it happen?"

Sam held her close, rocking her gently. "He was called down for a homicide. The building wasn't searched properly and there was a second gunman."

Andy hiccuped. "It's a dream. A bad dream. Wake me up Sam."

"I wish I could sweetheart. I really wish I could."

He let her cry for a few minutes in silence before speaking. "He would hate this you know."

Her tears ceased as she looked at him. "How would you know? You two hated each other!"

Sam wiped her tears. "Andy, we didn't hate each other. Did he ever tell you the story of Zoe Martinelli?"

Andy shook her head. "He only mentioned that he was on a task force in her name."

Sam nodded. "She was killed on her day off but everyone suspected foul play because of a case she had been involved in. Her main TO told Boyko he was taking early retirement and leaving because he felt guilty.

"Boyko was a TO short. He knew I was going to go undercover within a year so he split up the Shaw and Swarek team early and made Oliver a TO. When headquarters sent their homicide detective to 15th, I was the only one free. We worked together closely for almost a year until I went undercover."

"But…"

Sam placed a finger on her lips. "He learned about me, about Sarah, and my coloring outside the lines. I learned about his childhood, his strive for perfection, and his tendency to pick a different rookie every year."

"So when you warned me…"

"It was because he told me and I didn't want to see you getting hurt. Andy, you were the reason that there was tension between us. But, you should just know, after you broke up, he realized that he loved you like a sister."

Tears began falling down her cheeks again. "And I loved him like a brother. Now he's gone."

Sam gently caressed her hand, smiling slightly as he touched the diamond ring on her left hand. "He came to me, you know, and threatened me. He said that he would hurt me if I hurt you."

Andy let out a choked laugh. "He did? And I didn't even get to say goodbye." She buried her head in his chest.

"I'm sorry love, I really am. He will be missed by all. He loved you; just keep that love within you."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Sam's phone brought them out of the fog they were encased in. "Swarek."

He listened for a minute and then cursed. "Thank you for letting me know." He hung up and looked at Andy. "His biggest secret was that he thought he let Zoe's killer get away. He always blamed himself even though everyone told him it wasn't his fault."

Andy looked confused. "He never talked about it."

"He kept it inside and tried to put on a front that he had moved past it but he didn't fool those who worked closely with him on the case.

"Frank just called. With his death, he ended up catching Zoe's killer. The man will go to jail for life, having killed two of us. The fingerprints match the ones on the scene from Zoe's murder." He put up a hand to halt her protests. "It doesn't make it any better. But it is something."

They sat for a few more minutes before Sam stood. "Come. I need to get you home. You probably haven't eaten anything since it happened yesterday." He held out his hand to her.

Andy took his hand but didn't stand. "Sam?"

He looked at her. "What's wrong?"

She looked down. "If…"

He sat down again. "If what sweetheart?"

"If we have children –"

"When, Andy."

"When?"

"When we have children. Not if we have children. And yes, if you want to, we will name our first son after him." He stood again and pulled her up with him.

"Thank you" she whispered "for that reassurance, for everything."

A few days after the funeral, Sam woke to find Andy crawling back into bed. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked sleepily. She had put up a strong front at the funeral but he worried about her.

Andy pulled his arms around her. "Remember that conversation that we had on the bench a few days ago?"

Sam nodded.

"Well, I think we need to change the future tense to present tense."

Sam stared at her. When he finally processed the meaning, he kissed her gently. "You okay?"

Andy nodded. "Just morning sickness." Tears filled her eyes. "I wish he would have been here."

"So do I, Andy, so do I." He held her close as she cried again for someone who was dear to her that would not be there to see her child grow up.

A.N. Let me know what you think! And yes, I purposely did not write the name of the person who was killed in my story.