Dear Lissa,

I spoke with Christian the other day; I mentioned about writing you a letter and he thought it was a good idea. I know you are really busy and you don't get a lot of spare time that is why I decided a letter might be the better way to speak with you. I just want to let you know how I feel about all of this, about everything and maybe if you want to afterwards when you're not busy we can talk.

I really want us to work things out, but I know it's not going to be easy on either of us, anything written in here is about how I feel. I honestly don't know how you feel about all of this but it has to be a major shock for you, it was for me as well and then the attack happened, I got shipped off for my safety and we never got a chance to talk.

I never knew Eric, I knew of him but I never knew the man he was. In a way I resent him for that, he denied my existence for 15 years and still then the truth only came out after his death. He never tried to have anything to do with me; I grew up an only child not knowing who my real father was because I was his dirty secret. He never fought to see me, he just paid my mother money to look after me and that was the end of it. My mother isn't that scary of a woman, if he truly wanted to see me he would have fought harder. I missed out on knowing both you and Andre and now I will never get the chance to know him nor my father. I will only ever have the stories I have been told, but I can't help but feel a part of me lost because I never got to meet either of them.

I also cannot forgive Eric for what he did to your family, how he can cheat on your mother and know of my existence and still he lied, I'm sorry if that hurts you, because he was probably a great father, but that is my only impression of him that I have, that is all I know of him. I really do hope that he was a great father to you and Andre though. I have a step-father, he is great and was there for me growing up, but I still knew deep down that though HE was my father he wasn't my blood.

I want us to work through this, I want us to be sisters, I want for us to work through the issues that are be between us. I don't know how you feel, but I keep getting the feeling that you're avoiding me, that you don't want to sort through it all, that I'm a disgrace to your family. I want you to know that I am doing all of this for you, for your family, I don't want the title but I'm still doing this all for you. You deserve this all and I want you to be queen, you will be great and be known for bringing so much good change to the Moroi world.

I'm going to end this, it probably makes no sense I've been having an off day and I just needed to get all of this out while I could. It could be emotions, it could be Adrian's darkness.. I don't know. I'm sorry if any of this upset you, but I think it needed to be said. Write back, come find me or let me know when your free so we can talk, please. .

Jill.

Aftermath of the letter:

Jill had been back at the Royal Court for a few weeks, she was back in her Moroi schedule and doing her studies with a tutor instead of going back to St. Vladimir's. Things were still tense there even though Lissa had managed to get the law's changed to make any attempts on her life worthless, it still didn't put her at ease much.

She had spent a lot of time over the few weeks of being back trying to get a chance to talk to Lissa, to see if they would talk about everything and try and form some kind of relationship between them, but to no avail. Lissa was always in a meeting or she was at a lunch with someone, that Jill quite often got dragged along to, but a lunch topic of their father's infidelity in front of others wasn't exactly on the cards. She waited and waited hoping that one day her sister would come around and they would try to sort things out.

In the end it was a conversation and a promise she made to Christian that gave Jill the push to take the first step. She had promised her friend that she would write a letter to Lissa explaining how she felt about everything, and if she did this, he promised to write to his aunt. She figured if he had the courage to confront that part of his life then she could confront her sister.

She had left the letter with Lissa's receptionist, not wanting to interrupt her meeting, nor face her when she read it. In a way she wished she had of been a little nicer in the letter but there was nothing she could do about it now, she had left it there hours ago and by now it would hopefully have been read.

Jill was sitting on her bed listening to music as she read through her assignments for her next tutor lesson, when a knock came at the door. Placing her book down on her bedside table she got up to answer the door.

Lissa stood there with Jill's letter in her hand, Jill panicked a little but stepped out of the way so let her in. The older girl stepped in slowly and closed the door behind her; she was nervous but still stood there strong. "I guess we should talk…" she spoke and moved over to the small couch that Jill had in her room.

Jill stood still in her room unable to look at her sister, she was panicked that she had upset her. Lissa spoke up again. "Jill please come sit over here, I'm not going to go off at you I just want to talk about this okay?" Jill timidly nodded and moved to sit on the couch next to her. As she sat she looked over at the older Moroi. "I'm sorry if I upset you with the letter, I just… I had to get it out."

Lissa sat there looking at the letter in her hands. "I had no idea you felt like this, I don't want you to think I was avoiding you. Well in a way I was I guess, I keep trying to not think about it but I guess that just made things worse." She sighed and placed the letter on the table in front of her before turning and looking at Jill.

"I want this to work out, I don't think you're a dirty little secret of my – our family. What our father did was unforgivable, but we can't change the past, we can only work on our future. He was a good father to Andre and I, but I wish now that he had of been honest about you, I would have grown up with a little sister then."

Jill spoke up then, trying to keep her cool. "He had fifteen years though Lissa, I can't get over that. I know my mother kept it a secret too, as did Sonya. They should have told the truth, but mom was just trying to hide me from this life."

"I know he had a long time to tell the truth, but he didn't. Whether it was because he couldn't dare admit his fault or that your mother wouldn't allow it or both, we can't change that." Lissa spoke with a strong voice, yet deep down it all still pained her. Her father, the man she always looked up to was not the man she thought he was, he was a liar and a cheat and as a result of that she now had an awkward relationship with her sister.

Jill looked up at her sister and quietly asked. "Was he a good dad?" she had always wondered that, even with her thoughts against him and how much she loved the man that raised her as his own, she always wondered how it would have been to have grown up with Eric as her father, with Andre and Lissa as her siblings; Spending holidays with them as well as holidays with her mother.

Lissa smiled at the younger Moroi. "He was, well from everything I knew of him he was a great father. I always looked up to him, as I did with my brother. I guess the thing about growing up is that you soon learn the truths about people you admire."

Jill responded with only a small smile. She knew all about learning the truths about people you admire, it had happened with Rose after the incident that left the young girl with a spirit bond with Adrian. She had experienced all of the pain and suffering he went through after Rose had cheated on him. She realised then that Lissa's mother would have felt the same as Adrian if she had of known the truth, that there probably wouldn't have been a happy family that Lissa grew up with and she would have been part of that cause.

"Maybe it all worked out like this for a reason, I mean look at you. If things had of been different back then who is to say that you would be Queen now."

Lissa smiled at her. "I guess you're right. I don't have anything that important to do for a few hours, how about you and I go shopping, and you know being royalty around here gets you the good stuff at the boutiques." She figured it was a good chance to try and spend time with Jill, to get to know the girl that was her only family now.

Jill gave a huge grin. "Really?" she spoke eagerly and Lissa chuckled and nodded. Jill jumped up to grab her handbag off her desk and made her way over to the door as she smiled over to the other girl. "Well are we going or not?" she joked.

Lissa laughed and made her way over to the door. "Let's go… oh and one other thing before we leave. If darkness ever gets too much for you, or even just a little you have to tell me or Adrian or even Christian. We're here to help you and you can't go through that alone."