Okay. Pretty corny summary, I know. So here it goes again. Hogwarts has
been abducted by celebrities and strange people while the rest of the staff
are just…gone I guess. See how life is like at Hogwarts with the new
staff…
Chapter One:
As the three musketeers (Harry, Ron, Hermione) got off the Hogwarts Express, they realized something had gone terribly wrong at Hogwarts. Instead of seeing Hagrid leading the first years to the lake to go to the castle, he was replaced by a skinny white boy with blond hair.
"Harry, why've stopped?" Ron asked, bumping into Harry.
"Who the hell is that guy?" Harry asked, worriedly.
"Huh? Oh, I bet he's the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher," Hermione said.
"Don't tell me he's a Lockhart clone," Ron said, pathetically.
"Shut up, Ron. If you two are so curious to know who he is, then go ask him!" Hermione demanded.
"Forget it. I bet Dumbledore'll tell us who he is at the Feast," Harry said.
"I give it two weeks for Hermione to fall for him," Ron whispered to Harry.
"I give it a week and a half."
The three of them got out of the carriage used by second years and up, and rushed to the Great Hall.
"Holy Buckets!" Harry said.
"What!" Hermione and Ron asked in unison.
"Where the bloody hell is Dumbledore, Hagrid, McGonagall, Snape and the rest of the damn staff?" Harry asked.
"Who the hell is that pretty boy in Dumbledore's seat?" Ron asked.
"Who ever he is, he is quite handsome," Hermione blushed.
"Oh shut up!" Ron said.
"If everyone could take a seat, I'd give you the answer to all your puzzled faces," the pretty boy spoke up.
"Oh bloody hell, he's American!" Ron spoke.
"Hey, I know who he is!" Hermione said.
"What?"
"Yeah, he's muggle. He's…"
"Thank you for all taking your seat," the blond interrupted Hermione. "I am Justin Timberlake, your new headmaster. You…" Justin stopped and squinted at a book entitled 'Wizard Talk For Dummies'. "You muggles might know me as the cute and stunningly handsome, egotistic, hair maniac "hottie" from the boy band *NSYNC. As for you wizards, I am the cute and stunningly handsome, egotistic, hair maniac "hottie" from the muggle boy band *NSYNC."
Everyone stared at him with a baffled and confused look. "Anyway, let me introduce your new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, Lance Bass. And your new Potions teacher, JC Chasez, your Charms teacher, Cartmen from South Park, your Divination teacher, Britney Spears, your Arithmancy teacher, Timmy from South Park, Muggle Studies, Alf, Ancient Ruins with Mayor McCheese, Broomstick and Flying lessons with Obi Wan Kanobi and your new gamekeeper and Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Jimmy from South Park. You have three new classes. They are: Archery with Professor Legolas Greenleaf, Dance with me, Justin Timberlake, and Drama with Professor Chasez (sighs) again. You also have Herbology with Mr. Mackey, Transfiguration with Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy, and Astronomy with Kenny, from South Park. Your new nurse will be Mandy Moore, librarian will be the band camp girl from American Pie, and your caretaker is Joey Fatone."
How's it so far? Pretty corny, huh? Don't worry; I'll make it better somehow. Sorry and no offense to y'all *NSYNC lovers or nothing cuz I like them too, a little. You will only get the part about Cartmen, Obi Wan, Alf, and Mayor McCheese if you watched SNL (Saturday Night Live) with Josh Hartnett. And yeah, Legolas is in 'Lord of the Rings'. I put him in there because I wanted to. What? The guy who played him in the movie was HOT! You don't have to review how corny this story was.
Chapter One:
As the three musketeers (Harry, Ron, Hermione) got off the Hogwarts Express, they realized something had gone terribly wrong at Hogwarts. Instead of seeing Hagrid leading the first years to the lake to go to the castle, he was replaced by a skinny white boy with blond hair.
"Harry, why've stopped?" Ron asked, bumping into Harry.
"Who the hell is that guy?" Harry asked, worriedly.
"Huh? Oh, I bet he's the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher," Hermione said.
"Don't tell me he's a Lockhart clone," Ron said, pathetically.
"Shut up, Ron. If you two are so curious to know who he is, then go ask him!" Hermione demanded.
"Forget it. I bet Dumbledore'll tell us who he is at the Feast," Harry said.
"I give it two weeks for Hermione to fall for him," Ron whispered to Harry.
"I give it a week and a half."
The three of them got out of the carriage used by second years and up, and rushed to the Great Hall.
"Holy Buckets!" Harry said.
"What!" Hermione and Ron asked in unison.
"Where the bloody hell is Dumbledore, Hagrid, McGonagall, Snape and the rest of the damn staff?" Harry asked.
"Who the hell is that pretty boy in Dumbledore's seat?" Ron asked.
"Who ever he is, he is quite handsome," Hermione blushed.
"Oh shut up!" Ron said.
"If everyone could take a seat, I'd give you the answer to all your puzzled faces," the pretty boy spoke up.
"Oh bloody hell, he's American!" Ron spoke.
"Hey, I know who he is!" Hermione said.
"What?"
"Yeah, he's muggle. He's…"
"Thank you for all taking your seat," the blond interrupted Hermione. "I am Justin Timberlake, your new headmaster. You…" Justin stopped and squinted at a book entitled 'Wizard Talk For Dummies'. "You muggles might know me as the cute and stunningly handsome, egotistic, hair maniac "hottie" from the boy band *NSYNC. As for you wizards, I am the cute and stunningly handsome, egotistic, hair maniac "hottie" from the muggle boy band *NSYNC."
Everyone stared at him with a baffled and confused look. "Anyway, let me introduce your new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, Lance Bass. And your new Potions teacher, JC Chasez, your Charms teacher, Cartmen from South Park, your Divination teacher, Britney Spears, your Arithmancy teacher, Timmy from South Park, Muggle Studies, Alf, Ancient Ruins with Mayor McCheese, Broomstick and Flying lessons with Obi Wan Kanobi and your new gamekeeper and Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Jimmy from South Park. You have three new classes. They are: Archery with Professor Legolas Greenleaf, Dance with me, Justin Timberlake, and Drama with Professor Chasez (sighs) again. You also have Herbology with Mr. Mackey, Transfiguration with Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy, and Astronomy with Kenny, from South Park. Your new nurse will be Mandy Moore, librarian will be the band camp girl from American Pie, and your caretaker is Joey Fatone."
How's it so far? Pretty corny, huh? Don't worry; I'll make it better somehow. Sorry and no offense to y'all *NSYNC lovers or nothing cuz I like them too, a little. You will only get the part about Cartmen, Obi Wan, Alf, and Mayor McCheese if you watched SNL (Saturday Night Live) with Josh Hartnett. And yeah, Legolas is in 'Lord of the Rings'. I put him in there because I wanted to. What? The guy who played him in the movie was HOT! You don't have to review how corny this story was.