Hello, my darling readers. I'm back, after a rather long time on hiatus. I've been busy with school, college applications, health issues (I've been sick ever since two days after Thanksgiving until three days ago), and working on my novel (I've ben talking to a publisher and finishing up the editing process), so life's been fairly hectic as of late. But I'm back in time for Yullen week, though I'm a little late...oh well.
This drabble is written for the 1st theme, Halcyon. Enjoy!
Warnings: mentions of a homosexual relationship (duh), mentions of gay sex (non-explicit), angst
Disclaimer: As much as I love D. Gray-Man, I don't own it-DGM is the property of Hoshino-sensei.
Halcyon-a period of time in the past that was idyllically happy and peaceful
Pain was their constant companion, with rage and sadness close behind. Only the briefest glimpses of happiness managed to find them, before the short interludes would be brushed aside by the endless battles that always resulted in destruction and frequently, the deaths of civilians and comrades. The enemy never rested, and it was their duty to destroy them to prevent even more casualties.
The never ending cycle of violence and misery left numerous scars carved across the flesh of the younger male, as Kanda's regenerative ability prevented scars from staying, but both of them were far more scarred inside, riddled with the marks left by the harshness of war and the less than ideal lives they had led before officially taking up the Rose Cross. The brutality that they endured, whether casual or deliberate, left indelible scars on their minds and hearts. And by the very nature of scars, little by little what once was became warped and gruesome to behold.
Among the countless marks littering the landscapes of their minds, the deepest of them continued to fester, rotting and oozing the darkness from within to contaminate their respective psyches whenever they were left vulnerable for a moment in time. They had their respective defenses, in the form of walls built by distrust and denial of humanity for the elder and in the form of an ever present smile, like a porcelain mask of Thalia* permanently affixed to his features to hide the roiling emotions and troubles swirling just below the surface.
At night, memories of the past intermingled with the emotions of the present and the apprehension for what lay ahead, bringing forth nightmares that refused to give them peace whenever they closed their eyes to rest. One simply hid his unease, ignoring the dark circles beneath silver eyes and the haze of exhaustion that dogged his every waking moment-the bone deep weariness of one who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders, having seen and experienced far too many atrocities to count despite his youth. His counterpart released his troubles through anger, the energy of his rage fueling him in his endeavors to improve himself as a warrior, and when a counterbalance was needed, he would meditate, cleansing his mind of all thoughts to achieve a relaxed and calm state of being.
When their burdens became too heavy to deal with alone, they took them out on one another, with passion at both extremes driving their actions. Bodies connected, driven by anger, lust, or a mixture of both. In the moments afterwards, they lay beside one another, resting their aching bodies and gasping for breath as they wiped the sweat from their foreheads. And in the aftermath, they found the closest thing to peace that they could manage, as they remained in a mutual, understanding silence. It was imperfect and easily shattered, but in that evanescent period of grace was their glimpse of Elysium- their halcyon moment just for the two of them.
It was bound to end badly, they both knew that from the start, but they promised never to regret their arrangement, because they knew the risks of what they were getting in to when they decided to go ahead, and restraint be damned. Because in the end, it was what they had, their private haven from the chaos and turmoil that dragged at their heels with ever-increasing urgency. In the wake of the storm of their mutual passion came the closest thing to happiness they could achieve in their fucked-up lives, and until the end it would be their jealously guarded secret.
*Thalia was the Ancient Greek Muse of Comedy. The laughing mask motif frequently seen in the theatrical arts is a symbol of her art, accompanied by the frowning mask, which symbolizes her sister Melpomene, Muse of Tragedy.
Thank you for reading. Flames will be ignored or deleted, though constructive criticism is allowed. Please review, I do like to know what you all think about my writing.