I do not own Casualty or any of the characters. All credit goes to the BBC there.
Please let her be okay...
It was the only thought that went through Jay's head as he watched Nick roughly applying CPR. It was Polly, his Polly. He never thought he'd ever say that, ever want to, not after they broke up. But all he wanted was for her to be okay, to pull through. He'd never let her go again.
Me and you, we'll give it another go.
It was the last thing he said to her, as her eyelids fluttered and she lost consciousness. As he attempted in vain to wake her up again, make her listen, to stem the blood flow that seemed to be unstoppable. Every second that passed felt like an hour.
I'm sorry.
I want to be with you forever.
I love you.
That was what he should have said. Every time Mr. Jordan shocked her with the defibrillator, it felt like a stab in the heart. He wished it were him instead of Polly, lying on the table, on the brink of death. He would do anything to save her.
"There's a hole in her left ventricle."
The words, spoken by Nick, were the only words he'd actually taken in since he found Polly. He felt a pain in his chest, growing with every single second. He hadn't expected it to be that bad. He had seen it before, a tear in the heart, and the patient hadn't survived. His body went numb. She couldn't die, she couldn't.
Mr. Jordan was pulling at the damaged skin, trying to stitch the tear, to save his colleague. It took all the strength Jay had not to push him away, tell him not to hurt Polly. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the image before him. All he saw was Polly's face, memories of a time he didn't want to think about.
They were sat in the corner of the 70's diner, eating ice-cream and flirting shamelessly. Jay lifted the cherry off the top of his ice-cream, and lovingly fed it to Polly. They collapsed into fits of giggles. Jay wasn't usually the romantic type, it seemed so strange...
It hurt. Even though it was a good memory, it reminded him of the woman in front of him, who didn't deserve to die.
Nick was shocking her again, this time with the internal paddles. Despite protests from the other doctors, he wasn't giving up.
"Mr Jordan, that's enough..." Surprisingly these words came from Jay's mouth. He couldn't stand the thought of Polly being in pain any longer. Brushing a stray tear from his cheek, he turned and slowly walked out.
All the things he should have said. Now he never could.
I know it's short but hey :) Please review, who knows, I might even write a fic where Polly survives ;) [Well I'll probably do that anyway, but still.. :P] :)