I don't remember much about my childhood. What I do remember is that I always did what I was told not to. I grew up in a family that cared for nothing but it's pride.
I remember kids of my mum's "friends" and family playing a game, they just played a perfect little family. I never got the game. You can still have your own family when you grow up right? and why were all the girls big sisters and mothers? Why couldn't one of the disgusting little pink doll alike girl play a father or a dog? I ignored the playing kids and went searching for spiders. Spiders are cool and outcasts like me. I already found them cool when I was just a little girl who wore the pink dress like she was told. I remember my mum yelling at me for not playing with the other girls. I got that. She wanted me to make friends, at least that's what I thought. but why did she get mad when I told them i'd be the dog in their little families? I didn't have to do anything if I was a dog. No, we had to make a perfect family, where all the girls were sisters and mothers. We were so young back then already brainwashed into thinking getting fake pride and fake loving families was the only purpose in life. Just like our mothers as they sat proudly looking at us. Ready to whine and gossip about their friends to their husbands. That was normal life.
But as I got older I found out my mum also grew up like me. She became one of the brainwashed girls like the girls I was ordered to play with. She expected me to be the perfect big sister like the one we used to play. It's funny how that messed up game resemble's real life so much. My dad is always gone, my little sister raised so 'well' she's almost losing her own soul, my mum and me , the girl that was banned from playing with her best friends from young age. Audra and naruto. Both hated by the village. Outcasts, misfits, my perfect friends. Audra's dad left when her mum was pregnant. The sweet and beautiful lady has been called a harlot ever since. Even as a kid I knew better. I had a brain unlike a lot of other high ups. So I sneaked out, telling my mum I was playing with other high kids. Instead Audra, naruto and I went to play and make trouble. We went to this bar, a rock bar. Outcast and musicians. We'd call there all the time, the elders would give us soda and learn us how to play the guitar. I felt at home, I felt like me. My home was there, not the villa I would go to, to get scolded about messing up my dress. If only my mum knew. I didn't wear the light pink or blue dresses my mum gave me. I pulled out a dress I had for on funerals and cut off the lower part. Audra gave me pink sneakers I wore until they were full off holes.
My mum hated me. She wanted a different kid. She found me a witch.I did have the symptoms, I love black cats and spiders, I live in my own world and I don't believe what others believe. So I didn't blame them. I was different. They still took care of me right? They fed me, they gave me a roof above my head. Which I learned to respect, since people at our bar told us they didn't. Mum said homeless people are bad. They're not. But little did I know my pretty face was the only thing keeping me from being an orphan.