Of the Shadows

by nightoasis

An attempt at a Remus poem as he struggles with some "issues"

Disclaimer: A poem for Remus, the wonderful person that JK Rowling has put in my head.

I wear a cloak.

Not a warm one,

to wrap around me like an embrace.

Not a beautiful one,

to strut around in.

Not a billowing one,

to make you remember.

I wear a cloak of the shadows

to hide the deeper darkness that swells within me.

As heavy as my cloak is,

As much as it smothers me,

scratches me,

gnaws at me,

I cannot let it down.

I wear the cloak of a normal boy.

It is the knowledge of what I am not that haunts me.

Of the things I lost before I had the chance to find them.

Of the lies I have to tell you.

If I was to stand naked before you,

Cloak thrown on the floor,

Would you only see my dark scar?

Or would you know me?

Love me?

Have me?

I cannot risk it.

The hurt.

The hurting.

I pull my cloak closer to me,

Against the harsh blow of possibilities and wants,

And wish for a dreamless sleep.