(REVISED CHAPTER)
Why yes you did read that giant disclaimer right. I have revised this chapter and plan on revising a few more!
Hello Hello all! Back again! But this time, I come with Lord of the Rings! I love Lord of the Rings and this is my first humorous fanfic that I have up and running. I have been wanting to do a Mary-Sue basher for quite some time now and I finally got around to it. I really hope you guys enjoy this. Will post second chapter quickly as well.
~Read, Review, Be Merry~
~Dora~
Chapter 1- Never in A MILLION YEARS
Never. Ever. Ever ever ever ever, in a MILLION YEARS would I have seen this one coming...
Nope.
And yet here I was, sitting in the middle of a forest, suffering from the effects of a busted ass.
"Ugh... My butt hurts..." I groaned. I looked down at my jeans and saw a few grass stains on them. I then began to try and scrub some of the dirt and grass off. My jagged bangs hung in my face, but that wasn't anything new. My Vans were still intact and...
Holy shit.
Wait a second... I don't believe it! I'm still in my jeans, my Vans are still on and my hair is still jagged and dirty blonde. But wait.. Oh god.. I slowly reached up and felt the tips of my ears...
Round.
Human.
SCORE!
"Oh my god yes! Thank the Valar! I'm not a Mary-Sue. No long, flowing dress; no yellow, radioactive, magical hair. I'm still me! Oh hell yes!" I stood up, despite my throbbing tail bone, and did my happy dance, which consisted of snapping my fingers and swerving my body and head. Ever seen Rush Hour? That dance.
That made a thought come up ... It would be hilarious if I taught my favorite characters from Middle Earth how to do that!
"War, huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nooothing~"
But then I stopped...
"Wait a second, how did I get here?..." I talk to myself a lot, in case anyone didn't notice. It does help though.
Anyways I started to pace. I find pacing often helps me think...
"Hmm... lets see... Recap..." Oh yeah! That's right. I remember now... Ohh that perfect, goody two shoes, know it all, B*#$%! Ugh!
Oops... Sorry. You guys are probably wondering about what the hell happened. Well, just sit back and let me tell you, because I remember it all too well now.