Title: Closed Circuits and Loose Nails
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG-15
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I gaining any money for this work. I'm just trying to enjoy myself.
Summary: Sequel to Missing Something. Ianto finally gets some answers to his immortality, but he's no closer to joy.
Closed Circuits and Loose Nails
Ianto has the Doctor and Jack escorted out of his company's premises. He has no interest in discussing things with them. Besides which he is confused by the Doctor's new face and needs to think.
After he died the first time, Ianto had strange dreams. They felt like memories, but they were utterly ridiculous. He had never left Earth for one.
For another he was not of himself. Someone else was using his lips to say words that he would never say in his life or unlife. Someone else was using his hormones and neurons to feel things he did not feel.
Namely whoever it was felt love. Not sexual, not romantic, not paternal. Just… love. Unbending, unyielding, clear sighted love. Ianto had never felt such a thing.
And he certainly did not feel that for the Doctor!
Jack tries to talk to him.
Ianto blanks him out like he is not there. It works because Jack is afraid to touch him.
"Ianto, please. We can work this out. If you just let us try…"
Ianto picks up the phone and dials the number for the new prime minister. He is keeping a nasty, warning, constant eye on the woman.
He had never liked politicians.
"Ianto… let me help you."
"Hello, Prime Minister. Ianto Jones here."
In the dreams Ianto's body is put in a cage, and his mouth cannot stop moving. His voice rambles on and on, but he cannot quite hear what he has to say, because the other thing inside him is so chaotic, so insane that he cannot get past it. Golden light and everything happens at once, but hasn't and has and he is carried off by the onslaught.
Then the Doctor comes and the Doctor is shocked, he is confused, he is delighted. Oh, and angry, very, very angry.
That's when Ianto notices he has breasts.
Not his body then.
Many a strange thing can happen in Torchwood. Many improbable things become commonplace. Still that leaves quite a list of improbable things.
Being literally chased down by a TARDIS is high on the list.
"I don't know why she's doing this!" yelps the Doctor over the comm. as Ianto runs as fast as he can through the streets of Cardiff as the TARDIS bounces off one wall and then the other. It's like a lion and he's a gazelle, and the TARDIS is hungry. "First she crushes you and now she's chasing you, she really mustn't like you at all!"
Ianto ducks and the TARDIS zooms over his head so he can double back and try to get back to Torchwood. Over the comm. he hears something break.
"My teacup!"
In his dreams, Ianto's not-his-body is now falling apart, and the love is no longer a part of him. He is floating away. Everything is golden and calm and he likes it. He can hear the voice that was not-his and hears it speak to the Doctor and the orange one and the pretty one.
"Alive. I'm alive!"
Ianto sips at a bottle of water. It wouldn't do to die of dehydration because the TARDIS hunted him down for hours. He has also given Amy and Rory some refreshments, which they sip at looking deeply uncomfortable. The TARDIS is in front of them, the Doctor having managed to ground her. The doors are open and the Doctor can be heard banging and crashing around and talking non-stop.
"Bad girl! Very bad girl sexy. What do you have against this poor human? I know he doesn't feel right, but you never behaved like this with Jack!"
"No, she just ran to the end of the universe to get away from me."
"Exactly!" The Doctor seems to have missed Jack's bitter tone. "She ran, she did not harm you."
"I still died."
"You were clinging on to the outside in the vortex, of course you were going to die."
"Those two hurt my head." mutters Rory. Ianto glances at the couple. He recognises them as well from his dreams. He wants to know why.
There are many things Ianto wants to know.
Why is he able to come back from the dead?
Why does the TARDIS hate him?
Why did Rose Tyler somehow appear and sleep with him?
Why did she not give him back his joy along with his grief?
And why does Jack not move on?
Unfortunately Ianto knows the answer to the last question, and he doesn't like it one bit.
"Ok!" The Doctor emerges with Jack, a pair of aviator goggles on his head and soot all around his face. "So! We have a man who cannot die-"
"Cannot stay dead." corrected Ianto, deciding that he must at least let these people try to help, or he may never get his answers.
"Right! And the same man is for some reason really disliked by my TARDIS. So far she has crushed you to death-"
"Which sent Gwen into premature labour."
"Will you stop interrupting me?"
"Will you stop dismissing critical facts?"
Jack looks like he wants to laugh. Ianto will punch him if he does.
"All right then clever clogs, what else have I missed?"
"Well, since I died the first time I've had dreams in which I see you, Amy and Rory talking to me. Only it's not me, because I have never, ever had breasts."
The dumbfounded expressions on their faces elicits the strongest desire to laugh he has had since he woke up in his own coffin.
The golden light is frequent between the dreams of the Doctor. He is a part of it, and yet not. He is attached to it and yet is buffeted around by it in a chaotic mess that is not painful, and not even terrifying, but still not good.
It feels more familiar than it should.
"You've seen this face before?" asks the Doctor making such wild gestures at himself he's at risk of slapping himself. Which Ianto is not against.
"Yes. For months I've seen it."
"Why didn't you say so before?"
"… because I would imagine such things would be bad for timelines."
"Oh, yes! Right, of course. Sorry." The Doctor cocks his head to the side for half a second in thought, then leaps at Ianto, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and waving it around. "Now! What happens in this dream with the… the… well you know." He cups his own chest to get the meaning across.
"I'm in a body that isn't my own, and I'm not driving it. Someone else is. Someone who finds tenses almost impossible to keep straight. And found the word alive so sad."
It hurts to speak of it. He may not own the feelings but they still hurt.
"Oh my God." mutters Amy, rising to her feet. "You were in Idris' body?"
"Who's Idris?" asks Jack, looking from one face to another. A moment where Jack knows the least. Ianto would be able to skate across hell today.
"A woman who was filled with the soul of the TARDIS, her body fell apart under the strain but for a while the TARDIS could speak –are you telling me you were in there too?" demands the Doctor, brandishing his screwdriver like a sword at Ianto's nose.
"In between golden lights all around me."
"Golden lights?"
The Golden Lights filled his mind when he slept with Rose Tyler. It was later he realised that they were the same as what he'd been seeing in his dreams.
Only, in his dreams they were unaware of him, he was part of them.
With her, they had been focused on him. They were different like that.
"So you shared Idris' body with the TARDIS? But how'd you do that?"
Ianto has no answer, so he sits behind his desk and stares out the window which opens to the main part of the new Hub, watching his employees meander around. He ignores the Doctor buzzing around his head with the screwdriver. He only gives him his attention when the Doctor's face pushes into his and his eyes stares into his.
"Hmm…" murmurs the Doctor.
"You know I only let people I'm about to kiss get this close to me?" says Ianto in his most dangerous voice. The Doctor's eyes light up with what may be intrigue.
"Oh?"
"Doc! Back off!" hisses Jack. Surprisingly, the Doctor obeys. He examines his screwdriver carefully.
"Have you ever seen the golden light before Ianto?"
"No. Yes. I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"It feels familiar, like… like a building I see every day but never really noticed."
"And where were you born?"
"Cardiff."
"And your parents."
"Cardiff."
"And your-"
"Cardiff!"
"And what's your favourite food?"
"No idea. Can't remember."
"Oh, well…" the Doctor clears his throat looking embarrassed. Then sets down the screwdriver and grins at him. "I think I've figured it out!"
"Why Ianto can't die you mean?"
"No! I mean, yes, but I've figured out the rest of it too."
Ianto raises a dubious eyebrow.
The Doctor, seeing it, sulks, "You could be a little more enthused."
"I await with baited breath."
"Much better! Now! Come and show me your state of the art scanner. It'll help –oh!" The Doctor runs back into the TARDIS and after a few moments of clattering around, during which Ianto pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. His exasperation only increases when the Doctor bounds out wearing a pair of old 3D glasses.
"Now we can go!"
Martha and Gwen join them for the explanation. Ianto had determined it made sense to call them in. That way this would only have to be explained once.
"So! Ianto Jones, born in Cardiff, died in London and somehow spends time in his dreams outside the universe, quite the mystery, quite the mystery."
The Doctor should have been a thespian.
"Now! I bet that if we use this scanner in the right way, we will find exactly what I expect to –Yes! Oh baby there it is!"
Ianto stared at the image of himself surrounded by golden light. He was very tempted to ask if he was an angel. The Doctor looked absolutely fascinated.
"You haven't just been dreaming of that light since you died, you've been dreaming of it since you were a child, only you couldn't remember it because it's all time-wobbly stuff."
"Or timey-wimey." said Martha, looking at the screen in shock.
"Exactly! Now, you said that you were born here, in Cardiff, but you weren't born in a hospital, were you?"
"I was born in my home. My mam preferred home births."
"And I'm betting if we checked, your house would sit right on the crack of the Rift. You were born soaking in Rift Energy."
"Isn't everyone in Cardiff."
"Ah! True, but you are different! Very, very different. You see, because you and Jack were… um… you and Jack, that was a fresh, unique source of Rift Energy put into you."
Gwen blushed.
"Go on." sighed Ianto, closing his eyes and wondering if any dignity would be retained.
"Think of it like a completion of a circuit. One wire was with you when you were born, the other came with Jack."
Now Rory was blushing.
"And?"
"And it basically linked you into the time vortex. But not physically, more like spiritually, if that makes any sense. A part of you is a part of the time vortex and what else does that do?"
"Keep Jack alive?"
"Erm, well, yes, but not what I was going for?"
"Maintain the universe."
"Oh, yes that too but not what I was-"
"Save us an hour."
"It powers the TARDIS you silly boy!"
Ianto frowns and glances up at the TARDIS in his office, "So…"
"So! When you died you didn't just… go like most people do, you fell into the vortex and became a full part of it. But because half that connection was from Jack and his comes from the TARDIS, you became a part of the TARDIS! And because you were still human on some level it was only when she was in Idris that you could perceive it!"
"And the other half?"
"Well, here's where it gets complicated."
"Because so far it's been so straight forward."
"Will you stop interrupting or I'm just not going to explain it to you?"
Ianto raises an eyebrow at him, "Now you really sound like a nine year old."
Only the Doctor gets the reference and visibly bristles and quails at the same time. "Yes, well… anyway! A human can't just exist in the vortex. They're always tied to their bodies, a mind cannot exist without a brain, so you were like a loose nail in the vortex, catching constantly and dragging at it."
"So it sent me back to my body?"
"Yes, but the vortex not only retains Rose's inclinations –otherwise it would have just tried to destroy you –it doesn't have any more control than she did. Especially since your own mind was affecting it."
"Oh was I?" drawls Ianto.
The Doctor stares at him incredulous and then looks around despairingly at the others muttering, "He had a powerful influence over the time vortex and acts like it was as casual as a cup of coffee."
"There's nothing casual about coffee." Ianto can feel a smirk pulling at his lips. It's almost unnatural now. "So, how was I affecting the vortex?"
"Because you wanted to live again, didn't you?"
"Who doesn't?"
"But more than that…" The Doctor is getting awkwardly close again, leaning in and whispering in his ear, "You wanted to come back for him. So he wouldn't be alone anymore."
Something melts inside Ianto and he finally looks at the Doctor with something like wonder. The Doctor meets his gaze and gives him a cracked smile that's more endearing than any of the exaggeration he had displayed so far. Then he pulls back and continues to the group.
"So, the time vortex restored Ianto to life, so he was like Jack. Only, it wasn't able to complete it."
"Why not?"
"Because when it restored Ianto, the part of him in the TARDIS was outside the universe, inside Idris."
There is confusion and not a little fear all around.
"So… what does that mean?" asks Gwen, reaching for Ianto's hand.
"Well, to put it one way, Ianto's soul was split in two."
Ianto inhales deeply and lets it out in a shuddering breath. Gwen's hand curls around his arm. Jack shifts closer, but Ianto shakes his head, pulling away from Gwen too. The Doctor is sympathetic now.
"You've been wandering around with half of who you are missing. You poor creature."
Ianto glares at him. "Wrap this up fast. I have work to do."
"Wait, if Idris carried his other soul half…" starts Rory eyes widening. "Does that mean it went back into the TARDIS when she died?"
Then Amy's face breaks into a wide grin, "Oh my god! The TARDIS is like a Horcrux!"
"A what?" asks Jack. Ianto rolls his eyes, even as his chest tightens in a slow panic.
"All this time, she's been trying to give back to you what is yours. That's why she's been so determined to get close to you. But she's so big and you're so small, she couldn't do it." murmurs the Doctor regretfully. "And that's why you saw Rose. The vortex was trying to return it to you, but couldn't. The TARDIS is linked into it, but not wholly a part of it. She retains her own identity, which you became a part of. The Vortex managed to give you a small part of it back, but not all of it."
Ianto recalls the break down he experienced after meeting Rose Tyler and nods slightly.
"So… does this mean you can give him back what he's missing?" asks Jack hopefully.
"I can't." the Doctor smiles at Ianto who swallows, understanding where he's going with this. "This is between Ianto and the TARDIS."
Ianto glances around at all the hopeful and anxious faces around him and then looks up at the TARDIS again. He sighs.
"I'll need a cup of coffee first."
A/N: As I said in Missing Something, I really don't know where this damn thing came from. And I blame this whole chapter on a bad head cold which makes me loopy, otherwise I doubt I would have thought of this.
I'm also doped up with medicine right now, so if this doesn't make sense I apologise, but I rather liked the idea when it came to me. Maybe in a week I'll see it's utter nonsense.
Will there be more?
Well… it does seem like an awful cliffhanger to leave it at…
Maybe reviews will encourage me ;-)
Night's Darkness