Summary: Temari is acting strange. Is it because of Shikamaru's new powerful jutsu? Gaara and Kankuro are alarmed. Warning: High level of OOCness.
Temari is not a bitch
Rated: T, sexual themes nothing explicit, multiple swearing
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, Temari belongs to Shikamaru
Why, Shikamaru?
"Kazekage-sama."
"No need to be so formal, Temari."
"So what brings you and Kankuro here in Konoha?"
"Thanks Tem. You really make me and Gaara feel welcome."
"You two should have at least sent a letter first."
"And ruin the surprise. No way sister dear."
"Gaara, I expect this from Kankuro but you... you should know better, you can't come and visit without notifying me."
"Why not, Temari?"
"Yeah why not, Tem?"
"Because... because..."
"Because?"
"Shut up, Kankuro!"
"Tem, as your brother it's our obligation to make sure that that Nara is taking care of you."
"Yes, Temari. Kankuro said that how would we know if Shikamaru is treating you right if we announce our arrival."
"Well, I..."
"Temari, why are you crying?"
"I'M NOT CRYING!"
"You are."
"Gaara, I'm not crying."
"I knew it! That Nara! He's not treating you right, isn't he!"
"Kankuro, stop it!"
"Nara better hide because if I see him Karasu will make sure nobody else will again."
"Kankuro, you won't hurt a single strand of hair on my husband's head much less his body!"
"I will and what's more Gaara will help me."
"Wipe that smirk off your face and Gaara won't help you."
"I will, Temari."
"See Tems…"
"Gaara, not you too!"
"Oi! I didn't know your brothers are arriving today."
"Shika."
"Shikamaru."
"Nara!"
"What?"
"Shika, I think you better run."
"Why?"
"I'll explain later."
"Why don't you expl— Alright. I'll run now. Nice seeing you Kankuro, Gaara."
"Gaara, Kankuro now listen."
"If he is not guilty, why did he run away, Temari?"
"Because I told him to."
"Tem, Nara doesn't really listen to you so why would he start now?"
"My husband listens to me."
"No, he doesn't."
"I'll show you he does."
"Go ahead."
"SHIIIKAMARUUUU!"
"Oi, I thought you told me to run."
"See, I told you Kankuro my husband listens to me."
"So Temari, why are your brothers here? Did they hear the news already?"
"Yes, we did. And you Nara Shikamaru are dead!"
"Hey, whadaya mean?"
"Kankuro, let him go. Gaara, not you too. Don't take out your sand from that gourd."
"Temari, wha—"
"It's well... I cried when I saw them."
"Oh that."
"Yes, that bastard. What did you do that made our sister cry?"
"Okay okay. Let me go so I could tell you."
"So you admit it you bastard. I should kill you right now."
"Kankuro!"
"This is troublesome...Kagemane no jutsu."
"Shika, are you alright?"
"Of course, I'm not, woman. Your brothers are trying to kill me."
"Gomen, Shika."
"Okay okay. I'm okay. See?"
"But my brothers tried to kill you."
"Shikamaru, what is wrong with Temari?"
"Don't listen to him, Gaara. He might also do to you what he did to Tem!"
"I wanna know what's wrong with Temari. And I think Shikamaru is the only one who could explain it to us, Kankuro."
"Let me go, Nara."
"I will after you promise you'll listen first."
"Dammit Nara!... Alright!"
"Tch, troublesome...Don't worry Gaara, even you Kankuro. Tsunade-sama said it's normal for Temari to cry."
"IT'S NOT NORMAL FOR TEMARI TO CRY, ASSHOLE!"
"Kankuro, be quiet."
"Gaara, I think Nara's power is now affecting you too."
"You want me to continue or not?"
"Continue."
"Tsunade- sama assured me that it's normal for a pregnant woman to be emotional."
"Pregnant?"
"Yes, Gaara. Temari is..."
"YOU BASTARD I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"
"You won't do that otherwise your niece or nephew won't have a fath—Tch woman, don't cry."
"Kankuro said he's gonna kill you."
"Of course he won't. You won't, won't you Kankuro?"
"Ye— yes Tem. I won't hurt Nara if he promises that he'll take good care of you and ... your kid."
"Thank you, Kankuro."
"Tem, I can't breathe. You have to let go."
"I love you, Kankuro."
"Eh?"
"Temari, I... You...also...me?"
"Yes you too, Gaara."
"Yeah, she cries all the time. She hugs you for no apparent reason. She hits you suddenly. She just clearly becomes more troublesome."
"What did you say, Shika?"
"I said I doubt your brothers would come visit you again without telling us first they're coming."
—o0o—
~10/14,15/10, 6 14 /12 AF U 6 14 12~
A/N new: If this fic appears familiar, it is. This is a repost since FFN took it down last week because of the word 'Bitch' on the title.
Anyway, you can read/re-read the "Gaara hates Shikamaru" fic. That one has tons of what this one lacks 'cause they were conceptualized that way. Aw that proves just how old this fic is ~sighs~.