Disclaimer: I do not own the anime Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Author's Note: I was just trying out a new thing (this is my first fanfic ever; it used to be partially hosted at Adult Fan fiction). Please be gentle with your reviews. I don't own anything from Naruto so don't sue. It's my opinion that Chōji needs more play then he's getting.

The dirty sex will show up in later chapters. Also, excuse typos and what not. I was too lazy to edit.

*** Chōji's Intro***

No one ever wants the big guys. Everyone always wants the slim jims. I mean, I may be big boned but I'm still sexy. Now the trick is getting others to see it.

My name is Akimichi Chōji and I'm 20 years old. Ever since I was born I have lived in the beautiful village of Konohagakure in the peaceful fire country. I weigh 250 lbs, which I admit is heavy for a ninja, but that's only because all the other ninjas are all too scrawny and need to eat more Korean barbeque. Besides, in my family weight isn't a handicap and while I may not look it with my clothes on, my body is all muscle. I'm tired of everyone telling me that I'm fat. Especially Ino. It's gotten worse since that mission where I nearly died. The one where I fought Jirobo of the Sound Four. After she got a good look at me all wasted away to nearly nothing she has been harping non-stop for me to stay slimmed down. She expects me to turn into someone like Uchiha Sasuke. But I'm not Sasuke. I'm not meant to be built like a girl. I'm a man. A big man. And big men need lovin' too.

Now ever since I hit puberty and girls started to become something to drool after and not something infested with cooties anymore all the guys in the village have been unable to talk about anything else. Not me though. I pretend such talk interests me but in reality, it doesn't. I mostly sit around nodding in the right places all the while stuffing chips and sweats into my mouth so I don't have to answer. Why? Because I'm a man in love with another man. With Nara Shikamaru to be exact. I'm sure he doesn't guess my love for him although he has to have figured out that I'm not attracted to women since in all the time we've known each other I haven't once asked a girl out. Or ogled a girl. He at least dated Temari for awhile until the relationship became too much work for him. But we are best friends. He has always been there for me and always stands up for me. Everyone else thinks I'm annoying because of my love of food and think I'm slow and useless because of my girth. Only Shikamaru has confidence in me.

Now how does someone like me put the moves on their best friend when their best friend thinks everything is too "troublesome"? That my friends is the problem.

*** Chōji's POV***

There was a present on my kitchen table. It was wrapped in bright blue shiny paper and tied with a neon green bow. I looked around my kitchen but nothing else was disturbed. Where had the damn thing come from? It wasn't there when I went to take my shower. I know because I had stopped in here to grab a snack on the way to the bathroom. Maybe the person was still in my apartment. I hitched my towel higher on my hips and slicked my damp hair back off my forehead before heading into the living room. And there, on my couch was a slouched Shikamaru. He appeared to be sleeping with his hands tucked behind his head but I knew that wasn't always the case with him. Shika was just lazy. I walked over and kicked his feet off my coffee table. He opened an eye and stared at me.

"So are you finished with all that screeching you were doing in the shower?" He asked before sitting up completely. My face turned red. It was often my ritual to sing in the shower. Usually though no one was in my house to hear it. I knew I was the furthest from a perfect singer, and only my parents had ever heard my showering ritual.

"Oi, Shika. Do you have to be so mean? Singing in the shower relaxes me."

Shikamaru leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. Then he just looked at me. He was always doing that. Just staring and not saying a damn thing. It didn't bother me like it did other people, mostly because I knew how he found meaningless conversation a hassle. So I just stared back.

Then I remembered the present in the kitchen. I turned abruptly to head back into the kitchen and slid on an empty chip bag. I grabbed for the door jam and my towel caught on a stray nail that I'd been meaning to hammer back in. The damn piece of cloth pulled right off me before I crashed to the ground on my back. When I stopped seeing stars I became conscious of the fact that I was lying as naked as the day I was born on the floor of my apartment with the man I loved standing over me.

Now I can't say for certain but I could have swore that he was staring at my crotch with a little blood seeping out of his nose. But that was probably just a combination of the head injury and wishful thinking on my part.

Not that I think that I don't look good naked because I'm not shabby. It's just that Shika has never shown any interest in men so I had no reason to think he was gay. I just hoped he was gay deep down. Well, not really deep down.

"You're so clumsy." He said after a moment, bending down to help me to my feet. "Where were you going in such a hurry?"

"I wanted to open the present you got me. I had just remembered it was still unopened on my kitchen table." I grabbed my towel and quickly wrapped it around my waist again. Being this near to Shika and the smell that was all him was making me a little hard and he didn't need to find out how I felt about him that way. I could just hear that conversation. I'd be standing there with a woody saying 'well shika, I've always loved you and I want to fuck your brains out as you can see. So what do you think about that?' When I looked up after making sure that my towel was secured I noticed that he had a strange look on his face.

"I never got you a present Chōji. I don't know what you're talking about." He peered past me into the kitchen but he couldn't see it from his angle.

Now I was really curious about it. I made it into the kitchen this time without anymore peep shows with Shika right on my heels. We stared at the present for a moment before I ripped off the card that was sticking to the side of it. My name was written in really pretty cursive writing on the front with a blue butterfly drawn below it. Whoever gave this to me knew I loved butterflies. I opened the card expecting it to be from my mom or something, but it wasn't. In fact it was from…

"You have a secret admirer?" Shika said from over my shoulder. He reached over and grabbed the card from me as if the text would change the closer it got to his face.

"Why do you have to sound so surprised about that? I'm sure there are plenty of people who find me sexy." But inside I was mentally scratching my head asking 'who the hell would have the hots for me?'

I approached the present and ripped the paper off to reveal a bakery box from my favorite bakery. Immediately the smell of strawberry cake wafted up to tease me and I pulled the top off. And there, nestled among the whole strawberries, the whipped cream and the strawberry glaze were the words "I love you Chōji!" written in frosting. I sat down heavily onto my kitchen chair and just stared at it in amazement. Someone went through the trouble to leave Konaha and travel to the next village over where the bakery was located and pay the money to get this custom cake made. For me, all for me. Now I really did wish it was from Shika.

In the minutes that I sat there staring at the cake I had totally forgotten about Shika standing there holding the card. At his irritated sigh I looked up at him. He sat the card on the table.

"Chōji, go get dressed. I'll put the cake in the fridge for you. We have to meet Ino before too long so you need to hustle. You know how she gets when we're late." He sighed again.

"Troublesome."

It wasn't until I was in my bedroom that I realized I was a little angry. How could he just stand there and watch me get gifts of love from someone else? Did he really feel nothing for me? And how dare this mystery person send me gifts when I was in love with someone else? I pulled on my black pants and thought about that. It was my fault that this had happened. I had never shown Shika or anyone else how I felt about my best friend so how could I fault them for not acting how I wanted them to? I quickly finished getting dressed, pulling on my shoes and my black shirt with the kanji for "food" on the front of it. Then I checked my hair in the mirror. My shaggy brown hair was getting a little too long and I needed to get it cut again, and I swore that the birthmark swirls on my cheeks were getting a deeper red the older I got. I attached my forehead protector to my right arm before heading out into the living room. Shika was standing near the window with a preoccupied look on his face. I took the moment to study him. He had long black hair that he always wore up with a hair tie and black eyes. He was wearing a black shirt under the green vest of the Jounin, and had on a pair of black pants. He had also moved his forehead protector to his arm. He was shorter than me by a few inches and not nearly as muscular. But he was by no means weak. His family was a family of shadow manipulators and Shika himself had an IQ of over 200. In conclusion, he was a hottie.

He turned to look at me but he was kind of avoiding looking directly at me. He sure was acting strange. Not like him at all. Could it be that he really was bothered by someone else wanting me? Or was bothered by the nudity I had accidentally displayed earlier? The thought boggled the mind. I had a feeling this mission was going to be a little more interesting than it'd be otherwise. The thought made me smile.

***Shikamaru's POV***

How could this have happened? I thought angrily as Chōji left the kitchen to get dressed. The writing on that card had troublesome female written all over it. I wanted to find the girl and tell her that she better find someone else because Chōji was mine. I wanted to pick the cake up and throw it out the window but I knew it would upset my best friend. That kind of cake was his favorite. Clearly the enemy knew how to fight dirty and underhanded. The way to Chōji's heart was through his stomach and this mettlesome girl somehow knew that. I shoved the cake into the fridge before stomping into the living room. I took a stand at the window and glared outside. Somewhere out there was the girl who was trying to take Chōji away.

I must of lost track of time contemplating my next move because after what seemed like seconds I heard movement behind me and knew that Chōji had returned. By the rustle of fabric I knew he had clothes on this time. I had nearly blown something when I had opened my eyes and seen him standing there in nothing but a towel with water droplets still clinging to his muscles. Who would have thought that the man was that perfect under the bulky clothes he insisted on wearing? It had taken everything I had not to stand up and lick the water off his chest. But I didn't want to scare Chōji off this soon and plus if Chōji got angry about it I didn't want to get clubbed on the head with those huge bricks Chōji called hands.

But man, when that towel had come off and I got a good eye full of what he had been hiding in his pants all these years, I had nearly thrown caution to the wind and jumped him then and there. As it was I had to quickly wipe away the start of a nose bleed before his eyes focused and he realized I had it bad for him.

How did I go about winning Chōji? I had never put any effort in winning someone before. Temari and I just kind of got thrown together after she saved my ass fighting the Sound Four Whore and it hadn't lasted long. Somewhere in the middle of the bad embarrassing sex (if you can even call it that) we had both realized that neither of us was straight and gone our separate ways. She was the only one who knew that I was gay. Not even Chōji had figured that out. Temari had been a solid alibi against the question of my homosexuality in the village. Now, I wasn't certain which way Chōji swung because he had never shown any interest in either sex at all during all the time we had known each other, but I was obviously hoping he liked men and me in particular. I'd ask Ino what she thought but having to put up with her after the fact would be too troublesome. She'd never let it go.

I turned to look at Chōji but at the last moment chickened out of actually looking at him because it was too soon. If I stared at him now it's be all over. So I just led the way out of the apartment and headed for the city gates where I knew Ino was waiting. Once in awhile I'd look at him out of the corner of my eye and he'd have the damnedest smile on his face. Could he have figured it out? The thought made me a little tense.

End Chapter One.