AN: Another fun one shot, I like writing Emmett's adventures, and Bella is an easy target. Enjoy! : ) Also Twilight is obviously not mine."They're after us, Bella!"
"What?! Who?!"
"No time, just run!"
Bella sprinted after Emmett, through the forest like twin bullets, yet impossibly faster. The terror on her brother-in-law's face had Bella reeling.
"Emmett, where's Edward, where are the others?"
"No time Bella, we just gotta hope they made it out alive!"
Now she was panicking. What in the name of Mother Teresa could kill all of the Cullen's... unless...
"Emmett... Is it the Volturi?"
Emmett stopped, so suddenly that Bella almost crashed into him.
"The Volturi? No Bella, it's so much worse than that," Emmett replied, looking deep into the golden eyes of his favourite sister.
"It's them."Bella was sure she would have been shaking had it not been for her inability as a vampire.
"What is...them...Emmett?"
With a look of genuine terror in his face, Emmett revealed his biggest fear to Bella.
"They smelled my cashews and they started chasing me, they're planning something, I know it!"
"WHO?" Bella's voice carried through the forest, birds escaping the blast as quickly as possible despite the newly discovered ringing in their ears.
Emmett sighed.
"It's the squirrels Bella."
"The...the squirrels?"
"Yes," Emmett nodded. "They're terrorists. Haven't you seen Rick and Morty? They know that I know that they want to kill everyone. They probably know we're vampires Bella!"
"EMMETT CULLEN! THE SQUIRRELS ARE NOT TERRORISTS. YOU MADE ME RUN TO CANADA...BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED OF WOODLAND SQUIRRELS! WAIT UNTIL I TELL ROSE!"
"No Bella! Don't tell Rose! She thinks I'm a manly man, I gotta let her believe it!"
Bella told Rosalie.
Emmett found a stuffed squirrel under his pillow.
The nuke attack in Cuba surprisingly never took place.
Also, two squirrels in Vancouver were seen sparkling near a bottle of glitter body spray, doing what appeared to be an exaggerated moonwalk, or perhaps some sort of Electric Slide move.