Author's Note: Remember delightisadream's 23-word fic? I feel like that set the standard for uploading short little ficlets. This came to me tonight and I immediately went with it. Enjoy!
Notice: This is a humorous fic involving mentions of sex, Dia in an established relationship, and of course some good ol' Daniel humor. If any of those things are not your cup of tea, that is perfectly fine. All I ask is that you move along and refrain from being rude in the reviews.
. . .
Can't Get It Off by lovethatignites
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"Now, when having sex, it is very important you always use a condom," Nurse Lily explained to the entire female population of Iridium High. Sex Education was generally a freshman class, but considering the private school split up the sexes for this particular course when they already had so few students to begin with, it was easier to take the girls and guys from all grades and give them The Talk each year. The administration figured an annual reminder re: the importance of safe sex wouldn't hurt the older kids. The city of Miami hardly needed any of these teens accidentally reproducing...
A plain brunette in the front raised her hand.
Lily nodded kindly. "Heather B?"
"Um, so, I still haven't... done it yet." She blushed and looked away. "But I was just wondering... what if the guy doesn't know how to use a condom?"
Across the room, Mia inadvertently made a noise in the back of her throat. Emma whipped around and glared at her, as though she was making fun of Heather B for being a virgin or for asking about condoms. If she only knew what Mia was really thinking in that moment...
"Moooom!" Daniel was running through his house butt naked, his miler out and protected. He and Mia had just had sex for the first time, and Mia would say it had gone about as well as a first time could. However, after Daniel had removed himself, he realized he had a slight... problem. The used condom wasn't exactly coming off his equipment. Before Mia could even extricate her clothing from underneath the couch, Daniel had taken off out of his garage and into the hallway, hyperventilating. "Mom, I can't get it off!" he cried. "MOM!"
Lily raised an eyebrow at the Kanay. "Mia? Is there a problem?"
Mia pursed her lips and directed her narrowed gaze toward a tentative Heather B. "You're smart," she told the girl point-blank. "You ask the important questions. And you have nothing to be embarrassed of."
I, on the other hand...