Author's Note: Oops I did a thing even though I should be working on Partnered By Fate. I had to overcome my writer's block somehow, and this was the result.
"I wish that you had stayed. You never gave me a chance."
Santana stared at the draft in her phone for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last hour.
She so badly wanted to send it. It summed up every thing she was feeling in so little words, it was everything she wanted to say without sounding like an idiot.
She wished Rachel had stayed, given her a chance to explain everything.
She wished the girl hadn't jumped to conclusions so quickly, especially because she knew she wasn't that same girl from high school. Neither of them were.
She wished she hadn't have gotten so damn defensive, cruel words she knew weren't true ringing through her ears.
Rachel wasn't awful, she was the complete opposite.
She was kind and caring, always making sure Santana was okay every time she looked upset.
God why did she have to revert back into the closeted bitch she was in high school? She drove away the one true friend she had.
Kurt was still there, but her and Rachel just had a connection. It was a friendship you couldn't fake.
Rachel wasn't afraid to stand up to her anymore, always calling her out and putting her defenses down when they came back up.
Why didn't she notice this time?
Why couldn't Rachel see that she was hurt by the words she had said and fell back into her bitch persona.
Even if she did send the text, she knew it wouldn't bring Rachel back.
The girl was too stubborn, too proud.
Too angry.
Santana sighed and took a swig from the bottle of jack she was cradling.
Kurt had gone to bed hours ago, leaving her to wallow on her own.
She had kept it together, never letting the boy see how affected she was by the tiny singer's absence.
He probably knew though.
Santana was sure he caught her scooping up and taping the pieces of the picture when he got up to use the bathroom.
"Might as well be the pieces of my heart." Santana mumbled to herself, her finger running over the poorly put back together picture.
Truth be told it was one of her favorites.
Sure they had taken more since living together, but this one was different.
It was the first picture they had taken together when they became friends.
It showed how much they overcame through the four grueling years of high school.
It signified how far she had come.
She went from the school slut, to closeted lesbian who was angry and took her feelings out on everyone, to someone who was comfortable enough to be herself.
And she really had the Glee Club to thank for that.
It was just common knowledge that the heart of the club was Rachel, they wouldn't have accomplished much without the driven singer.
Santana sniffled as she thought about the events of the day again.
It was all she'd been doing since Rachel left.
Why hadn't Rachel seen that she didn't audition to steal the spotlight?
Why hadn't the acclaimed psychic seen that she just did it to protect her.
She was looking out for her.
The understudy thrived on the lead being sick, even going as far as making them sick.
Santana was just trying to protect Rachel from all of that.
It was the perfect plan.
Audition for the part, get the part, protect Rachel, prove myself to be more than the girl with the raging yeast infection.
It was so simple and Rachel had just assumed the worst of her.
Santana let a silent tear out, she thought they were past all of this petty shit.
She thought Rachel knew who she really was, how she'd never betray a friend.
She had shown her who her boyfriend actually was, she had gotten her a job, ran lines with her, helped her study for classes, helped with her dancing so Cassie would lay off.
She knew Rachel felt threatened, that's why she had reverted to high school Rachel.
She just wished the upcoming Broadway star had realized what was really going on.
Santana shook her head, she couldn't think about this anymore.
She needed sleep.
She needed Rachel.
The loft was so eerily empty and quiet without her.
The warmth of their once home was gone.
Now it was just cold and lonely.
No longer were there sounds streaming quietly from behind the girl's curtain.
No longer would she shuffle out quietly and cover Santana with an extra blanket and shut the tv off when the girl thought she was asleep.
No longer would they take the bus to and from work together, laughing about something that happened.
Who was she going to complain to when Kurt moved her things around because he hated how she left them everywhere.
Rachel always had her back about it, dismissing the boy saying it was his fault for not wanting to give up room space so Santana would have her own room.
She paused with the bottle half way to her lips, Kurt would expect her to take Rachel's room now.
She couldn't, wouldn't, do that.
No. Rachel was going to come back.
She just knew it.
Drunkenly, Santana unlocked her phone and opened her drafts.
It was now or never.
"I wish that you had stayed. You never gave me a chance."
Santana chugged from the bottle, wanting to forget everything.
Rachel wouldn't reply, not now at four in the morning.
Not ever probably.
Without warning, her phone started buzzing in her lap.
With shaky hands Santana lifted her phone up to see who it was, her mouth going dry as she read the name.
Rach*
Santana felt like she was going to throw up, why was the singer even awake right now?
She hoped it was because the girl was feeling the same way she was.
Sad. Lonely. Regretful.
The chances were slim, but she was taught to always have hope.
Santana slowly unlocked her phone and opened the message.
Two words.
Two words were all it took for Santana to fully break down, heavy sobs racking throughout her body.
She sobbed until she had nothing left.
Until she was so tired she passed completely out cold.
The combination of the alcohol and tears wearing her down.
Kurt awoke bright and early the next morning and made his way out of his room.
The previous day had been taxing, he spent most of the evening keeping an eye on Santana.
He knew the girl would never admit it but he knew she was broken up over the feud.
He didn't want to pick a side, though he felt as if he had.
He felt as if Rachel thought he had also.
He'd text her later and ask to meet up, ask if he could explain himself.
Walking into the living room, he froze at the sight in front of him.
Santana was curled up in a ball on the floor with Rachel's big comforter.
The torn up picture was gripped tightly in one hand with an almost empty bottle of jack, her phone in the other.
Kurt quietly made his way over to the Latina with a frown, he shouldn't have left her all alone last night.
He knew usually when she was sad she'd go to Rachel and the two would cuddle up and eat on the couch until the early hours of the morning.
They'd done it for a week straight when Santana had broken up with Dani, her own fears getting in her way.
He should have offered her the same company.
He knew he'd have to if Rachel never came back.
He just hoped she would. The girls were too close for this silly feud to stop them from being friends.
He slowly pried the bottle from Santana's hands along with the picture, laying both items down on the coffee table with a small smile at the taped together picture.
Kurt turned to the sleeping Latina again, eying her phone curiously.
He had heard it go off early this morning, followed by the gut wrenching sobs that followed.
Carefully he removed the phone from her hand and unlocked it, smirking to himself when he got her password almost immediately.
7649, Snix.
He opened up her messages, his heart fluttering in hope as he read.
"I wish that you had stayed. You never gave me a chance."
"Me too."
It wasn't much, but it was a start.
He knew they would talk more, hopefully today, and Rachel would be back in no time.
The girls would be okay, he just knew it.
Kurt locked the phone and slid in onto the table next to the picture.
Kurt bent down and placed a soft kiss on Santana's head, pulling the blankets up higher around her.
As he was standing up, Santana's eyes fluttered opened.
"Kurt?" She mumbled.
Kurt paused, sitting at the edge of the table. "Yeah?"
"Me and Rachel will be okay, right?" She asked sleepily.
"You guys will be just fine, San. I'm sure she'll be back in no time, singing and dancing around the loft." Kurt said softly.
Santana yawned and snuggled into the comforter, "Good."
Kurt smiled as he watched the girl fall back asleep, Santana Lopez was anything but a bad ass.
He was glad he was given the chance to get to know this Santana.
As he stood in the kitchen making his morning omelette, the door slid open slowly with a tired looking Rachel on the opposite side.
"Hey, Diva." Kurt said with a smile.
Rachel froze, not expecting the boy to be awake yet.
Rachel sent the boy a tired smile, "Hey, Kurt. Where's-"
Kurt pointed toward a lump on the floor, signaling for her to be quiet.
"You let her sleep on the floor? She's going to be so sore." Rachel chastised.
Kurt grinned to himself as he watched Rachel walk to the sleeping Latina and bend down to wake her.
He watched the two interact before they both got up and made their way to Rachel's empty room where her mattress still was.
A few moments later Rachel stuck her head out from behind her curtain.
"We're gonna lay down for a bit and probably talk about everything." Rachel explained, biting her lip.
Kurt nodded, hiding his smile behind his cup. "I'm glad you're back, Diva."
Rachel smiled, "Me too. And I'm sorry about being...me."
Kurt shook his head, "High school you." He corrected.
"Either way, I'm sorry." Rachel said quietly before disappearing behind her curtain again.
Kurt sat back in his seat with a small smile, he knew everything was going to be okay.
Please review if you liked it! I promise to have an update out for PBF out soon!