Disclaimer: I do not own Glee and all that jazz. Spoilers from 2X19-2X20.
It all started when she noticed the fraying on his shirt. It was small, right on the corner edge of his left sleeve of what she knew as Sam Evan's favorite shirt, his red and gray Harley one, but Quinn Fabray saw it and couldn't help but wonder. She would see him around school or practice or church sometimes, you know when she wasn't busy keeping Rachel's claws out of Finn, and if she were being honest, she thought nothing of it. It took her a few weeks to realize how different Sam had become since they had broken up. His face seemed marked by stress and anger and hurt, which she thought was attributed to a relationship with Santana, but when she saw his family at church with the same matching expressions, the feeling in her gut kicked in that it was more.
The first time she asked what was wrong was in the lobby of their church after a sermon. Sam had simply looked at her for a brief moment before walking away, but that look gave away so much that Quinn couldn't back down. He just looked so..so.. so tired, so ready to give up on everything, forcing a smile for his playing siblings nearby. Though Quinn knew her boyfriend may not approve, funny that with his proximity to Berry and all, but her heart ached when she saw her ex like that. That wasn't the same carefree nerdy boy that she had fallen for. She didn't know why she wanted that boy back in her life. She had Finn. That should have been enough.
The second time she asked, Quinn had bumped into the Evans siblings at a local park while fooling around with her own camera, the photography bug biting particularly strong that day. She saw minor flashes of the Sam she used to know as he ran and played with his siblings, uncaring of who saw him goof around as he lifted his brother and sister up off the ground before the two younger blondes erupted in giggles. Quinn couldn't help but snap pictures of this moment, a moment she could feel fleeting with every passing second and part of her wondered when moments like this would happen again. She pondered if Sam could feel the camera's gaze on him and his family and her question was answered when suddenly he stopped and turned to stare directly at her. She felt herself tense as he approached her, the lighthearted Sam gone. When he stood in front of her, his muscular body slightly towering over her petite frame, she asked again, this time her voice never quavering. He didn't, possibly couldn't, keep his eyes on her. His jaw tensed, his eyes still down at the ground with his lips pursed until his little sister Stacy walked over and tugged on his sleeve, asking if they had to go back to the motel now. Quinn felt her face contort in confusion as the embarrassment and anger flashed over Sam's face until he forced it away for the sake of his sister. He gave a quick shake of no, his now long blond bangs brushing into his eyes, before the younger girl ran back to play with her nearly identical brother. For the first time since Quinn's ponderings began, Sam's eyes met with hers and it was as if Quinn suddenly knew everything without a single word being muttered.
Quinn pulled Sam into the nearest park bench, slightly against his will. He slumped into the seat as he began to unravel his family's tale, how they had moved from his childhood home in Tennessee spending all of their savings on the house and the move for a job that seemed to disappear a few months after they had settled in, how they had their house taken, their possessions sold, and were living in a cheap motel as his parents searched for any job that would take them. Quinn listened silently, watching as the range of emotions washed over Sam's flawless face until he leaned back into the chair in exhaustion and turned back to look at her, his face with a hardness she had never seen before.
"You're gonna tell everyone, aren't you?" He asked solemnly, as if he had accepted a fate of being a social pariah from the new school where he was still gathering his bearings.
Quinn shook her head tersely, her own eyes suddenly taking interest in the molting paint of the park bench, before repeating it for him to hear. "No."
Sam's shock was quickly apparent when Quinn looked back up again. Quinn thought she saw something, relief possibly, as the tenseness in his body slowly dissipated. Quinn watched him as Sam's focus became only on his younger siblings playing. Quinn didn't know what possessed her, but without question, she was grabbing Sam's hand, placing it lightly in hers and stroking it softly. Sam's eyes refocused on her and his newly placed hand as Quinn asked only one question.
"What can I do to help?"
Quinn kept Sam's new secret for the first couple of weeks with no problem. She had become a master of hiding things, usually her own secrets and betrayals, but this wasn't hers to hide so she felt no guilt keeping it from others. Quinn hated to admit it, but visiting Sam and his family at the motel had become a calm and comforting part of her day. Playing with Stacy and Stevie while Sam ran errands and worked made Quinn forget about everything going on in her life. Playing with the old Barbies of her youth with the youngest of the Evans brood dragged Quinn away from Prom Queen and Berry and Finn and Glee and Lucy and McKinley. It was as if, for a little while at least, she was 7 years old again and here was someone willing to play with her, no questions asked.
When the younger ones would go to sleep and Sam would make his way back from his after school job, Quinn even quietly helped him with his homework, the stress in his personal life slowly seeping into his education negatively. It felt like old times for Quinn. She had known about Sam's dyslexia from the start of their relationship and had always taken the time to help him because she wanted him to succeed. As the nights went on, it was as if they were becoming friends in private for the first time, something they didn't do when they rushed into a relationship. Quinn still shamed herself for not minding the way Sam sometimes glanced in her direction when he thought she didn't notice and she hated the way she blushed at the moments when it happened. Quinn made sure nothing happened though; she still had a boyfriend in Finn and she hated knowing he didn't trust her because of her past infidelities. So every night ended the same way; after the last of Sam's homework was completed, he would walk her the few feet to the door and give her a hug before she made her way to her car. She didn't understand how that hug became her favorite part of her night.
Everything started to break apart the minute the Muckracker went back into syndication. The rumors started flying, mostly about Sam, and Quinn felt her chest drop with every new accusation. First Sam was gay, then he wasn't, then he was a cheater, then he was the other man. Quinn knew the truth and after a quick talk with Sam, Quinn learned that Kurt knew the truth too, but both vowed to stay silent. Even when Quinn's own name was being dragged through the mud and the accusations came from her beloved boyfriend's mouth, she kept her ground and stayed silent. After one tense New Directions meeting revealed the truth about Sam's circumstances, Quinn watched as Sam stormed out of the choir room, biting her bottom lip and gripping the bottom of her chair to keep from running after him. She had her own boyfriend and worries to take care of. She shouldn't worry about the boy she had abandoned. Quinn didn't know why her heart hurt the rest of the meeting and why all her thoughts focused back to Sam, even when she caught Berry batting her eyes again at her boyfriend. She didn't know why she didn't care as much as she should have.
She rushed over to the motel room as soon as practice let out. Quinn knew that Sam would be there and that his younger siblings would still be in school for a least another hour, so when she knocked briskly at the door, she was relieved to find him by himself, reaching for a shirt since he was more than likely relishing the moment he had alone. She let herself in without preamble, not minding the stray clothes on the floor or the bed that was half-made as she heard Sam softly close the door behind her. She sat at the edge of the bed, rubbing her hand over the badly patterned comforter to motion him to come and sit next to her, a request he quickly complied. They sat in silence for a few moments, unsure of what should or could be said at a moment like this, before breaking the tension.
"I'm so sorry, Sam. That shouldn't have happened."
He shrugged his reply, sinking lower into the bed. For once in her life, Quinn had no idea what to do and before she could control of herself, she grabbed at Sam's hands again, settling them in her lap and under her own hands like she had the time they had met in the park where the truth had been revealed. Sam turned to face her and for the first time that Quinn could recollect, he smiled at her, a small genuine smile playing across his lips and spreading across his features. Quinn's own lips responded with their own identical smile, her fingers lightly tracing over his.
Quinn froze when Sam's lips brushed up against hers. It wasn't a spectacular kiss, Quinn would remember later as she replayed the events in her head on the drive home. It was a brief brushing of the lips together with Sam pulling away only a second after their lips had met, his own eyes reflecting the immediate guilt and regret of his actions, but for Quinn, it felt normal and needed and… right. It only felt more right as one of Quinn's hands moved from his and landed on Sam's cheek, stroking it softly with her thumb as she lightly pulled him back toward her again for more soft short kisses. It was a few minutes of this when it all hit Quinn. She was kissing Sam. She was kissing Sam and enjoying it. She was kissing Sam and it wasn't Finn. Sam wasn't Finn. The guilt hit her immediately and she could see the look of confusion all over Sam's face when she pulled away from him completely, standing up from the bed as she tried to control herself. She half-mumbled a "Gotta go" before disappearing out of the room and hiding in her car. Quinn wondered why she cried so hard into her pillow when she made it home.
She avoided Sam as much as possible, shirking on her baby-sitting responsibilities as a way of keeping her distance and control, even as Finn's suspicions began to die down again. Quinn would never forget the looks on little Stevie and Stacy Evan's as they walked into the choir room, one hand each attached to their loving big brother as he introduced them to the group and declared a number to be performed. Quinn couldn't help how much she smiled as she sang Fleetwood Mac, especially since she was standing next to Sam who seemed to be beaming for the first time in months. She played with his siblings for a little bit after the song had finished before disappearing in the darkness of the backstage to take a moment for herself as the rest of her group celebrated with each other. She felt she must have jumped at least a foot in the air when she heard Sam's voice behind her suddenly, deep with a slight trace of a Southern accent that seemed to be disappearing day by day.
"What are you doing back here?" Quinn asked, genuinely concerned now that she knew his siblings were being left alone.
"I need to talk to you. Please Quinn."
Quinn wanted to walk away, ignore the begging in the voice that pleaded her to stay, but she couldn't just walk away from him. Not like this.
"I didn't mean to kiss you." Sam mumbled out of nowhere as Quinn decided not to leave, leaning up against a wall as she heard her fellow glee club members rustling about on stage.
She couldn't keep her eyes on his as she whispered, "I didn't mean to kiss you back."
With her eyes on the ground, she didn't need to see him approaching her, his presence taking over all of her senses as his body overshadowed hers. She knew her breath was coming out soft and shallow and that she was biting so hard into her bottom lip that she was sure she was going to draw blood to keep quiet. Sam's eyes were trailing up and down her face and body, trying to gauge her emotions to see what to do next. He cupped her chin between his fingers, bringing her eyes back up to his. She watched as he opened his mouth and closed it, as if trying to find the right words to say before blurting out, "Quinn, I.." before being interrupted by the screams of his siblings looking for their big brother.
With a small huff, Sam dropped his head into her shoulder, shaking his head against her as Quinn realized he was trying to build up his guard again for the younger Evans children. She ran her fingers through the back of his now overgrown hair, trying to comfort as much as she could before they had to separate again. She felt a soft kiss at the base of her neck, his unwarranted thank you for her affections. She responded by pulling his head of her shoulder and smashing her lips against his, the movement drowning out all the sounds around her. This kiss, and the few kisses that proceeded after it, was so much different than the surprise ones from the motel. They were rushed, hungry, sipping from each other's lips because in the back of Quinn's mind, she didn't know when a moment like this would come again.
Quinn broke away when she heard Stacy's voice mixed in with Stevie's and Finn's, all looking for the disappearing blondes. Quinn knew that the sadness on her face matched the one on Sam's as they both silently acknowledged the truth: that this couldn't happen again.
"Go." Quinn whispered as Sam lingered, his fingertips ran against her sides, trying to keep part of him touching her as long as possible. "Go." She repeated, lightly nudging him away from her body. "They need you." Quinn had to stop herself before adding more than I need you.
Their fingers lightly collided with each other as they broke away from each other, their eyes meeting again before it became too much and Quinn was forced to look away. Sam took a deep breath before walking back onto the stage, his presence welcomed by the giggles and laughter Quinn could hear even from off-stage. Quinn bit back the tears as she heard Sam round up his younger clones, her heart thumping loudly when she heard a small voice, Stevie she thought, ask about Quinn. She heard a pause before Sam mumbled, "She had to go." Quinn didn't think the crack in her heart could get any deeper.
"You really love him, don't you?"
She didn't realize Finn was approaching until his voice echoed through the backstage of the auditorium. Quinn thought her neck would snap with how fast she turned to face the taller boy, her first love and boyfriend, the one she should have been kissing. She quickly wiped any emotions off her face, her voice steady as she replied, "I'm with you, Finn."
She turned to face him and walked over to him, watching as he tensed up the closer and closer she approached. "I want to be with you." Quinn repeated, her voice wavering at the last part, knowing this was a repeat of her love life again and again. She wondered if he could hear the lie as clearly as she could.
He couldn't… or possibly, Quinn thought, he refused to hear it. He grasped her hand in his, holding it firmly and forcing the lacing between their fingers as they walked out of the auditorium, ever the perfect 's eyes still floated over to Sam's at every free moment after that moment of time in the backstage of the school auditorium, just like she knew that Finn's floated to Rachel's every time the smaller girl opened her mouth. Quinn wondered why she wasn't as angry as she should have been.
As the school weeks began to count down toward summer, prom rapidly approached and the zeal Quinn felt toward prom queen renewed as the final days zoomed past.
The night of prom arrived quicker than Quinn had planned for. She knew she looked beautiful in her light blue dress and that Finn looked dashing in his suit and tie and that she was so close to Prom Queen she could taste it. The dance started friendly enough, all the couples arriving together one right after the other. Quinn had to admit she was shocked when she saw Sam arrive with Mercedes. It wasn't because of his choice of date, Quinn knew from experience how great of a friend Mercedes could be, but because for a second, she wished it was her arriving on Sam's arm, especially when she caught a glance of Finn pining over Rachel who was dancing with Puckerman this go-around.
Quinn watched as her date, the boy who was supposed to be in love with her, stood up suddenly in anger, his fists clenching back and forth as Berry floated around between Puckerman and that one St. James kid from last year. Quinn's eyes narrowed as she watched Finn leave her sitting in her chair alone, looking ready to start a fight. Quinn felt the weakness and disappointment course through her veins as she searched the crowd for the one pair of green eyes that could always keep her calm. She grew more and more worried as she couldn't find them before feeling the tapping on her shoulder. She turned her head against her shoulder, watching the green eyes she wanted behind her and relaxing immediately. Sam's eyes always did that to her. She never understood why.
She heard the yelling begin, her head snapping back to see the shoving start, but the tapping on her shoulder distracted her again from the fight beginning between the three boys.
"Come with me." Sam said strongly, his hand outstretched in front of her. Quinn didn't think she could stand up and grab his hand so quickly. He rushed her out of the venue where the prom was being held, his hand on her back as he guided her away to a small patio hidden away from everyone. The sounds of the yelling and fighting became a distance memory as the adrenaline coursed through her veins with every brush of his skin against hers.
Ever the perfect southern gentleman, he guided her to her seat on the small patio chair first, turning away as she brushed her skirt and making sure she was decent before taking the seat next to her. Quinn could tell he was nervous as he bit his bottom lip and implored her with his eyes to begin talking when he sat down next to her, his long blonde hair almost flopping into his eyes.
"Thank you." Quinn started softly. "Back there…" Quinn motioned her head at the drama that had erupted as she dropped her head into her hands, shaking softly. She forced herself to sit back into her chair, trying to keep the tears from streaking down her face. "I'm so stupid." Quinn said soundly, not elaborating any further that one of the stupidest things she had done was let the blond boy sitting in front of her go.
She felt the first tear streaked down her cheek when she heard him say, "You're not stupid, Quinn." He sounded so sincere that Quinn almost believed him. His arm snaked behind her, resting against her shoulders and bringing her closer to him.
"You're one of the smartest girls I know." Sam said with a smile, his fingers grazing against the bare skin of her arm and only distracting Quinn further. She softly sniffled as she rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes for the briefest of seconds.
I wasn't smart enough to keep you, Quinn thought to herself. Only the intake of Sam's breath and the new found tenseness of the body she was leaning against warned Quinn that she had actually said that out loud. She popped off of Sam's shoulder, ready to leave again before she embarrassed herself any further, but Sam's hand on hers stopped her. Their eyes met again, their hands never moving from each other as they both tried to figure out their next move. Sam was the first to move closer and Quinn could almost see the thoughts running through his head. She didn't know when this happened, but all she wanted was for him to lean over and kiss her. That's all she hoped for and she held her breath, watching his lips as intently as he watched hers. His lips were so close to her that she could almost taste him when suddenly it all crashed down.
"WHAT THE HELL?"
Quinn tried to back away when she heard the angry voice of her boyfriend, maybe ex-boyfriend, approaching the blondes in their seat, only to be stopped by Sam who held her tight to his body, a determined look on his face.
Sam kept his hands on hers, trying to keep her face on his as Finn lumbered toward the couple, his voice getting louder and angrier the closer he got.
"I should have known Quinn. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I can't even believe this. First Puck, now Sam. No wonder your dad is so disappointed in you."
Quinn felt the tears start to boil up again as Finn's words cut into her. She dropped her head against her chest, waiting for that ammo she knew Finn had against her but it was stopped by the sound of Sam.
"Dude, seriously go." Sam said steadily, slowly rising to his feet.
"Why should I go?" Finn countered back. "That is my girlfriend you're all over. Shouldn't you go back to the motel or something?"
Even Quinn had to lift her head at that. She stared completely shocked at the taller boy who was spewing the venom , feeling disgusted as the words came out. She started shifting in her seat, ready to comfort Sam but the words seemed to do nothing.
"I guess Rachel left with someone else, huh?"
Quinn couldn't believe the balls Sam had as he kept his ground. She watched the anger flicker in Finn's eyes, confirming what Sam had asked.
Finn's eyes left Sam's and focused on Quinn's, who was still sitting nervously. "Let's go." Finn said calmly, avoiding the death stare Quinn knew Sam was giving. "Quinn," Finn repeated, "Let's go." His voice was so direct that she was scared of how direct an order it was. She didn't move an inch, only letting her eyes shift back and forth between the two boys as she tried to make her decision. Stay or go?
She shook her head no the third time Finn told her that it was time to leave. A look of confusion, one she had seen many times before, took residence on his face as he forced a nervous smile and laugh before glancing in Sam's direction. Finn's eyes refocused on Quinn's again as he began to repeat his request again, only to be stopped by Quinn verbalizing her answer with a solid "No."
She stood up from her seat, almost stopped by Sam before giving him a look to let him know that she knew what she was doing. She calmly approached the towering boy, who was only getting more and more angry and confused as she walked toward him.
"No I'm not going with you, Finn." Quinn began. She regained some of the confidence she had when she was a captain of the Cheerios as she found her next words.
"The only reason why you are here right now is because someone else didn't choose you and I always did. I'm not doing that this time. I'm not doing that again."
She looked back at Sam, who was nervously biting his lip as he watched their encounter. She gave him a small smile, hoping to let him know that everything was going to be okay. That they were going to be okay. As she turned to face Finn again, she could see the hurt on the dark-haired boy's face and part of her wanted to make sure her former love was okay, but she knew better.
"You're going to leave this place one day and find someone who loves you, not because you're the popular or the quarterback or any superficial reason like that but because of who you are. You never know, there may even be someone here who would be perfect for you." Her mind quickly flashed to Brittany before it could stop it, but she shook the image from her head as she wanted to finish as quickly as possible. "I'm just not that person for you, Finn."
The former couple stood in silence as the final words were muttered, the words that needed to be said months ago. Quinn knew Finn's anger was completely gone as he stood in front of her, shoulders slumped with those dark puppy dog eyes staring at her. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she began to slowly back away. "I'll see you later, Finn." Quinn softly murmured as she waited for the boy to leave. He nodded once and began to take his leave alone. She began to turn away too and face the boy she knew was patiently waiting for her when she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning her back. Finn had a small smile on his face, one she recognized when he talked to Rachel, before leaning down to whisper something in her ear. Her eyes bugged out slightly as the words floated around in her head and Finn disappeared again.
Quinn could read the concern in Sam's face when she walked back to him, a small smile gracing her features. She felt like collapsing into Sam's arms, now that the weight of everything had been lifted off her shoulders. When she was within arm's reach, Sam pulled her close to his body, Quinn relishing in the fact that she was leaning against hard muscle and feeling all her tension disappear. "What did he say to you?" Sam asked softly after a few minutes of just holding each other had passed. Quinn chuckled into his chest before looking up into his eyes.
"Finn told me that he always knew you loved me as much as I loved you." She leaned back into his chest, feeling his arms wrap her tighter against him, as if he never wanted to let her go. The two blondes remained silent, treasuring the moment that they could finally be together again, without the distractions and the drama.
"So what do we do now?" Quinn asked softly against Sam's chest, nuzzling in closer to his neck and reaching around to take off the silly string thing around his neck. Sam let out a deep laugh as he moved his neck to help her.
"I don't know." Sam answered back honestly. "We can figure all that out later. Right now, I think I owe you a dance."
Quinn was sure her smile could be seen from outer space as he relaxed his arms around her enough for her to move back and placed his hands around her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled brightly at the turn of events, humming along to the love song she could hear drifting out of the school and into the open patio where they danced. She wondered if she had ever been so happy in her entire life.
The weeks since they returned to each other were hard for Quinn and Sam, harder than Quinn had anticipated, but slowly it had gotten easier. They both had to deal with the consequences of their actions, Quinn's cheating and Sam's lying, but even after the initial cold response from their fellow classmates, life at McKinley slowly returned back to a relative normal. Quinn was relieved when Sam's family life slowly turned for the better. Sam's father found a job nearby, something that Quinn received a phone call about at 2 in the morning, and though it took some time, a new house was bought. Quinn was proud to say she was there when the last box was moved out of the motel and that she was the first person kissed in the new home after Sam had moved into his room and pushed her underneath him on his brand new bed.
"I love you." Sam mumbled into her skin as he pressed his lips into the hollow of her neck. "I love you too." Quinn replied softly moaning, relishing in the fact that Sam's new room had a lock on the door. Though she had know idea what the future had in store for them, Quinn knew that she and Sam would be okay and she couldn't help but laugh as she pulled Sam's shirt over his head, the same red and gray Harley that started it all.
AN: Please Review! Thank you!