Author's Note: Hello everyone...so, this is an excerpt of a larger Frozen fanfic I've been planning for awhile. Things will seem confusing but that's because I wrote this in the middle of my fic. This part actually takes place after Anna battles Hans and she has to deal with the trauma dealt with his encounter (this doesn't take place during movie events, but way afterwards).
I'm really bad at explaining everything but hope you guys enjoy!
She woke up with a cold sweat, finding the night air to be both strangely comforting and discomforting at the same time. It had been the fourth night in a row Anna had been disrupted with terrible nightmares ever since the incident with Hans. Anna slightly vomited a bit remembering the encounter. She felt sick knowing that he nearly took the kingdom once, but completely conquering it while she and her sister were stuck in some unfortunate circumstances? And especially with how well he almost pulled off his takeover? Anna had to take a deep breath to remind herself that all of that trouble was over. The breathing didn't exactly help as her anxiety continued and remained shaking while in her bed.
"Stop it, Anna," she told herself, "Hans is gone, off in prison where he'll never hurt anyone again." She put her hands on her face and felt a strange gauze-like material wrapped around her head and covering her right eye. Anna felt surprised for a moment then sighed, "Oh yeah...I nearly forgot about that," she bitterly laughed at herself. Aside from a terrible confrontation with Hans, she was lucky enough to receive a sort of "gift" from him while the two fought in the castle library those few days ago. The experience left her traumatized and guilty, especially the moment her sister showed up. Anna probably felt that was the one time she wished Elsa did not come to her rescue. The sheer look of shock, confusion, guilt, and pure hatred flashing in her sister's face in a matter of seconds after witnessing Anna nearly beaten to death was enough to scare the living daylights out of Hans. It's not that Anna was ungrateful for Elsa coming to save her, but witnessing firsthand her sister's absolute rage lashed out, terrified her. She felt she lost her sister again despite Elsa's rage inflicted upon Hans lasting for a short moment.
As much as Anna hated Hans for everything he did, she loved Elsa enough not to let her succumb to her anger and kill the despicable man. There was no way she could bear to see her sister live with the guilt of using her ice powers for murder, no matter who it was aimed towards.
She sat up straighter from her bed and thought of Elsa for a moment. Elsa didn't know anything about Anna's recent nightmares regarding the incident, and Anna couldn't get herself to tell her since she knew her sister was still recovering from her own issues after the whole ordeal with Hans, so she figured she would respect her personal healing. To be honest, it was both that reason and the major factor that Elsa wouldn't be able to look at her without having a sense of pity in her eyes. Her feelings were understandable since Anna was nearly killed while having part of her face mutilated.
But ever since she and her sister returned to Arendelle, Anna continued feeling sidelined by Elsa, Kristoff, and even the citizens of the kingdom. Did Elsa and Kristoff have the need to overprotect her because Hans was back? Did the citizens feel the need to keep her safe in case something were to happen to her sister, though she was glad nothing did, and therefore have that spare to run the kingdom? Or did they all simply think she wasn't capable of helping regain the kingdom and protecting everyone? Did they all feel sorry that she wasn't capable enough and therefore needed to be protected like some shiny piece of treasure nobody ever really pays attention to? Was she simply an accessory to Arendelle? These were all the questions that would plague her mind after hearing the twisted words Hans drilled into her ears.
You're weak.
She tried shutting Hans's voice out and quickly got under her covers in an attempt to fall asleep once again. With little success, she didn't feel sleepy despite feeling exhausted.
"I wonder if Elsa is still awake," she thought to herself, then looked over to the clock across her room. The moonlight shining through her window was enough for her to read that it was almost three in the morning.
"Nevermind…" as much as Anna wanted to be next to her sister to feel much safer, a part of her berated herself for being almost too reliant on the help of others. She knew she wasn't always dependent, but a voice in the back of her head made it seem so.
Oh Anna, look at you. What makes you so special from your sister? You're nothing but an ordinary princess.
The ringing in her ears came back and she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head. Feeling it was useless to bother tossing and turning in bed, Anna got up from her bed, partially combed her messy red mane, and quietly exited her room to head to the library. She didn't know why she wanted to, seeing how that's one of the last places she would want to visit after everything that has happened.
When she arrived, parts of the library were covered in debris with a couple dozen books scattered about. The castle staff said they would get repairs started as soon as possible, but Anna didn't know if she would ever look at this place the same way again even with the the repairs.
She took a step inside and began wandering from bookshelf to bookshelf. It wasn't long until she stopped at the area she was cornered in by Hans. Next to that spot was large set of boards meant to barricade the walls Elsa destroyed the moment she discovered what he was doing to her sister. Anna sighed, then turned around to keep wandering the library. There were some parts in the room that felt untouched by the tragedy that struck. Anna decided to remain in the much cleaner area to remind herself of the more peaceful and happier times she spent at the castle. At least, she would remember the times that didn't involve pining for her sister to come of of her room or open the door during those thirteen long years.
She began heading to the shelf that held her favorite books about the tales of brave and valiant heroes, Aside from Joan, Anna had fantasized about being like numerous great heroes. She thought to herself at times, if she can never be queen, surely she can be something just as great. Anna always dreamed about the day she would be able to serve as her sister's right hand, even when she was separated from her all those years ago. Yet, those few days ago really proved how useful she can be to her sister…
"No! Stop it, Anna!" Anna shook her head trying to push away any incoming cynical thoughts. A cold breeze swept in from the crevices of the boarded up holes from the walls and ceilings. Anna tightened her night robe to feel warmer. She continued to walk across the library and stopped to pull out a random book from one of the shelves. It was a story about a legendary hero named Egil, who was a renowned archer and defended a sacred keep with his wife. Anna felt the wind from the crevices brush harder, and she wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not. But she could have sworn the wind was almost whispering to her. Only a few moments later, and Anna felt another sharp pain to her head, stronger than the one she felt earlier. The sharp pains had only been recent, but Anna made the effort not to reveal any more pain she was feeling, especially towards her sister. Ever since Hans messed up part of her face, Elsa would always put on a face of worry before managing a normal conversation with her. She knows that Elsa is trying to be the older sister to her, but she can't help feel she's just being babied by her overprotective sister. Her interactions with Kristoff after the ordeal were honestly no better either. He didn't exactly give the same initial look of pity or worry whenever they talked, but he would never let her do anything on her own.
Want to ride on Sven? Kristoff hoists her up. Want to go to a local tavern? Kristoff always has to have her arm over her while she does something as simple as buy a drink. Start to feel slightly light-headed? Kristoff has to check up on her. Every. Ten. Seconds. Even if was something as simply as her being her usual klutzy self, Anna would laugh, but Kristoff? He would pester her with relentless questions and try to be a shoulder to lean on and…
Are you alright?
Do you need anything?
Don't do that, I'll take care of it…
Are you sure you can handle that?
It was nice and sweet of Kristoff to do almost anything for her. And she liked that fact that he was being a good supportive boyfriend, at least, at first. But that was her problem as the days went on. She didn't want Kristoff to be just her supportive boyfriend, she wanted Kristoff, the good friend. And while she didn't want to be rude about it, she felt his overprotectiveness was more irritating and far worse than Elsa's. Elsa, from time to time, did her best to interact with her sister normally. Anna could forgive her sister's overprotective nature due to her guilt of nearly letting her kill Hans, and from the fact that she felt the same sentiment towards her after Hans stabbed Elsa's right hand and left wrist while trying to escape from her wrath. Yet, even though Elsa would have suffered more pain from her wounds, causing some limitations in using her powers, she still put her concern towards her sister's safety, first. Anna wasn't exactly happy with the way her sister treated her sometimes, but there were a few occasional moments where they felt like little kids or normal sisters having fun again.
Anna didn't want to berate Kristoff for his overprotective nature. She understood what he possibly could've gone through after seeing her in such a state. But there were times she didn't even feel like a person when she was around him.
The air around her suddenly turned to a biting chill. Anna tightened the cloak around her as she kept walking and figured it'd be best if she were to go back to bed rather than have wandering thoughts plague her. She began to exit the library and sighed in relief as she left the damaged room behind her.
"No hallucinations this time...no Hans this time," she said to herself while closing the library door shut.
The first few steps across the hallway seemed normal. There was nothing out of the ordinary until Anna felt an ominous presence behind her. She quickly ignored the feeling and continued down the hallway at her same pace.
Her hopes of the feeling of dread leaving her never dwindled by much. In fact, it almost felt as if each step she took brought the dread closer. Without thinking, Anna slightly picked up her pace and walked down the hall. Voices began creeping her mind. The whispers of her insecurities and darkest fears consumed her. She hadn't even noticed she was already running and leaving loud footsteps across the hallway.
"No! No! Stop!" Anna strained to say to herself. Eventually, she collapsed right before reaching her doorway and tried to reach for the know to make it all end, but the pain, both physically and mentally, was too great.
"Anna?" thinking it was someone else, Anna shut her eyes and swung her behind to get rid of whatever was probably going to hurt her.
"Whoa! Anna? Anna? It's me," Anna slowly opened her eyes to reveal her sister's concerned face. Panic began spreading across Anna's face the moment she saw Elsa kneeling before her. She could have given Elsa a black eye! To be honest, Anna thought it would probably have looked a little better than her own grotesque, bandaged scar.
It wasn't long until Elsa spoke up while attempting to reach her hand towards her sister's face. At first contact, both sisters were relieved Anna didn't flinch from the touch. Ever since the beating from Hans, Anna hadn't exactly been very open to physical contact.
"Anna...are you okay?" Elsa hesitantly asked. She immediately wanted to take back the question.
What kind of question if that? Look at her, does she even look okay?
Anna sighed after noticing Elsa's brief moment of silence, "You're doing it again…"
"Again?" Elsa broke out off her internal self-berating thoughts. Anna just stared at her in sadness and out of light frustration for feeling like she was seen as nothing but helpless.
"You're making that face and looking at me with those eyes," Anna continued, "Elsa, I understand you're just looking out for me. Both of you and Kristoff have been great. It's just…" she wanted to stop there. She could just stop there and not even finish at and save her sister from feeling bad, and herself from feeling worse. Though, she knew if she continued to keep it in, she would potentially create debilitating effects that would have both of them regress into that thirteen-year period of isolation, misunderstanding, and loneliness. Instead, Anna chose to finish her thoughts.
"It's just…"
"I know," Elsa interrupted, which surprised her sister, "I'll admit that I've been overbearing and that I've been treating you equivalent to child or a helpless animal. But Anna...when I saw you there in that room…" she tried to finish, but like Anna, didn't know if she could.
"Elsa, it's okay," she put her hand on her sister's cheek, "just let me finish." Elsa simply nodded and let her sister speak.
"But then again...maybe we should continue this in my room instead of the hallway," Anna suggested. Her sister gave a soft smile. At least things are starting to feel a little normal between them again. But both of them knew the damage done by Hans was irreversible. The two sisters went inside the room to continue talking and resolving any issues that kept being swept under the rug.
