Summary: Feelings are pondered in many places…but there is only one place to ponder memories…and that's when you're alone on a hilltop

Disclaimer: Just think…if I actually owned the Fullmetal characters….i would make them slaves of my own sick and twisted ways…

Parings: EdxRoy…

Alone On A Hilltop:

Today was one of the few days he ever got off. It was a rare occasion in which the Colonel could actually try to make an understanding of his feelings, however on this day that was exactly the wrong thing he wanted to do. Six months ago, he had made the most horrifying, and most difficult mistake any one could, and was now, of course, regretting it. Brushing a gloved hand through his hair, he sat on the hilltop staring at the sky, as if asking it to help him. The wind was blowing softly…and only if the event from months ago hadn't happened, there was the chance he wouldn't be sitting on the hilltop alone, no, but with the one he loved snaked between his arms.

The events of six months still lingered, or were in fact etched into the very core of his heart. He was always cruel to him, but what the Colonel had done was undeniably unforgivable. Being an ass was something that was part of Mustang's personality, but losing someone he cared deeply for wasn't. So once again, the cold hearted member of the military, who only cared about his status, thought back too six months ago when everything went wrong…

It had been a normal day in the office, Roy having mountains of paperwork, Havoc smoking a cigarette, Hawkeye holding a gun to his head forcing him to finish his work, and of course the famous Fullmetal Alchemist was stopping by his office to give the report of his newest mission. That's when it happened, the Flame alchemist finally figured out the one thing the name Fullmetal always seemed to do, it always seemed to bring a smile to his face. There was just something about his little friend, that made him feel just a little bit warmer inside, but only a little bit. The Colonel was on his last sheet of paper, in which needed to be signed before Edward Elric burst through the door…literally. "Glad to see your back Fullmetal" He replied smirking smugly. Lieutenant Hawkeye just left the room as Ed glared at the Colonel. "I almost didn't see you there, you know with the one piece of paper blocking my sight…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU WOULD NEED A MICROSCOPE TO EVEN SEE," cried Ed which caused the Colonel to smile inside. Something about the way that Ed blew up every time his height was mentioned was delightful in some kind of sick way.

"Calm down Fullmetal," said Roy standing up from his chair and walking towards Ed who was sitting on the couch. "I just want to know you're report. And perhaps one should understand what there superior says" The look in Ed's eyes was something of question…and come to think of it, normally he can here the youngest Elric speak as they walk in…where was Al?

"I just came by to tell you that I'm quitting the military," said Ed as Roy raised an eyebrow. He knew that Ed disliked the military, however the reason he was in it was for more access and power to search for the precious philosopher's stone, so why would he quit now…unless….

"Edward what happened on your mission?" asked Roy watching as the elder Elric's eyes became glassy with tears. "I need to…No I want to know what's bothering you so much…" Wow had the Roy Mustang just said what he thought he said…well what he said he meant, and besides that something was terribly wrong here. Noticing the answer he wasn't receiving, Roy decided to ask the real question he had been wondering… "Ed where's Al?" That did it…Ed cracked. The tears flowed like miniature rivers from his eyes as he looked up at the Colonel, desperately trying not to cry, since it wasn't something a man of the military should do, however at this point, he needed a good cry.

"During, our m-mission," he stuttered between sobs. "The homunculus named E-Envy, H-He attacked me and Al…but h-he attacked right after a battle with Scar and my auto mail was wrecked and to be h-honest I was useless. I-I went to a-attack him but he dodged it and went straight for Al…I was helpless as I watched Envy scrape the b-blood seal off of the armor. There w-was nothing I could d-do for him, I couldn't s-save A-Al, H-He's dead b-because of me" Cried Ed who soon felt strong arms embrace him. "Colonel?"

"Ed, I don't know how you're feeling right now, but you have to move on…" Roy didn't even have time to finish as Ed interrupted him pushing out of the Colonel's strong grip.

"Move on?" he asked his sadness quickly turning into anger. "What would you know you bastard Colonel? The one thing I lived to protect, the one thing I cared for, died because of me. Do you think life is worth living without anyone to love you?"

"How do you know that you're not loved huh?" asked Roy as Ed looked at him quizzically. What was the Flame alchemist getting at. "Did you ever stop to think about all the people who care about you Ed?"

"No one care's about me!" Ed cried. "I'm nothing more than a dog of the military, and your key to becoming Fuhrer"

"Edward that's not true…" said Roy as he was once again interrupted by Ed.

"Of course it's true," cried Ed. "The only reason you need me around is so that you can become mister high and mighty just like…" Edward never did get to finish that thought as he felt the pressure of someone's lips on his own. The kiss between subordinate and higher up was a chaste one, but still romantic at the same time. The young boy was just starting to enjoy it as the Colonel pulled away.

"Sorry," cried Roy as the two blushed crimson. Ed just coughed a little and turned to face away from Roy.

"Why did you do that?" asked Ed unsure of this feeling, actually that was a lie. Fullmetal had known for a long time that his feelings for Roy were deeper than friendship, but he never did think that there was the slightest possibility that the Colonel had the same feelings for him.

"Al wasn't…No Isn't the only one who cares about you Ed," said Roy as Ed looked at him, the look of both love and wanting coming into his eyes. "I care about you" That was the second time that day that they kissed, this one filled with more passion and fire than the first, and it was the first boyfriend the two had ever had.

Months flew by, and soon it had been four months since the newest couple had been together. However along with those four months, the word of the hottest couple in the military spread like wildfire and soon everyone was talking about it. The military people also made sure they watched what they said about the couple for fear of being fried to a crisp or being stabbed by auto-mail. Havoc, being the perverted man that he is, did enjoy teasing Roy and Ed when ever he got the chance, but that usually ended in Roy holding up his hands ready to snap…his fingers.

Roy was like the pillar of support during the time Ed was trying to get over losing his brother. Roy would sit there and listen without making one smartass remark, which was very out of character…but frankly he wanted to do all in his power to make his lover happy. Two months of crying, depression and love later, Ed had finally returned to is old self, still scarred by losing his brother, but was happy there was someone he could love that loved him back.

Now both being as stubborn as they were, usually resulted in some fights, such as who would sleep on the right side of the bed, or who would make breakfast, and such which were usually solved after a battle to the death involving the drapes catching fire and the couch getting several holes that resembled the blade of Ed's auto mail, yet no matter how much the two would fight, there was still enough love between the two to brighten anyone's day.

"Ed…can I ask you something?" said Roy as Ed lifted his head from his lover's chest as they lied in the bed together.

"Anything," replied Ed noticing Roy's discomfort, so to help him Ed gripped his hand reassuringly.

"Do you…uhhhh…love me?" asked Roy as Ed looked at him with his left eyebrow raised. "I mean…forget it…" But Roy was surprised when the blonde haired alchemist kissed him.

"If you haven't figured it out by now then I guess I'm doing worse then I thought," said Ed as Roy smiled. It was as though nothing could ruin this moment, this life. They slept beautifully until the alarm woke the two from their slumber. As the lovers walked through the doors at HQ Ed was instantly summoned to the Fuhrer's office. So he kissed Roy goodbye and the two parted.

Roy couldn't concentrate at all the rest of the day, even with the barrel of a gun against his head. The only thing really going through his brain was the fact he wanted to know what the Fuhrer wanted with Ed…his Ed. Finally after nine and a half hours Roy was finally able to leave work, only to find that Ed had already left, not even waiting for him…dam. So Roy went home alone, feeling more alone than ever, but seeing Ed's shoes in the doorway as he walked in was a relief. "Ed you here?" He called hearing a response coming from the bedroom, so the Flame walked up the stairs to see Ed with a suitcase packing his things. "Ed, What?" were the only words Colonel Mustang could form as he watched his lover pack his things.

"I received a new mission," said Ed who continued to not make eye contact with Roy. "I'm going to Lior, where the uprising against the military is going to happen, apparently, they need me to help fight back…"

"What!" Roy cried and began to pace the room. "Taking that mission would be like suicide Ed, let me talk to the Fuhrer, make him change his mind, surely…" But Roy never finished as Ed stood on his toes and pressed a finger to his lips.

"Trust me…I need to take this mission ok," said Ed who continued packing as Roy propped himself against the wall.

"Well, when do you leave," asked Roy as Ed sighed again.

"I leave tomorrow morning, and you can't follow me. You have to stay here understood, because if you follow me you'll be discharged," said Ed as Roy became mad with anger and Ed through the suitcase on the floor and crawled into bed.

"So your doing this so I wont get fired is that it," cried Roy as Ed sighed and said three words before his eyelids grew heavy and sleep consumed him.

"I love you"

Roy woke up the next morning feeling the bed and noticing that where Ed should've been lying, there was nothing but air. He pulled himself from the bed and that's when he realized it would be a long day at work. However the war was worse than the military thought, the death toll of soldiers continued to climb and Roy was just happy to know that Ed's name hadn't popped up on any of the K.I.A (killed in action) sheets he was given.

It had been a month since the war had started and Roy was getting anxious for Ed to return however the shocking news he was about to receive was going to hit the Colonel like a metal baseball bat. He walked into the lounge room to see Havoc, Breda, Feury, and Riza all standing over a sheet of paper. "What's everyone looking at?" he asked as Havoc grabbed the paper trying to conceal it behind his back.

"Nothing," they all cried in unison as Roy held out his hand.

"Give it to me," he asked as no one moved. "I said give it here!" he shouted as Havoc handed him the sheet. Roy's dark coal eyes scanned the sheet and soon grew wide. "N-no…it can't be…" He cried as Hawkeye placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry…Sir," she said as Roy still stood bewildered as he continued to read over the sheet that was in his hand.

Military Members Killed In Action (K.I.A)

Anthony Myuoder

Christine Hander

Jake Princeton

Edward Elric

His Ed, the one he loved was dead and there was no way to bring him back. Roy thought about Alchemy but knew that wouldn't be what Ed would want. He also thought about suicide, but then thought back to Ed. The funeral was more emotional than when Hughes died and many people turned out to honor Fullmetal. But the news Roy was later told hurt him more. It turned out that Ed was shot as he stood between military and the citizens of Lior as a way to keep peace…he died trying to bring peace.

And one month later, after he had finally begun to move on, knowing Ed would probably tell him to do so, we join him on the hilltop where he sits alone. Roy slowly stood brushing the dead grass from his pants as he made his way to the cemetery. Many gravestone's stood as markers of those military members who lost their lives, but in the middle lied the gravestone's of the two Elric brothers, some of the best the military had ever seen.

"Ed, I know the likelihood of you hearing me, is pretty slim to none," said Roy placing his gloved hand on the stone tracing the word Edward. "But all I ask, is that you wait for me to come back to you…please…wait" said Roy as a strange wind blew that sounded strangely like Ed who replied.

"I Will wait only for you"

Roy just shook his head since he knew he must be hearing things and left the cemetery. Hoping that some day he would be reunited with his other half…the Fullmetal Alchemist.

:----:

A/N: Man…can u believe that that made me sad…. Wow… anyways please review! And all flames will be used to show I'm just as awesome as Roy Mustang