Author: Michelle Drake and Montana Magic, and company gypsychic04@c4.com
Title: Sexy Sketchy
Genre: Dark Angel, Humor
Author's Note: This is a product of that stage before awakness and asleepness- known as the Flitsy Stage!!!! This was written by Me (your Queen of Angst!!!! and now HUMOR!!!!), and Amy (some may know her), and Sarah, Sarah, Nikki, and Annie!!!! This was written at two am when even saying shampoo, orange flom, impotent duck, chimichanga, or fierce Britney (don't ask) is funny, so we aren't sure if you all will find this funny- but we sure as hell do!!!! :) Please read and review!!!! We are thinking of writing a whole series if we get some good reviews!!!!! (Oh the possibilities!!!!)
Spoilers: Nope!!!!
Summary: Drunk Sketchy . . . need we say more?
Rating: R
Feedback: PLEASE, Please, please review, remember, flames are always good, but compliments aren't bad either!!!! :) E-mail me if you have a question about my writing, or anything at gypsychic04@c4.com or nowah5@unique-software.com.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel™ characters. Yeah, I know, (sadly) I don't own Michael Weatherly- oh poo!!!! He belongs to Jessica Alba, and I don't think she will let me have him. Maybe I can have Josh Alba or Jensen Ackles- They HOT!!!! But we won't get into that right now- I could go on for days!!!! Logan and Max, and other characters belong to James (Help!!!!! The boat is sinking!!!!) Cameron and Charles H. Eglee and all the apes at Fox. I do however own this story and my other stories- so there!!!! I do own Alec- he's my love slave. Also, one last thing, I am auctioning off Sketchy to the highest bidder!!!! Anyone . . . Anyone? Going once- going twice, sold to the lovely dumpster in the back!!!!!
Scene- JAM PONY
---
(Hilary (in her best announcer voice): Sketchy walks into Jam Pony, obviously very drunk, or high, or whatever . . . let's watch!!!!!)
Sketchy: Good Mornin' Maxie, you'll never guess what I finally got!
Max: (sarcastically) A brain?
Sketchy: If you new what I had, you wouldn't be being so mean.
Max: Sketchy, leave me alone. Are you high or something?
Sketchy: Probably, but that's besides the point. I have a gift for you.
Max: Please let it be a gun.
Sketchy: That hurts, that really does. (hands her a box)
Max (opens box- confused): What is this?
Sketchy (happily): It's the cure for the virus!
Max: What? How did you know?
Sketchy: Well I was in between a hangover and a high last night in a dumpster when it dawned on me! What could I get my best friend Maxie for her birthday?
Max (interrupting him): It isn't my birthday-
Sketchy: Well I was thinking, 'what could I get my best friend Maxie for a Wednesday!
Max: Sketchy- it's Monday.
Sketchy: Fine- I was thinking 'what could I get her for a-'
Max: Shut up! How did you know about-
Sketchy: I'm smart!
Max (shoves him up against a locker): How did you find out?
Sketchy: God your rough. I like a girl with big muscles . . . and a bootie to match!
Max (knees him- you know where (ahh!!!! We can't watch!!!!- or maybe we can!)): How did you find out!?
Sketchy (voice cracks): I don't know! I was very drunk, or high, or incapasitated, or discombobulated, or something, or both, or-
Max: Get to the point!
Sketchy: God you're pretty! I wish I could-
Max: Shut up!
Sketchy (still pined against the locker): It came to me in a dream- as I said (starts singing) I was sailing on a boat to heaven. And the people all said sit down sit down your rockin' the boat...
Max: shut the hell up before I throw you off that damned boat!
Sketchy: I'm gonna kiss you. I love you I wanna love you and...make babies...and stuff!
Max: Know what?
Sketchy: You wanna get laid?
Max: I give up!
Sketchy: Oh you is a very (makes a hiccupy-hick noise) bad girl.
Max (walks away, exasperated, and talking to herself. Sketchy follows): I wonder if Logan's home right now . . .
Sketchy: Oh you mean like a three-some?
Max: Not exactly... (starts walking away)
Sketchy: (follows- again!) Oh so you wanna brag about getting laid with the 'Sketchman'!
Max: I never have and never will sleep with you. What have you been smokin'?
Sketchy (shocked): That wasn't you? I must have been high on somethin' real strong . . . I want my money back!
Max (Sighs): I can't believe you!
Sketchy: Why not?
Max: You are too evil.
Sketchy: You wanna know evil? (grabs her butt) That was evil!
Max: Why you little . . . (Max is about to do some butt kicking- but decides not to as Original Cindy walks in... Max mutters) You are so unbelievably lucky Sketchy .
Sketchy (bragging): That wasn't luck that was skill.
Original Cindy: What?
Sketchy: We were just talking about doing the "wild thing!"
Original Cindy: You trippin' boo?
Sketchy: No! Me and Maxie are sexually interactive! (proudly)
Max: Excuse me! Want to see interactive! How about my foot in your ass!
Sketchy: Well that would be nice! (to Original Cindy) She's a very seducing lady!
Max (sarcastic): Yeah- sugar and spice and everything nice!
Original Cindy: What the-
Sketchy (to Original Cindy): You wanna have a threesome?
(Max and Original Cindy exchange looks.)
Max: You wanna do him or should I?
Sketchy: Ladies, ladies! There's enough of me to go around!
Original Cindy (to Max): I better.
Sketchy: You switching teams? Wow- I never knew that I had this sorta effect on the ladies . . .
Original Cindy: Sketchy, where do you get this crap?
Sketchy: It's not my fault I'm drunk all the time- I mean (hick)- I don't try . . .
Original Cindy (fed up): That's it boo- I'm going to count to ten before I put you in a world of hurt . . .
Sketchy: You know, your Originalness- you are very lovely today!
Original Cindy: One . . .
Sketchy: Are you tired? Cuz' you've been running through my mind all day!
Original Cindy: Two . . . move you ass!
Sketchy: I know I am but what are you?
Original Cindy: Three . . .
Sketchy: I'm serious . . .
Original Cindy: Four . . .
Sketchy: You know if you keep counting, I'll steal your originalness, okay Cindy! Hear that 'Unoriginal Cindy.'
Original Cindy: TEN
Sketchy: Maxie, hide me . . . in the closet! Quickly save me from Unoriginal Cindy! We can do it in there!! Quick to the closet! My little mind can't take this stress! I can't live in a world of hurt. (singing) Nobody know the troubles I've seen!
Max: Lets go ass wipe. (leads him outside)
Sketchy (singing): But I have such a lovely bunch of coconuts! didlydeeee! Yes, I did wipe my ass, just not this morning.
(Max shuts the door, but Sketchy comes back in . . .)
Original Cindy (to Max): Oh, girl... (sighs)
Sketchy: But, I'm a boy, a real boy. Once, I was a wooden boy, they made me out of stone. Wait no, I'm just stoned, huuuhhhhuuuuhuhu.
Max: Sketchy, go to the closet, I'll meet you there!
Sketchy: I may be cheap, but I'm not easy!
Max (sarcastic): Sketchy, Sketchy, Sketchy! We completely misjudged you!
Sketchy (seriously): Lots of people do that! (a beat, then) still wanna go?
Max: I'll meet you there.
Sketchy: Wow! This is like Christmas in July!
Original Cindy: It's not July-
Sketchy: Fine! It's Christmas in September! As it is Christmas, I think you should give me a present!
Max (quietly to O.C.): We just can't get rid of him.
Sketchy (apparently listening in): The only way to get rid of me is with a kiss!
Original Cindy: Well how about my foot kissing your ass!
Sketchy: Sorry- that won't do!
Original Cindy: Max- just kick his ass now- please! I can't take his stupidness anymore! I think it might be contagious!
Max: Better start running!
Sketchy (runs like hell, tripping over a garbage can then running into a locker, and passing out): Oh gotta- arghh!!!! Ahhhhh!!!
Original Cindy (looks at Sketchy passed out in the pile of garbage): What is his problem?
Max: I don't know, but to think that he came up for a cure to the virus!
Original Cindy: He found the cure (looks at Sketchy unconscious on the floor)
Max: Maybe he's a genius after all!
Original Cindy: I wouldn't go that far!
THE END!!!!
Author's Note: Near the end the flitsiness began to wear off- but it is still rather clever!!!! :) Please review so that we know if we should write another story!!!!! K? Love y'all!!!!
Author's Note 2: Beware!!!! Be afraid!!!! Be very afraid!!!! We are all opening new cans of pop!!!! Flitsiness part deux!!!!! Here we come!!!!!!!!! :)
This brush of flitsiness has been brought to you by Saramhilikklaurnnie Janovynolmctompson
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala