A/N: Hey all! This is just a little something to hold you over before my next update (and to get my creative thoughts flowing). I've always wanted this scene in Hardin's point of view and I decided why don't I just write my own? I hope you enjoy it!
EXCERPT FROM ANNA TODD'S AFTER, CHAPTER 39 - HARDIN'S POV
I kill the engine and step out, spotting Tristan's car at the other end of the parking lot. "They must have gotten a table already," Nate says, meeting us at the doors.
"Good, because I'm starving," Molly says, flipping her hair back behind her shoulder. She tugs at the bottom of her dress, despite its lack of spare material, and checks her makeup for the third time in my car window. I roll my eyes when she looks up at me.
Zed's truck pulls up a few moments later, parking beside me. He hops out of the driver's side, swinging his keychain around his finger before shoving them into the pocket of his jeans. He greets us before we head inside to find the others. I spot Tristan first, then Steph, and sitting next to her is… holy shit...
It's Tessa. Well, sort of. She looks fucking hot—I know this was Steph's doing, because I recognize the dress that Tessa is wearing is not her own. Her eyes look so much lighter, despite the darker makeup around them, while her face is practically glowing and she looks fucking beautiful.
Why did Steph have to make her look this good? Not that she wasn't stunning before, but now… her appearance is doing wicked things to me the longer I stare at her.
I know I've been an asshole to Tessa but fucking hell, Steph just has to make me feel like absolute shit, right?
Nate whistles the closer we get and Zed walks beside him, with Molly following closely and me right behind her. I notice Steph's wide-eyed stare the moment she sees me, and she whispers something to Tessa I can't hear.
Zed slides into the other seat next to her. Fucker.
"Whoa, Tessa, you look super hot!" Zed proclaims, and I see the blush creeping into her skin. "Really, like wow! I've never seen you like this."
He's practically drooling on her and it makes me furious. Nate, Molly, and I take the booth behind them, and I make sure I sit in the side facing her. Nate leans over the top of their section, grinning.
"You do look smokin', Tessa." He says. I see her smile again, and it's nearly killing me that I have to pretend like they aren't right. She looks like a fucking sin on legs and I can't do anything about it.
From where I'm sitting, I can see Tessa's face across the table between Steph and Tristan's forms. I can see from the corner of my eye as Tessa glances over—I can practically feel her eyes on me, but I can't bring myself to look just yet. Instead, I wrap my arm around Molly's shoulder and try not to grimace when she shifts closer into my side.
I suddenly wish it were blonde hair wrapped around my fingers instead of pink.
"She does look great, doesn't she?" I hear Steph ask, encouraging nods from the others. I notice Tessa looks uncomfortable under all of this attention, but she's too polite to tell Steph to stop.
Molly leans forward with a wry smile on her red lips, and says, "You do look good, girl, better than ever before!" Tessa's eyes shoot up to her face, and then mine, as Molly sinks back into my arm. She tries to smile again, but I see through it.
I watch as Zed drinks half of her drink, and the small scowl on her face when she notices it's almost finished. Tessa nudges his arm, and Zed smirks, "Sorry, babe, I'll order you another," he says. I want to smack that smug grin off his face. Babe, like he has a chance with her. Like he has anything with her.
I clear my throat, staring right at Tessa. She meets my eyes across the space, like a deer in headlights. Zed rests an arm behind her on the top of the divider. She doesn't move away, and I start to feel like maybe there is something going on between them.
She leans into him just a bit, but it's enough to set me over the edge. I want to jump across the booth and strangle him—I have to calm down though, I can't let Tessa see it's bothering me.
I am pissed off. Beyond pissed, actually.
The waitress returns to our tables, taking our food orders. The majority order hot wings, but Tessa goes for a burger with fries—no ketchup, of course. I briefly remember our conversation about her hatred of ketchup, and I can't help but wonder if she's told him that little bit of information. The selfish part of me hopes not. She told me that first.
Zed compliments the wings, trying to get her to change her mind, but Tessa just nods without acknowledging his comment.
"So are you going to the bonfire next weekend?" Tessa asks him, and I realize it's the first time I've heard her voice all night. I hear it loud and clear, as if she were the only other person in this bar.
Zed looks uncomfortable, embarrassed almost, as he says, "I don't know, it's not really my scene." Douche. He takes a long sip of his beer, finally resting his arm fully on her shoulder. An image comes to my mind—me grabbing his arm and dragging him onto the floor in a rage. "Are you going?" He asks her.
"Yeah, with Landon," she states, earning a loud chorus of laughter from the others around us. Molly's laughter comes out more obnoxious than necessary.
"Landon Gibson?" Zed asks through his laughter. Soon to be Landon Scott, I think bitterly.
"Yeah, he's my friend," Tessa snaps suddenly, defending her only real friend.
"He would go to the bonfire! He is such a lame," Molly chimes in, earning a cold glare from Tessa.
"No, he isn't actually. He is really cool," She retorts, sticking her chin up indignantly.
"Landon Gibson and cool do not belong in the same sentence," Molly snorts, tracing her fingers lazily over my forehead to push my hair back. Good thing they weren't in the same sentence, I think coolly—for Tessa's defense, I tell myself.
"Well, sorry if he isn't cool enough to hang out with you guys, but he is…" immediately, I know where she is going with this, but she stops herself before she finishes her sentence. She brushes Zed's arm off of her shoulder, putting distance between them.
"Whoa, Tessa, calm down. We are just teasing," Nate reassure her suddenly. Nate is always the one to step in when things start taking a turn for the worst.
"Well, I don't like when people tease my friends, especially when he isn't here to defend himself," she continues, her chest rising and falling rapidly through her fit of anger.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Besides, I do gotta give him some credit for that black eye he gave Hardin," Zed says, putting his arm back around her shoulders. The others laugh at that, but I keep my mouth pressed into a hard line. Of course he would fucking bring this up now, to mock me in any way he can.
"Yeah, good thing that professor broke up the fight, or Hardin would have gotten beaten even worse by the loser—," Nate says, stopping when Tessa gives him a look for calling Landon a loser again, "Sorry, it slipped."
My eyes flicker to Tessa's face, but she doesn't look at me. I see her putting the pieces together, and I fear she will expose my truth right here in front of them all.
I would deserve it if she did.
She looks over at me then, and I know she has figured it out. She looks ready to blurt it out, but I'm relieved when she changes the subject, "Well, I think the bonfire will be fun."
"Maybe I will make an appearance after all," Zed says, staring at her for far too long.
"I'm going," I say without thinking, followed by Molly's snickering. They all look over at me with confused or surprised expressions, "Yeah, sure you are," Molly rolls her eyes at the idea.
"No, really, it won't be so bad," I insist, earning me another eye roll from the attitude queen attached to my side.
The waitress brings out our food, placing the hot wings in the middle of the tables and Tessa's plate down in front of her. I can't see her plate, but I can tell by her expression and the way she scrunches her nose up, that something is wrong with it. I know what, of course—there's ketchup.
And I also know her well enough by now: Tessa is too polite to say something about it.
The waitress disappears into the kitchen, and everyone else digs into their food. Tessa doesn't comment much, if at all, and she merely picks at her fries while the others talk about the party tonight. A short while later, the waitress comes back and asks if we need anything else.
I wait to see if Tessa will speak up, and Tristan starts to tell her we're all set but my voice cuts in before she can walk away again.
"Wait. She ordered her burger with no ketchup," I say loudly, catching Tessa's attention immediately. She looks startled, and uncomfortable as our server looks at her with concern and reaches for her plate.
"I'm sorry about that. Do you want me to take it back?" Tessa starts to shake her head.
"Yeah. She does," I answer for her. I can feel her eyes boring into me, angry and embarrassed, but I don't care.
"Here, honey, give me your plate," she says with an apolo and embarrassed, but I don't care.
"Here, honey, give me your plate," she says with an apologetic smile. "I'll bring you a new one." Tessa watches as she leaves with her plate, then tries to look anywhere but at me.
Molly nudges me, hard, and hisses, "What was that?"
"Nothing, she doesn't like ketchup," I say simply, ignoring Molly's pissed off sigh before she finishes her beer.
"So?" She snaps. I look right at her, my anger quickly returning with her attitude.
"So, nothing. Just drop it," I tell her firmly. Molly rolls her eyes and joins back in on the conversation, ignoring me while my own attitude dissipates.
The waitress eventually returns, with a new plate in hand and she sets it down in front of Tessa, who tries to offer an apology for having it sent back.
She finishes most of it, and I'm relieved she does—much to my annoyance, however, Zed offers to pay for her meal and doesn't take no for an answer. I'm even more aggravated as we're leaving, and he casually wraps an arm around Tessa's shoulders, showing off the fact that she's under his arm and not mine.
Fuck this bet.
"Logan says the party is already packed!" Nate says, reading a text.
"You should ride with me there," Zed offers loudly, and I hold back my laughter when Tessa declines it. Zed frowns.
"Oh, I am not going to the party. Tristan is going to take me back." Tessa says, shrinking out from under his arm. She looks uncomfortable—good. Well, not good. But I'm relieved she doesn't enjoy his advances. It's too bad she tried to fool me earlier, and nearly succeeded, because it only aggravates me further now. She's leading him on, to get back at me.
"I can take her back to her room since I drove," I offer next, as seven pairs of eyes snap to me with confused, surprised or annoyed looks.
Tessa stumbles slightly, taken back but Steph manages to catch her in time. Steph smiles at me sweetly, but I know what she's about to say, "No, Tristan and I will take her. Zed can ride with us, too."
I shoot Steph a murderous glare—I'm trying to get Tessa and Zed as far away from each other as possible, and of course Steph is going to intervene and make that difficult. I turn to Tristan.
"You don't want to drive drunk on campus; the police are going to be looking for people to give tickets to because it's Friday."
I see Steph glance over at Tessa for her response. It's her say now—if she declines me, I know I'll have to drop it.
Instead of giving us an answer, she shrugs her shoulders and leans back into Zed's side while we debate our situation.
"Great, let's drop her off and then go have some fun," Molly concludes, clasping her hands together. I shake my head at her. I want Tessa alone—we need to talk, and she can't ignore me if she's stuck in a car with only me.
"No, you ride with Tristan and Steph," I tell her sharply, watching as she shrinks back from my tone. I need to them to stop working against me—they know about the bet, they know why I need this time alone with her. I need Tessa back on my side.
But another part of me doesn't believe I want her alone for just the bet. I want her alone for the sake of spending time with her. It's driving me mental that she's so distant with me right now.
"For God's sake can we just get in the cars and go!" Nate whines, pulling his keys out. Good idea, Nate.
"Yeah, let's go, Tessa," I say loudly, heading for my car before anyone else can protest. I don't hear her footsteps behind me, but I'm not leaving until she's sitting in my car. "Tessa!"
I get the doors unlocked and wait at the passenger's side, giving her an expectant look. I leave the door open for her and step around the front of the car, ignoring the others as they watch this scene play out. I don't hear what Steph tells her as I climb into the driver's seat.
A weight lifts off my chest as Tessa starts for my car, and climbs in without another word.
I notice she tugs at the bottom of her dress when she sits down, and I find it more distracting than if she had just left it. We sit in a tense silence for a few moments before I throw my car in reverse and speed off. I don't wait for her to buckle up—now that I have her alone, we have much to talk about; this last week without her was torture, and seeing her this dressed up is taking a toll on my self-control.
"What's with the new look?" I ask once we hit the freeway. My car is exceeding seventy-five already, and I don't intend to slow down.
"Um… well, Steph wanted to try something new with me, I guess." She mumbles, looking straight ahead. If I weren't so annoyed with Steph right now, maybe I'd thank her. I nearly collapsed on the goddamn floor when she walked into Blind Bob's—not that she needs any of this stuff on her face, but the clothes… fuck.
"It's a little over-the-top, don't you think?" I ask without much thought. She must have felt uncomfortable, especially amongst all the attention. I could stare at her all day, but I would ruin anyone else that tried to give her more attention than me.
And right now, Zed is the top contender for my fist through his face.
"You didn't have to drive me home," Tessa sighs, her voice comes off exhausted, and she leans further into the door to put space between us.
"Don't get so defensive; all I'm saying is your little makeover is a little extreme."
"Well, good thing I don't care what you think, but considering your distaste for my usual appearance, I'm surprised you don't think I look better like this," She snaps. I can't help the chuckle that escapes—she claims she doesn't care what I think, but if that were true she wouldn't have tried to use Zed to get even with me.
The only noise in the car is my radio, but I turn it off so the silence makes her talk. "I never said there was anything wrong with your appearance. Your clothes, yes, but I'd much rather see the hideous long skirts than these clothes." Selfishly, I only tell her this because I want to be the only one who sees her body. If she dressed like this for me, I wouldn't see a problem with her appearance. She remains quiet, and I glance over to see her eyes are closed and her chest is rising and falling at a slow pace. "Did you hear me, Tessa?" I ask, reaching over to touch her. She jerks in her seat, smacking my hand away immediately.
"Yes, I did. I just don't have anything to say about it. If you don't like the way I'm dressed, then don't look at me," Tessa snaps, giving me a harsh look.
"That is precisely the problem here, isn't it? That I can't stop looking at you," I tell her.
"Oh! Please!" She scoffs loudly, shaking her head. I can tell she's missing my point.
"What? It's true. I approve of the new clothes, but you don't need all this makeup. Regular girls wear tons of makeup to look as good as you do without it."
"You don't expect me to thank you, do you?" She half-laughs, annoyed with me.
"Why didn't you tell them the truth about Landon and me?" I ask her then. This question has been burning in the back of my mind since her curious eyes found mine at the mention of the fight.
"Because you obviously didn't want them to know," she states, surprising me again.
"Still, why would you keep my secrets?"
"Because they are not mine to tell."
She really is too good of a person to put up with all of my shit. I glance over at her, meeting her eyes and I smile a little, "I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, considering what I did with Noah."
"Yeah, well, I am not you." Tessa mutters, looking away again. She's right—she's not me, or anything like me. I find her kindness like a light in the dark—my darkness, to be exact. She doesn't showcase her kindness for praise or to be better than another person, she just simply is. And yet, she still puts up with the likes of me.
"No, no you're not," I say, more to myself than to her but I know she heard me in this small space. We remain silent for the rest of the drive and when we finally pull onto the campus, I park in the farthest spot possible from the dorms. I catch a flicker of annoyance on Tessa's face when I look over at her. She's quick to unbuckle the belt and reach for the door handle.
I don't want her to go. I touch her thigh again, finding a sense of calmness when I do.
"You're not going to thank me?" I ask, teasing. Tessa shakes her head.
"Thanks for the ride," she says sarcastically, before stepping out of the car. I hear her comment, though she tries to mutter it under her breath, "Hurry back—Molly's waiting."
I response on instinct, pissed off that this conversation has changed nothing. "Yeah… I better. She sure is fun when she's drunk," I smirk. Why does she have to be so difficult?
Tessa turns around, leaning down to look through the window. I roll it down, expecting her anger to roll off in waves but instead she gives me a smirk of her own, and says, "Yeah, I'm sure she is. Noah is coming soon anyway."
I can't tell if she is lying or not, but her words hit me all the same. I narrow my eyes at her, but quickly recollect myself. I pick at my nails, like what she had just said doesn't bother some part of me, "He is?"
"Yep, see you around," Tessa smiles, turning away and heading for the dorms. I'm hoping that she's lying, but what if she isn't? Why is her tool of a boyfriend still in the picture anyway?
After exposing our endeavors the first time, any man in their right mind would have sent her ass to the curb.
"Wait!" I call after her, jumping out of the car. I am only a few feet away when she turns to face me, and I have nothing to say anymore. "I… never mind, I thought you um, dropped something but you didn't."
Tessa looks down, annoyed, and when she does look back up at me I can see something in her mind has changed.
"Bye, Hardin." I catch the tone in her voice, and I don't like it one bit. I need to leave her alone, and forget about all of this. I need to forget her, but I know that's not possible. She's so far under my skin, it's ridiculous.
I need a drink.