Hellsing is a big well-covered organization. It is also famous among the royal knights for its monster. He is an ancient, strong, unbeatable, maniac nosferatu, Alucard. Sometime they wonder how that young Lady Hellsing deals with her vampire pet.
Well, they just don't know that punishment works better than reward for Alucard's case.
Stay there!
In Integra's office.
"Alucard! How could you do this? Three reporters with not even a single drop of blood left in them? Again?" She shouted hopelessly.
"I've told them, master! I hate their flash light!"
"Still, you didn't have to kill them!"
"Maybe I should pose for them. A strip one. Would you want some, Master?"
Integra didn't amused by his lame joke. She's silent for a moment.
"Alucard, it's getting serious. I have to punish you." She said in a serious tone.
"Yeah, shoot me. Or bound me in that dark room. That would do." He said cynically and produced a large grin on his face.
Integra just silent for a minute. And then she said in a low tone,
"You have to stay in my office for a week, start from the day after tomorrow. You may dismiss now." She said with a sigh, and Alucard melted with that huge grin.
Five days later,
"Umm… Walter, do you know umm… where Master is? I don't see him around lately." Ask Ceras when she saw the butler.
"Well, he has to stay in Sir Integra's office for this whole week. As a punishment."
"Eh, punishment? Um… Well, I don't understand, what would that do for Master?" She asked in curiosity.
"Well, Lady Integra has her monthly cycle –PMS –since three days ago. And she orders him to stay still at the corner." Said Walter shook his head slowly, "I pity him."
"Poor Master." Said Ceras, and they became silent, listened to a loud desperate roar of a suffered vampire.
Author blah blah: Yeah, that would do. I know it silly, but I almost can imagine how would Alucard face this suffering (the author say this in an evil grin).