A/N: Hello followers, Yes, I have rewritten this beautifully dark one-shot. SO, please read at your own risks if you are against the mentioning of suicide or are sensitive to detailed gore. However, if you are a sucker for really heart wrenching stories, then please read. Again. Go read 'Was it Worth your Love' if you are NaLu fan, and like the concept of Natsu transforming into E.N.D.

ENJOY!

FlashStepX~

WE LOVE YOU...

It's been a while, since he felt this… A trembling hand wavered over his chest, his heart. It burned with an aching pain, a certain void that cannot be sutured by petty human words…. His very existence was the worst of wounds and he knew it. His eyes glazed over, not focusing entirely on his sense of direction as the forest surrounding him became thicker and further away from civilization. His hand flopped uselessly to his side again, mind reeling as he acknowledged all the facts about himself. He had become someone who wore his face, his clothing… a husk would be putting it lightly. His feet stuttered to a sloppy stop, face blank of emotion. He knew he could some day- potently get over the horrendous brutalities he was forced to commit. His chin wobbled, a flash of emotion caved his impassive mask before the walls were built back up once again.

Blurred edges of his vision, blood and screams. Claws sinking to tender, delicate flesh and the overwhelming smell of burning flesh filled his nostrils. Angry shouts, desperate shouts and cries of love for him to come back to…. blonde hair and a soft smile.

He felt the familiar sting at the back of his eyes, however, tears these days did not get far. He would not allow it. One thing for sure that had not changed was the stubbornness of letting himself deal with his own emotional baggage, he can not let the other's worry. It is his problems.

Trudging further into the forest, with nothing particular to look forward too, Natsu reached back up towards his chest. This time he dug his nails into the clothed flesh, just over his heart as he fought with himself over the decision he had made prior to this escapade. His legs began to take shorter strides, his boots barely lifting off the ground, the implication tormented him. He… didn't want to live anymore. The thought had circled around his mind for months, all because he rather not sit around his friends and family like things between them had not happen. That everything was forgiven and forgotten, that everything was Ok. That he had not hurt them, or that he was something that they worked hard as mages to get rid of and prevent. It took him a split second to recognize the wetness soaking his cheeks, pinching his chin before falling onto his hand that still clung to his chest. His walk came to a full stop then.

The forest was dense enough, far away enough, quiet enough. He reached up to wipe away the tears, but as he wiped them away more came. Frustration and annoyance at his lack of control smothered what was truly brewing under his heated flesh. With ferocity, he began to scrub his face with the palm of his hand, his throat choked as he withheld the sobs. The tears kept coming. That was when his strength wavered, tilted and understanding dawned. He could not do it anymore, he had tried. For months. This feeling inside him, it was killing him. It was like something cracked inside him and the first real sob shook his frame with its force, his breathing becoming boarder line erratic as he let -what he hid- out. Understandably enough, those innocent sobs of a frighten teenager quickly turned to wrenching screams, of agony, frustration, confusion, self-hatred for himself raged war inside his chest. He screamed for all he was worth as a human, his hands drawn up into white knuckled fists as he snapped his head backwards and screamed. The amount of emotional pressure he was releasing had weakened his seal, it burned painfully on the soft skin of his forehead. Shining a searing white as his appearance began to alter, his jaw clicked shut before the low noise of teeth gritting against each other resounded in the Dragon-Slayers ears. His face crumbled, more gut-wrenching sobs bubbled from his choked and sore esophagus. Thick, inky-black horns grew grotesquely from the base of his hairline, causing a flow of blood to crawl down his ashen face. He suddenly let out an animalistic wail as his body threw itself backwards, twisting violently as the horrific sound of muscle and bone crunched, shoved aside unnaturally and shredded itself to make room for the growth of his wings. His back shuddered, hands up clawing at his face as he screamed in pain from the transformation. Just at the base of his shoulder blades, the flesh bulged to a frightening peak before Natsu's legs buckled, the smell of blood was heavy in the air as the fully formed appendages burst out. Skin, muscle and tissue sprayed outwards. His head bowed, body trembling with pain and exhaustion. Tears wet the ground below him, his eyes tremoring as he watched his hands morph before him, into the blacken skin, deformed talons.

Bent over in his place was a disformed creature, no longer the Fire Dragon-Slayer of Fairy Tail, instead; E.N.D the Guild Master of Tartaros. Watery crimson orbs fluttered, eyelashes spiked with salted water. The side of his wrist came up to wipe them away, his chest ached as he pulled them away to see his tears were bloody. A sickening trait of Demons, because they don't cry. His shoulders sagged even more, Natsu just felt defeated, from avoiding and pretending. He acknowledged his late brother's outlook on life, how it felt to live for a long time and not being able to rest. His thoughts were so deep, melancholy that he had not noticed the group of people that appeared behind him.

"Natsu," It startled the male, enough that his first instinct was to flee, so his body launched itself upwards onto unsteady legs. His throat closed off his pitiful whining, back faced away from whoever spoke. His wings expanded, flapping once, before folding in against his shoulders with a sickening crack, "Don't, all we want is to talk. Please, turn around."

The Dragon-Slayer stared out into the forest, heart pounding as recognition slapped him in his face. He knew that voice, and the knowledge that he had said 'we' as in plural was not lost to his exhausted mind. How? How did they find him? He made sure to double check his surroundings, made sure to bring up a valid excuse for his absence today… so how? His hands clenched and unclenched, just before he slowly turned around, heavily, keeping his head bowed.

"H-How… How did you find out?" He winced at the hoarseness of his voice, the shakiness to it that gave almost everything away. He continued to stare down at the ground, body ridged with tension and fear. The fear of seeing their disappointed, sad and helpless faces... He clenched his jaw.

"We've known for awhile..." The voice was female this time, someone else. His head jerked to the side, mind trying to recognize it and match it to a face, "I was the one to pick up the pieces you kept signaling, so when you lied about a mission yesterday…"

Mira, the speaker was Mirajane. Typical. Natsu didn't know what to say to the confession that he was a terrible liar, that he made his emotions so obvious. It was frustrating, all his perfect planning was for nothing, was never worth it. That did it, his head snapped upwards to give what they wanted, swollen crimson eyes whirled with pain and a scary blankness. The dried tear tracks tainted with traces of blood, a face trying to keep from crumbling was enough for them. He watched their faces shift, the sorrow that painted them, how the men tensed, and women covered their mouths. They all came. Makarov stood at the front, his teammates on either side of him, the rest were mingling in the back but see able. Everyone all at once had some sort of horror that flickered behind their eye before it was replaced with empathy. Natsu tilted his head, a painful smile flicker itself across his pale features, the spark in his eyes missing. The sight of his misery, it was a depth of disturbance that quickly over shadowed his current appearance. They could care less about his appearance.

Natsu's throat was dry when his eyes connected with his Guild Master, hands becoming clammy with nerves, "Gramps."

Makarov for his part, simply softened his stance. Took in the true nature his child was with wary, but loving eyes. Natsu was gorgeous, handsome with his piercing ruby-like eyes; the top of his head was bathed with ashen locks, salmon pigment lost. As his colorless mane swayed lightly in the breeze, the Guild Master's gaze settled on the contrasting horns that were nestled by his hairline, strands covering the entry points. They were not long in length but had a slight curve at the end. Another odd thing was the demonic markings that mapped over Natsu's tan skin, swirling up onto the right side of his face. Just as he was finishing up his scan, Natsu's wings flapped involuntarily. They were leathery, smooth with red scales peppered onto the wing structure, the pattern also traveled up and under Natsu's eyes and forehead. Makarov was aware that they would look majestic at full capacity when Natsu flew. Lastly, the talons, which were tainted black. They were a solid inch in length and faded into Natsu's normal skin color haft-way up his forearm. This was a secret that no one knew about, not even Natsu, himself. It was cruel. It changed, broke and corrupted the young male in ways that nobody could even fathom.

"It was Mirajane saw, but that did not mean all of us did. Today, we want to understand why you hid? Put up those walls of…" Makarov's voice had started of soft, reassuring but it pitched at the end before fading off. Natsu stayed silent at these words. Understanding was something he wanted at a chance at, but it angered him…. that they were doing it now! After everything, the hurt and fear that still flashed across their faces whenever they acknowledged who he actually was. What he was… Yeah, okay; maybe they truly did not clue in on his own pain level towards the situation, but of the times too come and comfort him! The Dragon-Slayer zeroed back in when Lucy let out a sharp inhale, her hands brought up to rest against her chest, liquid brown eyes wide.

His anger had leaked out onto his face, a dark scowl accentuated, intensified his demonic features. His crimson eyes were slitted, magic boiling underneath his heart, and festering just beneath his skin. He realize the action was just making look the part, so he lessen his scowl into a softer version with less heat behind it. He was still upset.

"Because of your fears," He whispered, which got the reactions he was looking for to confirm his own thoughts. They looked uncomfortable, guilty and sorrowful. He hated that word, sorrow, "I hid because you still feared a lot of things that happen that day. I hid because I hate worrying others, it's a known fact. I'm a Demon called E.N.D and was created by my own sibling that I didn't know I had. I'm Zeref Dragneel's little brother, Natsu Dragneel. However, I'm pretty sure you guys already know that. Today, I couldn't even hide my own attempt at suicide…. Because you happened to clue in on my misery and followed me. Ridiculous honestly."

The confession was a punch to the hearts of everyone present, the way Natsu said it was casual, blunt like he did not see the wrongness of his thoughts. Or words. Makarov's face was grave as he stared at the Dragon-Slayer who had dropped his gaze to the ground again. Lucy felt cold sink through her heart, seizing the fresh air from her lungs as she came to reality, that Natsu had wanted to kill himself today. That the only thing that stopped his advancements were their interruption, their realization to how badly he was beating himself up over something he was forced into. She trembled as the tears started to roll and would not stop. Beside her, Erza was stone. The Scarlet Knight was coursing with horror that refused to be expressed, instead her face was perfectly blank. Despite the silent tears that slipped down her cheeks. Gray was a different story, he was seething with anger. The Slayer was a hypocrite, a liar towards his own words. Meanwhile, Happy was in shook. The prospected that if they had not followed, his partner would have been gone, taken because they were idiots for not confronting him earlier. It was enough to shake the wits out of the rest of the Guild, they could have lost their family member to depression.

Makarov licked his lips, stance becoming straight and imposing with authority. His eyes were stern when he spoke. "Natsu, things have been difficult, I understand. Although your way out is not going to do anyone, any good, it's just going to fester like fire; burn and hurt others for a long time."

A chuckle escaped the Slayer's mouth, it was than that they noticed he was playing with something that was hooked on his belt loop. Something metallic. Makarov paled, Gray's anger dissipated into fear. A pocket knife. Natsu raised his head, the amused smile that should have been there was not, instead a choking sob shook his shoulders, his tears stained his skin as he crumbled in front of them. Makarov felt his own fear spike when Natsu unclipped the pocket knife from his belt, his fingers curling around the wooden handle like a life line.

"It hurt so much," Natsu sobbed, a wet cough caused pain to blossom in his chest as he raised the knife. Makarov took a step forwards when the knife came to close to the Dragon-Slayer's throat, however, Natsu lowered it and began to twist it. Observing it. His tears did not last long, but the heavy breath was enough to know he was still on edge. Erza exhaled a shaky breath, Lucy reached over to grab her hand as they observed their precious person break.

"What hurt you?" Makarov questioned, his hands sweating when Natsu dropped his hand, knife with it, "Talk to us, at the most we do not care if you are E.N.D, we love you all the same. Nothing, nothing will change that."

"The pretending, the avoidance. W-Why? I f-felt alone like I-I was the only one who still felt misery, guilt about things that people said was not my fault! But its w-was! You pretend that the War did not happen, everybody s-smiled and laughed!" He nearly shouted, his voice hanging on a higher pitch as his eyes burned with hurt and confusion, "I s-struggled to understand if I s-should have been doing the same. Go back to being happy!"

Makarov's heart cracked, the stuttering words and unsureness was enough to break any parent. Natsu was blaming himself, he was hurt by their decision to go back to normalcy when all he wanted was confrontation and closure. Maybe that was what they should have done. His eyes snapped back towards the Dragon-Slayer when Natsu began to speak again, but this time his tone was impassive.

"You know what Gramps, Everyone," He began, "I'm over 400 years old and I remember everything. I have from the moment when E.N.D's book was open, I felt like something was pieced back together and I became so tired. The things I did in the past cannot be erased, it haunts me every waking hour and I'm sick of it. Sick of memories that should have been mine to begin with…I just want it to be over…. I understand now the pain my brother, Zeref, had gone through." A couple people flinched at the harshness in which he spoke about himself. Other's were speechless. Makarov felt the first prick of tears when he registered the clear message in the Dragon-Slayer's words. He felt sick to his stomach.

Let me go, please

"Give me the knife, Nats-." The Guild Master said as steadily as he could, his voice choked on the Slayer's name when said boy flinched at the request. He held the handle that much tighter and moved away from his reaching hand, eyes clouded with pain was the only thing Makarov could look into. His child was suffering, hurting and could not see the light from where he stood in his depression, and all he hoped was Natsu would understand their refusal to letting him go, "Please my c-child, give me the k-knife."

Natsu stared at Makarov for some time, before look down at the knife. Gray felt his muscles prepare themselves as he watch his friend consider their Guild Master once again, the fear was brutal as Natsu lifted the knife, blade down and dropped his head. His snow-white hair concealing his expression, however, they did not have to wait long. A spine-chilling laugh bubbled from the Dragon-Slayer's throat, it was a hysterical laughter as he swayed back and forth, and with quick reflexes Natsu whirled the blade in his hand to lay on an angle and raised his other wrist up against it. Lucy let out a scream, Erza tensed, and Gray was just about to start running forwards. Happy by this point was wailing.

"WAIT!" Makarov shouted, face pale with fear as he saw the action. His breathing was less controlled, heart pounding wildly in his ears. Throat dry, "Please, let us h-help you…"

That was the wrong thing to say, something snapped inside the Dragon-Slayer as his eyes shrunk in his sockets, a wild look crossed his face. It was insanity, as silent tears streamed down his cheeks, hooked on his chin before falling. His hand that held the knife wobbled with indecision.

"OUT OF ALL THE THINGS I JUST TOLD YOU!" He screamed, a vein throbbed at the base of his neck angrily, "You still want to keep me in this world, hello! I've been through so much, enough that I can't take it anymore! I tried to hold on, I did, but it became something not even I could handle! LET ME GO!" Lucy slowly slid to the ground with the weight of her sobs, it was horrible. She always viewed her best friend as a strong, indestructible person… but now she understood that nobody was like that, everyone at the end of the day were human and vulnerable. It was terrifying to hear the way Natsu basically admitted he wanted to die, and it was too much to bare knowing that. It hurt.

The Fire mage's frustration peaked when Makarov shook his head, Natsu screamed such profound things into the air. His hands came up to tug at his hair, the knife forgotten as he turned away from them. Makarov let his tears of sadness, and failure fall. Natsu paced away from them as he sobbed, screamed, and kicked the dirt. He wanted to die. Did he not? It was like a switch as his emotions tied themselves up as he stared down at the knife in his hand, his thoughts on the way he would slice his neck…he wanted to…

By now Makarov took in his child's still form and felt hope blossom in his chest for a split second. Natsu turned back around then, his face crumbled and broken as the seal on his forehead glowed softly before dying down.

"H-Help me…p-please." The knife dropped to the forest floor, Natsu collapsed with it, his body thudding like dead weight. Eyes half mass as he sobbed, his body curling in on itself as he pleaded helplessly, "Please, please…p-please."

Makarov and the others were quick to run over to him, and as they neared, they watched his transformation recede. Makarov exhaled in relief as he reached up to wipe his eyes, his legs giving out as he knelt beside his child. Gray walked over and kicked the knife out of the unstable Slayer's reach, his eyes dark and wary. Everyone else knelt in unison, hands reaching out desperately to offer their support and comfort to the broken boy. Lucy scooted closer to place her hands-on top of his, where he had them wrapped around his own self, words of his regret spilled out as she held on.

"I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry." Lucy's face creased with sorrow as Natsu's chest heaved, shoulders shaking violently with each sob, she leaned down.

"Shh." She whispered, her other hand that was not occupied, reached over to card her fingers into his salmon locks. That seemed to calm his hysteria somewhat, as his swollen eyes opened a bit more to connect with her own. She tilted her head to keep the connect easier for him, in his certain position. She kept carding her fingers and as his sobs became less erratic and uneven, she said what he needed to hear, "I love you. We love you."

All he could do was nod, Lucy let go of his hand then and shushed him softly when his face flooded with panic and fear. Her hands reached out for his shoulders and gave a light pressure to them to get her message across, his body slowly unfurled, and he tried to rise up. Lucy guided him with no questions and when he was in a steady sitting position, she wrapped him in a bone crushing hug. Her face buried into his chest, her tears soaking his shirt, tears of utter relief.

"S-Stay." She sobbed, however, it was quite muffled; Natsu still heard it and withered a bit as he leaned over and hugged her back. His face was flushed from his crying, eyes sore and throat hoarse. He nodded. Lucy bowed their heads to press their foreheads together, and warmth blossomed in his heart. Just than Lucy let go and slowly scooted back from her spot beside him, in relation Natsu cautiously up. Erza was now in Lucy's place; her own eyes were swollen as she smiled at him. She carefully laid his head against the cold metal of her chest plate, chin resting softly against the crown of his head.

"We love you, as long as we are able, I love you. I'm sorry we never express it the way we should have after the battle." She whispered, her arms that wrapped around him, tighten. Natsu felt more tears build up, gathering and burning his tired eyes. He nodded. Erza pushed him softly back, and to his surprise, she kissed his forehead before pressing her's against his. Tears rolled down his cheeks, a watery smile lightening up his features. Erza beamed. Gray walked over then, the pocket knife hidden in his back pocket, and lowered to his knees before the Dragon-Slayer. He too, pressed his forehead lovingly to the Fire mage's.

"I see where we went wrong. I love you, we all do. We love you for you, appearances should not matter to family. And… Hey, Flame-brain," Natsu looked at Gray with glassy eyes, the ice-mage reached out and flicked his chin upwards a little, "Chin up."

Natsu smiled as he nodded, accepting their words, and to his relief the void in his chest became less painful, less noticeable. Happy was the last one to come forwards, the Exceeds chin wobbled when they met eyes. Natsu felt guilty then as he reached out to run his hands over the cat's head, which steadied Happy a bit. He jumped up on Natsu's folded knee's, eyes watery as he reached up and grabbed Natsu's face with his paws.

"We love you. You will always be forgiven, loved. We will always be there to accept your flaws; no matter how bad they may be. We are family, first, and foremost and you will always be a part of it! I love you." Happy bobbed him on the nose, the equivalent to a forehead touch. It was than that everyone crowd around him, and he was wrapped in thousands of hugs. Natsu did not know when his tears would stop, but it was not soon as he choked on them. When the hugging ceased, Natsu smiled shyly, his hands folded in his lap. Everyone rose to their feet's, pulling Natsu along with them, as they stared at the Dragon-Slayer with their bright beating heart on their sleeves as they spoke as one.

"WE LOVE YOU, NASTU! They shouted, eyes soft and smiled heartwarming, Natsu was shell shocked before even more tears fell as he struggled to control them, he scrubbed before lifting his head with a watery grin.

"Thank you". So much.

Months of misery, a void of nothingness that lingered inside his heart was banished, and the wound was beginning to heal. He stared up at the sky, he was himself again, he felt whole. Because he had people to be with, have fun with, fight with. As long as he knowledge this fact, he would put his dark period behind him and live for the friends that surrounded him… because they understood and loved him.

They loved him.