Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've put a story up here.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! The Great holy people (MGM for example) own it all.
This is shortly after a mission, that didn't quite go as expected.
Samantha stood in the shower, letting water wash over her, she'd been in there for an hour already, but at the moment time had no relevance. She refused to let her mind think about what had happened, and what had nearly happened. She concentrated on the water, on the sound of the water, refused for the first time in her life to think. "Sam you in here?" Janet's concerned voice called out from the doorway. Her first instinct was to remain in the shower and say nothing, but then thought better of it. "Yeah Janet, I'll be out in a minute." Janet heard emotion in Sam's voice, though she could also hear that Sam was trying to hide it. "Are you okay Samantha?" Janet asked toward the shower. "I'm fine," she heard the pause afterwards hang in the uncertain air, "really, I'm fine." She wanted to scream No, I'm not, don't believe me! She knew better though. Turning off the water she ducked her head out from behind the shower curtain and managed to give Janet a fake small smile. "Alright," Janet said, though Sam could obviously here the doubt in her word, " If you need to talk or just want someone to hang around, I'm here Sam, you know that right?" "I know, and I appreciate it." Janet nodded and walked out closing the door behind her. Samantha closed her eyes, forcing back the tears and the fears. She toweled herself dry, put on civilian clothes, and left the base. She had decided not to say good night to Daniel, who was in the infirmary for a broken arm and a cracked rib, or Jack who was in the infirmary keeping Daniel company. She was kind of happy Teal'c was off world, because he would have instantly knew that something was wrong, just like her teammates would if they took one look at her eyes.
She found herself at O'Malley's an hour later, after having driven around town for a while. She didn't want any food or a drink, but she knew that if she was left alone something might happen. She sat at a corner table for what seemed like an hour, indulging herself in a glass of wine, trying to keep her thoughts back into the recesses of her mind. She drained the last drop a half hour later, and had a depressing realization. She was surrounded by people, but felt so alone. The rational part of her mind told her that it was depression, caused by the mission and the nearly irreversible and tragic event, but the emotional and irrational part of her mind quickly cut the 'techno babble' and had Sam on her way out the door, after having paid for the wine of course.
She drove out of town, she had no clue where she was going, but she drove. The rational part of her mind tried to find a good argument to bring it back into control. It told her loudly, this isn't like me, I don't run from problems, I fix them! The other part of her mind shuddered at the realization, but it had a good comeback, this has never happened before! How else would I react to this horrible vulnerability?
Samantha's car came to a stop on the side of the road and she got out of her car leaving her jacket and car keys in the vehicle and began walking. She stopped at a bridge a couple miles from her vehicle. The rational part of her mind was struggling with the situation, begging her to stop, begging her to do something to stop herself, anything. Tears streamed down her face as she stepped on to the bridge and began walking to the center railing. There was a small overhang, just enough so a person could stand on the edge contemplating.
"Carter left?" Jack asked Janet, confusion and worry showing in his eyes immediately. "She was in the shower for an hour, she almost didn't respond when I asked if she was in there. I asked her if she was okay, and she said she was fine. I left it at that, I didn't think that she would just leave." "She didn't even come say good bye, not a 'good night' or 'take care' or 'I'm going out'," Daniel sat up in the bed, worry showing in his every movement, "she could be anywhere." Janet nodded, "I already looked at her apartment, she's not there, she's not here on base, and she's not on another planet. Her vehicle is no where to be found." Jack felt like screaming, why would she just disappear? When he had read the mission file she had wrote, he had felt like there was a huge part missing, not anything noticeable that people who didn't know Sam would see, but something missing. "She didn't say anything to anyone?" Jack asked concern ringing in his voice, "this is unlike Sam." Things started to click in Janet's mind, and she didn't like where the logic was taking her. "Janet, what is it?" Jack asked seeing things click together in her eyes. "She said that those bruises were caused from flying debris, no one doubted what she said." "Janet," Jack asked again, not liking the thought process, "what bruises?" "She had some bruises on the side of her left neck and shoulder, she also had a bruise on her right wrist," Janet said gesturing to those areas with her hands.
Samantha's rational mind had turned to nothing more than a whisper when she had taken that step outside of the railing; it was crying now begging her to stop, to turn back before that option was totally gone. Her irrational mind didn't say anything now, but images of what had happened, of the almost rape, ran through her mind over and over again. Tears streamed down her face, her fingers reached for her cell phone, the last wish of her rational mind. She pressed one number; her speed dial did the rest. She heard Jack's voice; worry overlaid it sending more tears down her face. "Sam," was the first word out of his mouth, it was a question, a comment, a plea. "Help me, I can't…I can't do this, I need you." "Where are you?" that's the only question he asked. "The old bridge," she said her hands trembling. "I'll be right there Sam." As her cell phone closed and was put back into her pocket, sobs racked her body.
Jack left immediately, his face conveying what Janet and Daniel needed to know. He passed her car his heart pounding in his chest, a sinking feeling controlling his stomach. He got out of his truck, and raced toward the bridge, as he got closer the image of Samantha on the edge of the bridge looking over nearly drove him insane. "Sam," he said, when her head turned slowly toward him, his heart almost broke. Her voice was filled with sobs, "I can't do this on my own," tears ran down her face unchecked. His hands were on her arms immediately. "Come here," he nearly whispered half pulling her back to the other side of the rail. "Jack," she whispered lowering her eyes. "I'll always be here for you Sam, always," his arms wrapped around her, his face going to the crook of her neck as her arms wrapped around his neck, tears streaming down her face, sobs raking her body. "I'm sorry," she cried over and over again. "You're safe now, everything's going to be alright," he said holding her tighter.
Neither of them knew how long they stood there, holding each other, finding strength and comfort and hope in each other's embrace, but to them it didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was safe, that she was loved and worried about, and that he had come after her, that he had saved her, and in a way…she had saved him.