A/N: Tee-hee. For an English assignment, we had to write a story that included a sheep, a potato, aliens, and an elephant, as well as our 15 spelling vocabulary words (analogous, equine, contingent, diverse, eloquence, fickle, impasse, listless, obstinate, pompous, quell, scrutinize, unerring, virulent, voluble). So here's mine. We find out how in the world Tom Riddle became evil. *grins* It's quite...er...different. Keep in mind I turned this in...
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"We here at the London Zoo have a diverse range of animals, such as the rare Brunni sheep..." the balding tour guide droned on. LIttle Tommy stood impatiently, his toe tapping inside old, dirty shoes.
"Miss Hannyghan? I wanna see the elephants!" he whined, pouting his seven year old face.
"Oh...yes, Tommy. Only, hold on a moment while we listen to the nice man," his orphanage director said, not really paying much attention to the fickle child. "Just listen to his eloquance!" she muttered to herself.
As his "mother" stood, watching the tubby man speak, ever obstinate Tommy decided to see the elephants all by himself.
"Hmm...the picture is pointed that way!" And so young Tommy toddled off in search of his beloved Dumbo.
Meanwhile, on planet Bodlz, the Commander spoke pompously to his troops.
"SOLDIERS!" he shouted in Bodlzish [translated here for your benefit ;)] "Today we embark on an amazing mission; a mission that may very well help our planet more than you could ever imagine. I'm sure you are all aware of the disastisfaction among the citizens due to our lack of fish and chips." Many of the nodded emphatically at this. "Mmm...fish and chips..." Commander Pawl closed his eyes and moved his jaw, losing track of himself.
"Sir?"
"Oh! Right...We must be UNERRING in our mission! CONSTANT VIGILANCE," the aliens jumped, "is needed to make sure this goes off without a hitch. Placing one of our rank in the guise of a young child should be easy. The Earthlings will never suspect a change, and the fish and chips will be ours!!!"
Commander Pawl laughed evilly, content upon knowing the planet's supply of fish and chips would soon be within his posession.
****
Tommy quickly walked past the sheep and zebras, giraffes and equine donkeys in the Petting section, on the way to his favorite animal -- the elephant.
Far from being analogous, or alike, the group of elephants clearly had one misfit. And this misfit, this listless, unhappy grey bag of skin, was Dumbo, the elephant Tommy so loved.
****
"Have you packed the potato seeds in the storage bay, private?" asked the Commander, carefully scrutinizing a checklist.
"Er...I was just about to, you see..." the young one blanched, afraid of the Commander's quick temper. Seen as unimportant to the "cause", Pawl had quelled aliens for less than this.
jumped "You NEGLECTED your duty? The entire MISSION is contingent upon this one simple act, and you cannot complete it?" the tall Commander's mouth showed angry, virulent fangs, and his eyes turned a reddish tint. "Tell me," he said, his voice now soft, "what grows from a potato seed?"
"P-potatoes." said the youth, not quite sure where the leader was going.
"And what can be made out of potatoes?"
"Fish and chips, sir."
"And where are the best fish and chips in the Milky Way manufactured?"
"Earth, sir. England, to be exact."
"Yes. The Urbaawwians try, but they just CAN'T get the spices right!" shrieked the Commander, rubbing an imaginary piece of dirt in his eye, it now turning a blood-red shade.
And as the leader thought dreamily of English fish and chips, the not voluble soldier slipped away.
****
Tommy tugged as hard as his lean body could at the impasse at the gate to the elephants.
"I wanna get in!" he screamed, near to crying. Behind him, a creature moved. Before Tommy could react, he was in a space ship, chains binding him to the wall.
"Greetings, earthling." A pale, tall alien, the Com loomed above him.
"Huh?" Tommy not having the benefits of a translating narrator, couldn't understand what the scary man was saying.
"Oh, right." Pawl flipped a switch on the panel. "Greetings, earthling. TAKE US TO YOUR FISH AND CHIPS!"
"Mmm...fish and chips..." Tommy trailed off.
"I think we're going to get along just fine, kid, so long as you follow my instructions. Giimq, turn on the cloning machine." The Commander pointed a long, spidery finger at a female-type creature against the wall.
"Ay, ay, sir!" With a flick of the switch, another Tommy, exact in every detail, appeared.
"Whoa!" said the real Tommy, in awe.
"Thank you, human. Now, Cyppm, we will transfer your essense into the shell." A listless citizen, well known for being a loner, stepped up to the faux Tommy, and the procedure went underway.
A few minutes later, Commander Pawl decreed the transfer complete. "And now, no one can stop us! The Fish and Chips SHALL BE OURS!!"
And so the new and "improved" Tom Marvolo Riddle returned to earth, ready to strike.
To be continued...
****
A/N: Yup. Off the wall, as I said. But rather funny at parts, I thought. *grins* So review, please? Because the aliens are ready to strike... *grins even wider* So should I continue this or just thank my lucky stars I won't fail the assignment? What do you think? Personally, I think its a piece of crap. But that's just my thought. :)
Toodles! ~Mandy
****
"We here at the London Zoo have a diverse range of animals, such as the rare Brunni sheep..." the balding tour guide droned on. LIttle Tommy stood impatiently, his toe tapping inside old, dirty shoes.
"Miss Hannyghan? I wanna see the elephants!" he whined, pouting his seven year old face.
"Oh...yes, Tommy. Only, hold on a moment while we listen to the nice man," his orphanage director said, not really paying much attention to the fickle child. "Just listen to his eloquance!" she muttered to herself.
As his "mother" stood, watching the tubby man speak, ever obstinate Tommy decided to see the elephants all by himself.
"Hmm...the picture is pointed that way!" And so young Tommy toddled off in search of his beloved Dumbo.
Meanwhile, on planet Bodlz, the Commander spoke pompously to his troops.
"SOLDIERS!" he shouted in Bodlzish [translated here for your benefit ;)] "Today we embark on an amazing mission; a mission that may very well help our planet more than you could ever imagine. I'm sure you are all aware of the disastisfaction among the citizens due to our lack of fish and chips." Many of the nodded emphatically at this. "Mmm...fish and chips..." Commander Pawl closed his eyes and moved his jaw, losing track of himself.
"Sir?"
"Oh! Right...We must be UNERRING in our mission! CONSTANT VIGILANCE," the aliens jumped, "is needed to make sure this goes off without a hitch. Placing one of our rank in the guise of a young child should be easy. The Earthlings will never suspect a change, and the fish and chips will be ours!!!"
Commander Pawl laughed evilly, content upon knowing the planet's supply of fish and chips would soon be within his posession.
****
Tommy quickly walked past the sheep and zebras, giraffes and equine donkeys in the Petting section, on the way to his favorite animal -- the elephant.
Far from being analogous, or alike, the group of elephants clearly had one misfit. And this misfit, this listless, unhappy grey bag of skin, was Dumbo, the elephant Tommy so loved.
****
"Have you packed the potato seeds in the storage bay, private?" asked the Commander, carefully scrutinizing a checklist.
"Er...I was just about to, you see..." the young one blanched, afraid of the Commander's quick temper. Seen as unimportant to the "cause", Pawl had quelled aliens for less than this.
jumped "You NEGLECTED your duty? The entire MISSION is contingent upon this one simple act, and you cannot complete it?" the tall Commander's mouth showed angry, virulent fangs, and his eyes turned a reddish tint. "Tell me," he said, his voice now soft, "what grows from a potato seed?"
"P-potatoes." said the youth, not quite sure where the leader was going.
"And what can be made out of potatoes?"
"Fish and chips, sir."
"And where are the best fish and chips in the Milky Way manufactured?"
"Earth, sir. England, to be exact."
"Yes. The Urbaawwians try, but they just CAN'T get the spices right!" shrieked the Commander, rubbing an imaginary piece of dirt in his eye, it now turning a blood-red shade.
And as the leader thought dreamily of English fish and chips, the not voluble soldier slipped away.
****
Tommy tugged as hard as his lean body could at the impasse at the gate to the elephants.
"I wanna get in!" he screamed, near to crying. Behind him, a creature moved. Before Tommy could react, he was in a space ship, chains binding him to the wall.
"Greetings, earthling." A pale, tall alien, the Com loomed above him.
"Huh?" Tommy not having the benefits of a translating narrator, couldn't understand what the scary man was saying.
"Oh, right." Pawl flipped a switch on the panel. "Greetings, earthling. TAKE US TO YOUR FISH AND CHIPS!"
"Mmm...fish and chips..." Tommy trailed off.
"I think we're going to get along just fine, kid, so long as you follow my instructions. Giimq, turn on the cloning machine." The Commander pointed a long, spidery finger at a female-type creature against the wall.
"Ay, ay, sir!" With a flick of the switch, another Tommy, exact in every detail, appeared.
"Whoa!" said the real Tommy, in awe.
"Thank you, human. Now, Cyppm, we will transfer your essense into the shell." A listless citizen, well known for being a loner, stepped up to the faux Tommy, and the procedure went underway.
A few minutes later, Commander Pawl decreed the transfer complete. "And now, no one can stop us! The Fish and Chips SHALL BE OURS!!"
And so the new and "improved" Tom Marvolo Riddle returned to earth, ready to strike.
To be continued...
****
A/N: Yup. Off the wall, as I said. But rather funny at parts, I thought. *grins* So review, please? Because the aliens are ready to strike... *grins even wider* So should I continue this or just thank my lucky stars I won't fail the assignment? What do you think? Personally, I think its a piece of crap. But that's just my thought. :)
Toodles! ~Mandy