The Wizard of Hogz

Chapter 1: Starting at the Beginning

Great. This is just my luck. If someone had told me this morning that I'd standing so close to Hermione Granger, of all people, and in Dumbledore's office about to go on some weird mission to retrieve some stupid objects that probably aren't even REAL, I'd have laughed my bloody arse off.

Let me start at the beginning.

So today was just another ordinary day, or so I thought when I woke up. I got up, got dressed, made sure I was nothing less than the exact image of perfection, and made my way down to the Great Hall and to the Slytherin table for breakfast. I ate and joked around with Blaise and Pansy, I made fun of Potty and Weasel, and then we all moved on to potions as our first class of the day.

Potions was amusing as always, what with Snape docking points from Gryffindor just for Potter breathing too loudly and "continually disrupting the rest of the class". I have the best godfather in the world.

We moved on to Charms, then Herbology, then to that big oaf's joke of a class. Seriously, they should have fired him when that ghastly hippogriff of his attacked me. But then again, I'm the idiot that provoked him in the first place. Yes, yes, I know I'm the one to be blamed, but I'd never admit it out loud. I do have my pride to maintain.

Anyway, I'm getting off subject. I met up with Blaise and Pansy for lunch, when I noticed that Granger wasn't sitting in her normal spot with Potter and the stalker. Honestly, why can't he just take no for an answer and move on with his life already, instead of following Granger around like a lovesick puppy just hoping that she'll come around? Just take a hint, you git. She's not interested anymore. YOU screwed that up when took that incessant, gold digging, fame seeking, air headed Lavender Brown to bed when Granger didn't just instantly give it up. Come on man. You don't trade a girl like Hermione Granger for a thick cow like LAVENDER BROWN. You just DON'T.

That's all right though. Because Granger deserves so much better than that.

Suddenly, my shoulder is nudged by Blaise. Oh right. I was daydreaming again. I try to look nonchalant and smirk at Blaise, acting like I wasn't thinking about Granger again, but he knows the truth. I think I kind of hate myself a little.

Okay, that's a lie. I'm awesome, and I know it. Too bad Granger doesn't notice. On second thought, who could really blame her? I was nothing but a first class prick to her and her friends for so long. Who knew I'd actually develop feelings for her in third year after she put me in my rightful place and punched the living daylights out of me. That woman can throw a punch.

I'm chuckling at the memory, when Blaise nudges me again. Why can't he just let me live in my fantasy world alone for a bit? Just as I'm about to ask him, he winks and says, "You're looking for Granger, right? She's over there by Dumbledore."

My eyes follow to where he's pointing and sure enough, she's leaning down to Dumbledore, looking very concentrated and determined on whatever he's telling her. He looks up and meets my eyes. I figure he'll just look away, but he holds my gaze steadily with that annoying little twinkle in his eye. Why is he looking at me like that? It's making me uneasy. He mumbles something to Granger and she looks up at me as well. She looks surprised. But there's that determined gleam in her eye again and she nods down to Dumbledore in some kind of understanding.

Are they talking about me? I look away from them and try not to think about it. I finish my lunch hastily and stand up without a word to Blaise and retreat from the Great Hall.

As soon as I get out of there, I lean against the wall. I consider bashing my head against it a few times but quickly decide against it. I wouldn't want to ruin this pretty face of mine.

Butterflies. Granger's simple gaze gave me freaking BUTTERFLIES. I know I've got it bad, I KNOW, okay? I almost feel like I'm going to be sick.

How does she make me feel so nervous? I NEVER get nervous. You would think I would be, after having to share the same home with the darkest wizard of all time, but all THAT did was annoy the crap out of me. That man spends more time in the bathroom than my whole family combined, and that's saying something.

He claims it's because image means everything so he needs to look his best at all times so he could maintain his hold on all his adoring death eaters. Yeah right, he NEEDS to maintain his hold on his sanity because he doesn't even have HAIR.

And to top off that little minor annoyance of having to share a bathroom and home with him, he was always trying to be my best friend. He stayed in the room right across from mine after I told him he couldn't stay in my room and be "roomies" with me. Enter shudder here.

He gets lonely sometimes, and I get that, I really do. But he's also a mouth breather, and a very loud one at that. Well obviously, since he's missing his nose. He didn't find it very amusing when I tried the thumb trick where you pretend to steal a toddlers nose. I did it and said, "Oh look, I got your nose in my hand!"

He responded by giving my neck a hug with his fingers and said, "Oh look, I got your life in my hand."

Drama queen. I only meant it as a joke. And you know, if he's really so great and powerful, then why can't he just summon a new nose or something? Then maybe he'll stop making that weird noise when he tries to sneeze.

And maybe someday he'll learn how to pass the rolls at dinner. I swear he's such a greedy hog. Maybe I wanted a roll with my supper as well, but no, that's just not possible. Which is why I'm so grateful for Hogwarts. This is my much needed escape from that roll hogging lunatic. At least at Hogwarts, I can have all the rolls I want.

Wait, why was I thinking about Moldy Voldy? Oh right, because Hermione gave me those stupid butterflies. Hermione? Oh, I meant Granger! I should really not get comfortable with calling her by her first name in my head. No, screw that, it's MY head. I'll think about whatever the bloody hell I WANT to think about.

I blink and shake my head. I must be losing it, having an argument with myself. I've got to get out of here. I push off from the wall and start heading for the Slytherin common room when a voice stops me dead in my tracks. It's HER.

"Malfoy, wait up!" she calls. Should I ignore her? If I turn around too fast, I might seem desperate for her attention. Wait, no, that's not right. SHE'S the one that called to ME first right? So it would make sense to turn around and see what she wants.

I make the decision to turn around but she reaches me first. She puts her hand on my right shoulder and is gasping for breath. I raise my eyebrow in amusement, which makes her remove her hand. Dang.

"Sorry," she pants. "I almost… just missed you… Dumbledore… important request… office… now."

What? "Calm down and catch your breath first, Granger. Accio cup. Aguamenti." I summon a cup and fill it with water. "Drink," I tell her.

She takes the cup with caution and looks at me doubtfully.

"Drink it," I repeat. "It isn't poisoned. Wizard's honor."

She lifted it to her lips and took a tentative sip before deciding it was safe, which kind of stings me a bit. I'm not known to be the most caring person in the world, but I would never poison her. EVER. I would allow myself to be poisoned before I ever let her even come close to it. Pathetic, ain't I?

She looks at me, quizzically. "You all right, Malfoy?"

Good, she's caught her breath again. "I'm just grand. Didn't you have something to tell me?" Because I sure as heck will not be telling you that your distrust hurts me.

"What? Oh yeah! Dumbledore asked that you and I meet him back in his office because he has a very important task that he needs to be completed. I think it's some kind of Headboy and Headgirl thing, since he's only asking for us."

I frown. "That's odd, but sure. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Actually," she adorably looks down and twirls her fingers nervously. "He was asking for us right away."

What does that old geezer want with us so bad that he can't even wait for five minutes more? I sigh. "Fine."

She gives a relieved smile and we head toward Dumbledore's office.

I keep sneaking peeks at her whenever she isn't looking. Her wild chestnut curls bounce with every step she takes and when a piece of hair falls into her face, she blows up at it with her soft pink rose petal lips. She sucks her bottom lip in with her teeth and nibbles on it for a second before releasing it. I almost moan at the sight. Does she have any idea how incredibly provocative she looks? I mentally kick myself. Get it together, Draco.

When we get to the Gargoyle, Hermione mutters the password and we go in.

As soon as we reach Dumbledore's office, he gestures for us to sit. We take our seats and wait patiently for him to begin.

"Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger," he nods. "I have a most… unusual request of you."

"Well it can't be any weirder than the daunting task of wearing a sombrero and green sequined cape to the Hospital Wing last week to help Madam Pomphrey cheer up those sick first years after that unfortunate Charms incident," I say.

Dumbledore blinks confusedly, while Hermione was trying unsuccessfully to cover up her sudden giggles with a cough.

"Oh, my dear boy, I must apologize for sending Peeves to relay any requests or information to you," Dumbledore cringed. "He was only supposed to ask you to check in with Madam Pomphrey to make sure they were on the road to recovery. I wondered why he never came back that day…"

"WHAT?! They made me do the muggle chicken dance!"

At that, Hermione completely lost it. She was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face.

Great. So much for maintaining the famous Malfoy pride. Well at least I made her laugh. And what a beautiful laugh she has.

Dumbledore clears his throat, regaining our attention. "We'll attend to this matter at a later time. But for now, I have a task that is much more dangerous than a muggle dance, of that I can assure you."

Now THAT got my attention. He wants us to do something dangerous?

"I've chosen yourself and Miss Granger because you are my top two most intelligent students and that intelligence may just save your lives, should you accept."

Intelligence, huh? That must be why he didn't ask for Potter and Weasley. Although I'm still confused as to why he's wanting to send two of his students on such a life endangering mission. Can he even do that?

"I've had three very important artifacts stolen from me and they've been taken to an alternate universe and can be located in the Land of Hogz. I've created two separate portkeys for the both of you. Miss Granger will land in the Foreboding Forest and you, Mr. Malfoy will be transported to a place called E.L.F. where you will retrieve the first item. You will then find Miss Granger awaiting your arrival in the Foreboding Forest to continue the rest of your journey together. You will travel together into the Land of Hogz, and there, you will find the final remaining artifact."

"You keep saying artifacts, but you never actually say WHAT they are. What are we supposed to be looking for? And why can't you go there yourself?" I ask.

"The thief would know the exact moment I got there, if I were the one to go. Then he would flee to another world, being the greedy coward he is. He will never expect the two of you. As for the artifacts… You will know them when you see them."

Cryptic old loon.

I look over to Hermione. "You've been awful silent for all of this," I remark.

She gives me a small smile that makes my heart flutter. "I've already spoken to Professor Dumbledore about it and have agreed to help."

Ah. That's what she must have been talking to Dumbledore about during lunch earlier. Makes much more sense now. Always such a bloody Gryffindor. But if she trusts Dumbledore… "All right, sure. Sign me up."

Dumbledore seems slightly shocked that I would agree so easily. Well if Hermione is going, and from the way Dumbledore's talking, it's going to be pretty dangerous, then that means something could happen to her. I would never be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to her that I might have been able to prevent. No, I'm going. For Hermione. Because I'm an idiot.

"Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, your efforts will be most appreciated. But I must warn you that this will not be a simple or quick task. And I cannot stress to you enough of how dangerous it will be. You must use extreme caution for every second you're there."

"You can count on us, Professor," Hermione proclaimed with no hesitation.

"I know I can. Are you ready to receive your portkeys?"

I gasp like a fish out of water. "Now?! You want us to leave right NOW?! Shouldn't we at least let our friends know that we'll be missing for who knows how long so they won't-"

"That's already been taken care of, Mr. Malfoy. The longer the thief possesses those objects, the more danger his world, as well as our own, will be in." Merlin, he already knew I would accept. How could he have possibly known that for sure? I don't know whether to be impressed or creeped out beyond belief.

"Oh," I nod stupidly. "Well all right then. Let's get going shall we?"

Dumbledore reaches into the pockets of his robes, pulling out the two portkeys and hands them over to us.

Hermione's was a simple and small tree twig. Mine was in the form of a small tornado shaped keychain.

"Remember," Hermione starts. "Meet me in the Foreboding Forest. I won't leave there without you."

I nod my understanding. "On the count of three?"

"One," she begins.

"Two," I breathe.

"Three! Portus!" We shout together.