Hi hello everyone, welcome to my very first slash fanfic/fic I have posted on this site.

I really do want you all to enjoy this, so feedback will be highly appreciated.

This story will mainly be told from second person point of view, but the first chapter is from Logan's.

So, without further ado, here is "Between The Raindrops"

Yeah, this song kind of inspired this story, just with the lyrics and such.

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or the characters, and this has nothing to do with the band, only the characters. Thanks for understanding.

Logan Mitchell had a secret, a dirty little secret that he kept from everyone he knew. Well, the only person that would even listen to him was his mother, but he wouldn't dare tell her. He couldn't watch her heart-break from knowing her son was being tortured on a daily basis-not even by the students-by a teacher.

Logan was much too shy to have any friends, and when Mr. Spurr started, paying attention to him, he locked any potential friends out, and he also started shutting his mother out.

It had been two years since it started, the genius now a Junior in high school, and he wishes nothing more than to move, to leave, to just end it all.

It was emotional torture what Logan was being put through, and he honestly had no idea how he has dealt with it for two whole school years. The summers off had been so peaceful for him, though. He was able to become more like himself again, but of course that was all ripped away when he went back.

Logan was counting down the days until he could just leave.

Logan's point of view

It was freezing in Minnesota, seeing how it was the middle of winter. I sat in my math class, silently praying that Mr. Spurr would simply leave me alone today, I was already a mess from my dad getting sick earlier in the week, and no doubt my teacher would make it worse.

As Mr. Spurr passed by my desk, he slipped a note down, and I gulped, sliding down into my chair just a bit farther. I already knew what it said, I didn't have to read it to know, this little note fell on my desk more than often. I sighed, trying to hold back the tears that were already forming; today was going to be one of the days where I cried afterward.

To my luck, my class ticked on agonizingly slow, and I had time to get myself prepared for the next 10 minutes after the period was over. I worked through the class, focusing intently on the math problems and shaking off the stare I knew I was getting from Mr. Spurr.

Everything in the class we were working on was easy for me, but I didn't rush through it so I didn't have to face him.

In all honesty, I don't know why I didn't just switch math classes, because that was a total possibility, but I'm incapable of anything that had to do with being social, so I refused to go to my teachers.

The only people I could talk to about my problem were my parents, and I wasn't going to do that, not with dad in the hospital and everything else going on right now. They don't need to be burdened with something I could handle by myself.

"Hey, Logan?" I was pulled out of my thoughts by a whisper too close to my ear, where I could feel Mr. Spurr's breath on my ear. I looked up and gulped audibly, this never got any easier. "You seem a little…distracted, let me help you out."

I shut my eyes, hoping it would all just end.

As I ran out of Mr. Spurr's class, tears streaming down my face, I thought about my last thought before it happened.

How I hoped everything would end.

As I realized what that could mean, I realized just how much I meant it. I hated everything going on right now, I had no friends, my dad was so sick he couldn't move, my math teacher was downright torturing me.

I choked out a large sob and let my head fall without slowing my pace, which caused me to run into something. I fell to the ground, and I just didn't have the energy to get up. I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and continued to sob relentlessly.

That's when I heard his voice.

"Are you okay?" It was soft and concerned, and I looked up to meet the face of James Diamond; star hockey player, gorgeous and knows it.

"I-I guess," I choked out, attempting to swallow the lump in my throat. I reached a hand up to wipe at the salty wetness on my face, and saw James smirk and kneel next to me.

"You don't seem okay, so what's got you crying, gorgeous?" He flashed his bright, beautiful, perfect smile that took my breath away along with the fact that he called me gorgeous. Everyone knew James was bisexual, and like a lot of other people at our school, I had a crush on him.

"Just some personal stuff," I muttered weakly, giving him a soft and non-convincing smile as I began collecting my books off the ground. To my surprise, James helped me, and when we stood up, he gave me another smile.

"Well, gorgeous, do you have lunch next? Cause I have it next, and I want to keep talking to you." He winked, and I felt the blush creep up my neck, so I looked to the ground.

Why would James want to talk to me?

"Uh, my name is Logan, and yeah, I have lunch next." With my response, he turned around, and we walked, side by side, down to the cafeteria. Usually I didn't go to the cafeteria for lunch; I would go to a classroom and work on things while eating. It was more peaceful, and it was easier. Social interaction scares me.

When we got down to lunch, I expected James and I to part ways, so in the middle of saying goodbye he shook his head and chuckled, then lead me over to his table.

I gulped.

"Hey guys, I brought a guest. Guys, this is Logan Mitchell, Logan, these are my friends, their on the hockey team." They all greeted me with a wave, and I did the same. "Come on; sit down next to me gorgeous." I blushed furiously, but did as he asked anyway.

"So Logan, why haven't we seen you around before?" a boy I knew as Jett Stetson asked from across the table, and I looked down. I understood no one knew I existed, but it still kind of hurt.

"I've been in class with all of you guys since elementary school," I mumbled, playing with the hem of my shirt.

"Awe, that's a shame. But I'm glad we're talking to you now, Logan," Kendall said to me with a warm smile. Kendall Knight had always been super nice to everyone, unless you crossed him.

I thought that over, I noticed a lot about people, while no one noticed me.

"James put your mirror away!" was the next thing I heard, and I looked over to find the pretty boy staring at himself in a little pocket mirror. I couldn't stop myself from chuckling at the sight.

"You'd look too if you were as pretty as me!" the brunette shouted back, and everyone at the table rolled their eyes.

Lunch was the highlight of my day. Being around people, especially James brightened my day just a bit. It helped me feel like I was worth a little bit of something, not like I was some toy.

I got through the rest of my classes with ease, and occasionally I would pass by Kendall, Carlos, James or Jett in the hall. They all said hi to me. That made me feel really good, and I had a smile by the end of the day.

"Hey, mom!" I called out happily as I walked through the front door of our quant house, shivering only slightly. As I took off my jacket, I got no response from my mother. I began walking through the house, searching for her. "Mom!" I called again, still no response.

I groaned and walked up the stairs to my parent's bedroom, pushed the door open, and found my mother sitting on the bed crying. The sight completely shattered my heart.

"Oh, Logan, honey, I didn't realize how late it was, I was just-" I sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, shushing her so she couldn't avoid the obvious.

"What's wrong, ma?" I asked, nervous for her response.

"Sweetheart, I don't know how else to say it, so I just need to." She took a deep breath, pausing before continuing. "Logan, you're father passed away."