AU; Cannon Pairings
Twilight Fanfiction
"Reborn a Lie"
Chapter 1 `BPOV
My life was as empty as black hole, and everything good was sucked in and destroyed. I tried to push aside my pain; to appear like I was moving on, but apparently the façade was nothing more than a wasted effort.
Charlie knew I was not right, that since he left, I am but an empty shell. My friend, well, who was I kidding, I had no friends. After they all left, I felt most comfortable alone. What could I contribute to my old friends, when my mind was always elsewhere? The only person in my life whom I ever felt, if only a fraction of a bit better, is when I was with Jacob. Jacob Black, a dear family friend, was the only bit of warmth to my cold life. He was the only one to crack the shell that smothered me.
"Bella?" His voice called out; I looked up, trying out a smile.
"Yeah, Jake?" My voice was wispy. He frowned, sensing my sour mood.
"You seem… distant today." He murmured, sitting close next to me. The heat that radiated off his boy melted me.
"I know… I'm sorry." I muttered. He draped his arm around me, "Don't worry about it." He said, "but how can I help?" He grinned, wagging a brow at me. A smile cracked on my stiff lips. "Actually, I think I'm going to head home early." I said, averting his gaze. He appeared disappointed, but he stood up and extended his hand to me.
I stood smoothly; Jacob was really putting on some muscle, he practically pulled me to my feet with the near twitch of his hand. "Ok, Bells."
Jake walked me to my truck, but I was preoccupied by the sky. It appeared the clouds were parting; the sun was desperate to break through.
"Hey, Bella… you sure you're Ok to drive?" Jacob asked, waving his hand in front of my face. I looked away from the thinning clouds. I forced a smile and I swatted his hand away playfully. "Yes Jacob. I think I'm ok enough to get myself home." I rolled my eyes.
Jacob leaned forward and engulfed me in a tight hug. "Ok, see you tomorrow?" He wondered, hopeful.
I nodded and stepped away from him, sliding into the driver seat of my big truck. "Of course… I got to help you finish those bikes, you know." I said, and he appeared to hang on my words.
I hated that though, it was clear that he felt something deep for me. He wanted more than I was possibly able to give, but I was selfish and I relied on his friendship more than I figured possible.
I was almost home now, but the sun had cut through the clouds and my dashboard was illuminated with the yellow glow. I sighed, and looked at the way the light played on the fabrics of the car, how it touched my fingers, the steering wheel.
I came to a stop sign and gently pressed down on the breaks. Next to me, there was a woman walking along the street, tugging her little boy behind her. She saw me staring and lifted her hand in a wave. On her finger, an engagement ring caught the light and the rainbows danced across the car, across my hands.
Everything reminded me of him.
I stomped my foot down, and moved as fast as this ancient truck allowed. I knew where I was going, or at least where I wanted to end up.
The road came to an end, and I hopped out, slamming the door behind me.
I didn't know how I would find the meadow, I'd only been there once, of course, and there was no trail to follow, but I was determined. This once place, so full of magic, would prove to me that what I had experienced was real. I needed this to live.
The hike was practically unbearable. I fell more times than I can count, if anyone had seen me they would have felt bad for my pathetic journey. I don't know just how long I had been rummaging though the branches, roots, leaves and bushes, but the sun was growing dim, not that I had a good view under all the trees. I sat after a while picked a big rock and relaxed. I was lost. There was no way I could find the meadow. I couldn't find the meadow and there was no way I'd come across my truck again.
I hung my head, my hair falling around my face. My breathing came up short and stressed, and I wanted to scream but no sound could escape my lips.
A fury ripped though me, I hated this; I hated it with my entire being. I jumped up and kicked at loose stones. I wanted to hit things, scream out, cry—but all I did was moved sullenly ahead.
I tripped on a root, but I didn't even respond with too much care, I'd already fallen enough times that my palms were scraped and bloody. I looked at the dirt beneath my fingers and I dug my nails in. I tilted my head up, and gasped.
Before me, bathed in a dimming sunlight, was the meadow.
It was beautiful. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.
It looked the same, but the magic was gone. I should have known, should have realized. He was the magic that brought this place to life. Now it was just a clearing with some grass and flowers.
I had moved to the center, but there was no way to take away the pain, now I just wanted to get the hell away from that place. I fell to my knees and wrapped my hands around my waist; I had to hold myself from falling apart.