Five fifteen am, Karkat Vantas is awakening by his alarm clock. He pounds the OFF button to turn it off. Troll goes back to sleep.
Six thirty am, Karkat wakes up groggily and climbs out of bed. He sniffs himself and decides he doesn't stink enough to shower. He decides to take a piss in the toilet, and splashes water on his face. Karkat considers this enough as a freshened up.
Six forty am, Officer Vantas starts to leave but is stopped by his landlord who demands rent. He uses Evasiveness and Charisma to get past by asking why his wife brought a strange man into their apartment yesterday. It worked with extreme effectiveness.
Six forty-five am, Karkat heads toward coffee shop for his daily dose of caffeine where he wastes even more time behind some fat ass of a woman who can't decide what the difference is between a coffee and a latte.
Six fifty-five am, Officer looses patience and claims police force emergency to move forward.
Six fifty-seven am, Karkat gets the fuck out of there.
Seven o' four am, Karkat greets his moirial outside the diner.
Seven ten am, Karkat realizes that he's running late. He proceeds with running.
Seven twelve am, Officer Down! Officer Down!
Seven fourteen am, Karkat has recovered. He's caught his breath and decides to walk the entire way.
Seven fifteen am, Karkat has a smoking break while walking.
Seven twenty am, Receptionist nags Officer Vantas about smoking. He insults her story readings, and she snatches the cigarette out of his mouth. Karkat leaves grumbling.
Seven twenty-two am, Officer Vantas finds his fellow co-worker, Officer Sollux Captor asleep in the office.
Seven twenty-three am, Officer Vantas wakes Officer Captor with a loud thump of his own supplies falling on the desk. Officer Captor wakes up.
Seven twenty-four am, Officer Jade Harley walks in to find two somewhat respectable officers bitching like they're two sweeps old. Officer Harley breaks up the fighting. Everyone get back to work.
Seven forty-five am, Vriska Serket arrives late, again. She laughs saying something held her up. No one asks her what; they've learned their lesson the hard way. Vriska works on her nails; while everyone files some paperwork.
Eight twenty-six am, Karkat takes his first smoking break. Vriska works on deleting useless files instructed by Jade.
Eight forty-seven am, Karkat takes bathroom break; smokes there.
Eight fifty-nine am, Karkat comes back to find some low-class officers messing around instead of filling out paper work. Enter Rage Mode.
Nine thirty-nine am, Karkat takes smoking break accompanied by Jade.
Ten forty-seven am, Karkat finishes all of his work early. He surfs the net to waste time.
Ten fifty-one am, Karkat looses an online game to some kid in the Capital. Resists urge to throw computer.
Ten fifty-two am, Officer Harley stops Officer Vantas from banging his head on the keyboard anymore.
Eleven o' seven am, Officer Vantas sneaks a smoking break outside.
Eleven twenty-five am, Officer Vantas orders Vriska to retrieve lunch. She complies.
Eleven fifty-three am, Most officers leave for lunch, but Officers Captor, Harley, and Vantas wait for Vriska to arrive with their lunch.
"This is so fucking stupid!" Karkat yells aggravated.
Jade doodles on scrap paper, "Relax fuckass, Vriska will come with the food soon."
"I gave her one fucking job Harley! One!" Karkat slumps his head, "She's probably eating it all!"
Sollux snickers "Doubt it. Isn't she on one of those stupid diets?"
Karkat raises a hand to his ear, "Sorry what did you say? It's hard to hear with your fucking lisp!" Sollux squints his eyes angrily at his fellow troll officer.
"Karkat, what did I tell you about respecting others?" Jade asks abandoning her doodle.
"Fuck that Harley, respect means nothing when I'm hungry."
"Mr. Vantas, you really need to work on your patience," Ms. Kanaya Maryam lectures. She for once decided to join them for lunch and is sitting in Vriska's chair. She's regretting lunch already.
Someone's cell phone chimes. Officer Captor checks his phone and finds out that he has a text. "Oh fuck. FF is asking me to lunch. Guys, how should I tell her that I already ordered, and paid for, my lunch without sounding like a total douche?"
"Is it even possible for you not to sound like a douche?" Karkat mutters.
"You can always invite her here, I don't mind," Jade suggests flicking Karkat's head.
"You might not Harley, but some of us don't want to see two trolls making fish face to each other," Karkat grumbles messaging his forehead.
"Shut the fuck up asshole," Sollux grumbles still looking at his phone. "It doesn't matter what you think, but the Chief would never let FF here. You know how much he hates mixing work and personal life."
"No fucking duh," Officer Vantas says sticking out his tongue. "I swear that guy sweats an ocean if we talked about what we had for dinner last night. If he could, then he would have everyone have a brick box surrounding their heads."
Jade leans in closer to Karkat, "Why do you think that?"
The troll huffs, "Harley, that guy hates getting a little personal with his co-workers. Probably some blue blood belief bullshit."
"Good point," agrees Officer Captor, "I'm just going to message FF about dinner later." He begins to press buttons on his cell phone.
It was at that moment when Vriska arrived with their lunch. She holds the paper bags over her head and calls out to them, "Here's your slop little piggies! Your hero has arrived to save the day!" She struts toward their desks.
Jade sighs adjusting her glasses, "Vriska please show some manners in this department. You are representing a respectable group of-"
"Where the fuck have you been!" Karkat interrupts running up to Vriska.
The spider troll smirks, "It was busy at the diner; it's surprising that that happens around lunch time Karkat. Plus I had an entertaining conversation with Gamzee. You never told me what a laugh he is!"
Officer Vantas rolls his eyes, "Please tell me that the diner isn't as much of a disaster as it was before."
"It looked relatively clean to me."
"I guess I'll have to accept that for now. He needs to accept my advice about minimal health code regulations." Karkat grabs the food from Vriska's hands, "Alright sandwiches for everyone. Fucking hurray," he says sarcastically as he lightly tosses the sandwiches to Sollux and Jade.
Jade carefully opens her sandwich as her fellow officers destroy their own, "Speaking of the Chief, where is he anyway?"
The spider troll pulls out her soda and fries as she sits on her own desk, leading to the blushing of Kanaya, and pops fry by fry into her mouth, "That's right, I haven't seen the old Sweat-Bomb all day."
"Indeed Ms. Serket, the day has indeed been dull," acknowledges Kanaya.
"Did I forget to tell you guys?" asks Officer Captor, "The Chief is taking leave for a week on 'important business.' He left me in temporary charge since I'm the only one that knows how to do the paper work around here." He bites into his sandwich, "It's a little weird because he issued the request last minute, but since when is the Chief considered normal?"
"Well this is a fucking waste of a day," Karkat complains leaning back in his chair. "There's no cases going on today, and I'm sick and tired of paper work. And we already have enough officers assigned traffic patrol. Not to mention I've already have surfed the internet long enough to dissolve my eyeballs."
Jade snickers into her sandwich, "Are you sure that you're only complaining because that little girl from the Capitol beat you again?" Karkat growls at her.
Vriska speaks up while searching for leftover fries in the bag, "What are you talking about? There was a kidnapping last night that was widely talked about at the diner."
Karkat slightly chokes on his food, "Wait what?"
"Kanaya," Sollux turns to the receptionist, "Did we get a notification of a kidnapping?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Captor, but I have not received anything of that sort."
Karkat drops his head on his desk and makes a muffled scream. Jade starts to pat his head, but backs away, "Vriska, who was kidnapped?"
"See Jade that's what makes this kidnapping so interesting," Vriska smirks, "It's a maroon blood female troll called Aradia Megido."
"Wait, why does that name seem so familiar?"
"I'm not surprised Jade," Sollux says turning to type the new information in the department's data. "She's a famous reporter for the news station, The Reporting Times. Practically everyone knows her. She's done reports over the cases you and Karkat solved."
"Oh her! That's right, I remember Aradia. She's a nice troll."
"That's right Harley," muffles Karkat keeping his head down. "She interviewed you because you stopped a gas station robbery. And on all the other fucking cases 'you' did. Fucking congratulations to that."
"Don't take it personally Ms. Harley," Kanaya comforts while eating her salad. "Mr. Vantas is just upset because he's not allowed an interview because he on the . . down low."
"That and he's a bitch," Sollux quips. "So that's our troll, Vriska?"
"Yup," Vriska concurs chewing over a fry, "The news station is the one to report her when she didn't come to work or answer her calls. She hasn't been seen since she left work."
Karkat lifts his head from his desk, "Popular and no idea where the kidnapping happened. Well this won't help narrowing down the fucking suspects." The troll turns to Vriska and Jade, "Harley, Spider-Breath, get ready to head to the news station."