A/N: This was actually written more than fifteen years ago. I´ve read the rumor that at the end of the episode 'Waking Moments' actually had been a kiss scene which was cut. So I asked myself how it could have been...
Legal: This story is a fanwork. The show and the characters belong to Paramount.
Since Chakotay couldn´t sleep he entered the casino in hope to find something to eat. He stopped as he saw the captain standing at the window. "So, I´m not the only one who can´t sleep after this."
She turned around to see him and smiled. "It seems so. Tom and Harry were also here until an hour ago." Chakotay sighed. "I wish I could sleep one night without interruption." Janeway´s smile grew. "Let´s look at the stars together. Hopefully it will make us tired sometime." He returned the smile. "Maybe."
Silently they sat opposite to each other at the window and looked at the stars. "It´s crazy", Janeway said after a while, "now we could sleep peacefully without worry to get caught by these aliens but we can´t sleep."
He smiled. "I think you can´t sleep peacefully since we´re in the delta quadrant." Janeway gave him a weak grin. "You are right. I think you know me very well...too well sometimes." "Does it worry?", he asked. She shook her head and looked away. "Then what´s the matter?", he wanted to know.
Suddenly Janeway raised her head to meet his eyes. "I almost lost you."
He smiled. "I had to do this as my duty, for my friends and... for you."
Janeway looked down. "It´s really selfish. I´ve thought of the grief that I would feel when I would loose you but I risk my life almost every day and don´t think about what you would feel if something should happen to me."
He took her hand. "Kathryn, you are not selfish, you do everything for your crew and besides everyone of us knew the risk of loosing someone when he decided for this way of life."
He raised his hand to her face. "But nevertheless, it hurts when you loose someone you love..."
She put her hand on his and met his eyes as his face got closer and their lips met only for a moment.
Then the moment had gone and Chakotay rose to leave the room. He knew that he had done something that could make things difficult. He looked at her eyes and asked himself why she hadn´t resisted.
After he had left the room she sat there looking after him and asked herself why she couldn´t finally let him in her life. She sighed. She knew it was a beginning and everything what could follow was her turn.