I awoke with a start, my hand automatically going to Anna's side of the bed. But it's cold.
And then the realization hits me like a wrecking ball.
She's gone.
Everything that happened came crashing down on me. It had been an accident, and it was all the other driver's fault. He was supposed to stop, but I- I wasn't fast enough.
Tears start to slide down my cheeks. She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.
This is wrong, it should be me who's lying in a morgue now. It should me, not her. I need her, she was the only part of me that was good.
My heart feels like it is going to implode, everything hurts without her.
More and more tears come as I close my eyes and try and pretend that she's alseep now, that she's lying next to me, that she's here.
Knock. Knock.
"Mr. Grey?" Mrs. Jones calls. "I'm coming in." She says gently as the door opens slowly.
When she sees me tear stained face she gives me a look of pity.
"The doctor said that you should remain in bed at least for today, and take this. It'll ease the pain," She says as she hands me a glass of water and a pinkish pill.
"I am going to see her." I tell her.
"That is not advisable, you need time to heal." She says softly.
"I need to be with her." I say fiercely, trying to hold back anymore tears.
"Be careful." She finally says as she leaves.
I get up and slip on a pair of jeans and a black shirt and hastily leave the room. I skip breakfast and head straight to the car with Taylor following right behind me. I slip into the back.
I don't have to tell him where to go, and I don't have to tell what intersection to avoid at all costs. I know it doesn't take long to get there, but it feels like an eternity.
When we arrive at the funeral home Ana was transferred to from the hospital, I rush in and am greeted by the director.
"Hello sir, what can I do for you." The man says softly.
"I need see my wife." I say, my voice rough.
"Sir..." He begins, but Taylor cuts him off.
"We are here for Anastasia Grey, she was transferred here yesterday night. This is her husband." He says sternly.
"If you don't mind, please step into that room," He says as he gestures to a simply decorated room with rows of chairs and a space at the front. "I'll go get her for you."
I nod and slowly walk into the room followed by Taylor.
"Do you want a moment alone with her?" Taylor asks.
I nod and while he leaves the room my eyes overflow with tears.
I hear the funeral director walking towards the room, he is accompanied by the sound of wheels. When he turns the corner I see her. He wheels her to the front of the room and I am immediately kneeling by her side.
"I'll give you two a moment alone." He says as he leaves.
"Ana, oh Ana." I say as I take her hand in mine, it is so cold. I look at her, she is so peaceful. She is no longer hear. I can't take the thought, she has to be here I need her. "I need you baby, please. I love you, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't mean for this to happen, I had no idea. Please Anastasia, please forgive me."
"Mr. Grey I think I would be best if we left now." Taylor said gently as he walked over to us.
"I can't leave her." I insist.
"She's gone." He says. Everything within me rejects that idea, she can't be gone.
"No, I need to apolgize, she has to know." I say fiercly clutching her hand harder.
"Mr. Grey, she is no longer here that is simply her body. She wouldn't want to see you like this. Come now." Taylor says as he genlty brings me to a standing position and drags me away from her. At first I don't let go and the cart she's on moves with us but taylor pries my hand off of hers and practically drags me away. He helps me into the car and I colapse.
I have nothing, my Ana is gone. Tears fall down my cheeks in a never ending street as we head back to Escala.
Disclaimer- I do not own 50 Shades of Grey