Hehee! Well, This is an interesting twist for me! I usually never make parodies...unless I'm half asleep...Which in this case I'm not! Completely sleep-sober! XD Oh well, you clicked for some crack story, so a crack story of FFVII on Family Feud begins! ^^; Oh, by the way, this involves Character bashings and suggestive themes and language, I put it in for added humor! XD Also I add in Zidane for kicks...and bash him as well. ^-^ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Final Fantasy VII On Family Feud
"You did WHAT now?" Angeal cried, jumping up from his seat on the couch.
"I...entered us in Family Feud?" Zack chuckled nervously.
Cloud began to choke on his fudgecicle, in which Tifa had to perform the heimlick manuver.
"What's with all the shouting?" Sephiroth grumbled, appearing from his bedroom, long hair a mess.
"Angeal's little student entered us in that Family Fued show." Genesis said, not looking up from his monthy magazine supscription.
"HE WHAT?" Sephiroth yelled.
Tifa succeded in getting the stuck fudgepop out of Cloud's throat.
"Is this your genious idea on how to pay those overdue rent bills you've been putting of until 'the right time'?" Cloud questioned coughing up small remains of the chocolate popcicle. Zack nervously laughed.
"What an irrisponcible puppy." Genesis smirked, turning a page in his flimsy magazine.
"Looks like I'm going to have to bump the price of my flowers up to five gil." Aerith sighed from the kitchen.
"Hey, you guys shouldn't get so uptight. I mean, multitude of families apply. We might not get picked!" Tifa pointed out.
"YEEAAHHH RIIIGHT!" Zack mocked. "We are from the most kickass video-game ever made, and you're saying we WON'T get picked?"
"Oh no!" Cloud cried, jumping up. "I can't take anymore fangirl attacks!" He added on, almost screaming.
"You have a point." Tifa said.
"Those fanboys scare me!" Aerith cried, dashing out of the kitchen to seek shelter in her lovers embrace.
"Hey guys! Chill! This'll be good for our publicity! And plus if we don't go or win a gangster mob is going to kill us all..." Zack added that last bit in there sneakily, but not sneaky enough.
"WHAT!" The household shouted, being able to hear that add on.
"DID YOU PARTICIPATE IN POKER WITH OUR RENT MONEY AGAIN?" Sephiroth shouted, almost ready to burst a blood vessle in his brain, a multitude of blood vessles it seemed.
Zack sheepishly grinned.
"Who'd you play poker with?" Tifa asked.
"Shinra Power Company...with the president and the turks..." Zack grumbled shyly, trying to avoid being seveirly pummeled. Yeah right.
Everyone at least got to kick him where it hurts.
"That...Is for being a complete dumbass." Sephiroth grumbled.
"Oh, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to have kids." He groaned, writhering on the floor in pain.
"Sorry Zack. But I don't think you should reproduce...EVER." Genesis said, turning another page in his magazine.
"Oh well. I don't think We'll get picked anyway." Aerith said.
"Yeah. I don't see it happening." Angeal said.
~~~
Boy was she wrong...
~~~
Announcer: Welcome to Family Feud! With your host...
Sephiroth: Yeah. You saw this coming dipshit?
[Fangirls shreik rabidly]
[Cloud shudders and hides behind Zack.]
Zack: Aww, don't worry Cloud. I'll protect you from the big, bad, fangirls.
Cloud: Shut up. You don't know what they do when they become rabid over a short, cute, and anti-social blonde Final Fantasy character.
Zidane: I'm short and cute! And also blonde!
Zack: Zidane, Shut up, you're a fag, and you're not in FFVII.
[Zidane moaps off stage and out of story]
Host: Alright, here we have the...Alright what the hell does this say? What three year old wrote this name?
Cloud: Zack...I take it that's YOUR handwriting.
Zack: Yeah...
Host: Alright I'll guess...on this side we have the team...Fin-all Fan-ties plus sign and a seven. I'm guessing this says Final Fantasy VII?
[Fangirls Shriek and scream]
Host: And over here, we have team...Shinra Is The AwesomeSause?
[The Shinra family gloats and gets pride filled heads. And also, the Shinra family consists of: Rufus, Reno, Elana, Cissnei, Rude, Hojo, Reeve, and...a glass of water.]
Tifa: A glass of water? Really?
Aerith: Really...[facepalm]
Host: Alright. Now, who do you have in your family...Sephieroth?
Sephiroth: IT'S SEPHIROTH! OH MY SHIVA!...[clears throat]...Anywho, I am the...awesome dad. Next to me is Genesis...who is the stressfilled Wife.
[Genesis interupts]: WHAT?
[Sephiroth continues]: Next to Genesis, Is...my brother Angeal.
[Angeal sighs releived he wasn't something terrible]
[Sephiroth once again continues]: Next to Angeal is Zack...My brother's son. Whom is obsessed with himself. [He chuckles after this last sentence.]
[Zack flips Sephiroth off]
Sephiroth: DO NOT BACKTALK ME OR YOU'LL GET ANOTHER BAMBOO WHIPPING!...
[clears throat as Zack grows horrified]
[He continues]: And next to Zack is my Transvestite son Cloud who has dressed like a girl before...on multiple occations...
[Cloud throws himself at Sephiroth to attack him]
Cloud: How DARE you call me a transvestite, you momma's boy!
Sephiroth: You better take that back...
[Angeal clears his throat and finishes for Sephiroth while Cloud pummels him]: Next to The NOT transvestite Cloud, is Tifa, and Aerith, my adopted daughters.
[Cloud thanks Angeal for the NOT transvestite part]
Host: Anyhow...I think we should skip introductions so we don't go over our alotted time slot...So, let's play Family Feud!
[Cheesy intro music starts as Sephiroth and Rufus approach the...answer slapper thingy.]
Host: Alright, the first one to buzz in...
[Sephiroth impatiently buzzes in]
Host:...Buzz in AFTER I read the category.
[Rufus laughs stupidly]
Host: Alright...for this category...Name somthing you would find in a child's room.
[Sephiroth buzzes in slightly quicker than Rufus]
Sephiroth: dirty porn magazines. [Serious face]
[Everyone on team FFVII facepalms or groans angrily.]
Host: Well...aheam...Is...Dirty porn magazines up there?
[Dirty porn magazines is number one answer]
Cloud: What kind of child are we talking about here?
Tifa: Exactly, why would a child have dirty porn magazines?
Sephiroth: HOW THE HELL WOULDN'T YOU?
[fangirls even grow quiet.]
Host: MOVING ON! Anyway, now, Genesis, what would you find in a child's room?
Genesis:...A used condom?
Angeal: GENESIS! WHAT THE HOLY HELL?
[Used condom ranks answer number 2]
Host: Apparently you people are disgusting...So let's just switch the category...and how the hell did those answers even get up there?
Zack: I wasn't thinking somthing sick and disturbing like that! I was going to say...
Host: We don't want to know...your family is sick.
[Zack pouts]
Aerith: I'm not sick! I live in the slums of the city and I sell flowers to people!
Host: Okay, your sick GOODY GOODY people.
[Aerith grumbles with Zack]
Glass of water: *Bubble bubble*
Reno: You're right Glass of Water! That family is fucked up in the head!
Cloud: This is getting out of hand...
[Cloud walks over to Glass of Water and tips it over]
Glass of water: *Silent tink onto the ground as it's contents spill onto the floor*
Reno: GLASS OF WATER! NO!
Tifa: Seriously! Can we just finish this already?
Zack: I am getting quite...
Sephiroth: Zack. Your the genious that got us here. So suck up and deal with your stupid choice.
Angeal: Zack, you're in trouble when we get home.
Zack; I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
Angeal: Yes you did. You got us all humiliated. That deserves no ice cream or desserts.
Zack: DAMNIT!
Cloud: ALRIGHT! Next question.
Host: *wakes up* Ah yes, FFVII your in the lead with 2 points, and Shinra AwesomeSauce, your bringing up the rear with a negitive 24.
Hojo: Was it my fault?
Everyone on team FFVII: EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!
Hojo: Take a chill pill. Escpecially you Cloud. Little transvestite, don't get your panties in a wad.
Cloud: You're so dead you little bastard. *Takes Angeal's Buster Sword and charges over to Hojo*
Angeal: Oh Shiva...He's at it again.
Zack: Woah...Look at him slice! I've never seen him so worked up!
[Cloud finishes Hojo off]
[Shinra AwesomeSauce grows scared]
Cloud: Don't test me. *threatening glare as he walks back to his side*
Host: This is just fucked up...I quit...*throws microphone down and leave*
[The fangirls see this as their chance and leap from the stands]
Cloud: HOLY SHIT! *Runs offstage.*
Zack: Hey, that's a good idea Cloud...DON'T LEAVE ME! *He chases after Cloud*
[Tifa and Aerith run away next.]
Fangirls: YOU WONT GET AWAY REMAINING FF CHARATCERS!
Angeal: I'm from Crisis Core...I'm not from the original.
Genesis: ME TOO!
Fangirls: Meh, you two can go.
[They both walk out laughing at the poor Sephiroth.]
Fangirls: THERE'S NO ESCAPE!
Sephiroth: Eheh...waitaminute here...
[Sephiroth spots Zidane moaping around]
Sephiroth: Here! Take the little fag! *runs away*
Zidane: Oh SHIIIII-
[Attacked by rabid fangirls]
~~6 DAYS LATER~~
"I'm so glad all that had all settled down." Sephiroth said, sipping on some coffee.
Cloud was once again eating a fudgecicle, quite enjoying it instead of choking on it. Tifa was helping Aerith cook in the kitchen. Genesis as reading a new issue of his magazine subscription. Sephiroth was lounging in a chair flipping through the channels, even though an angry Angeal told him to stop flipping channels and watch a damn show already. The front door swung open and closed quickly and loudly.
"Zack? Now what?" Cloud asked as little droplets of chocolate landed on his shirt. He groaned and wiped it off.
He laughed sheepishly.
"Yes Zack. Now what?" Angeal suspiciously questioned.
"Well...I got into some more gambling trouble."
"Let me guess...with out rent money again to a gang?" Genesis asked, looking up from his magazine with a devious smirk.
"No...I only lost a couple of twenties and didn't pay to get it, so I was charged fifty extra." Zack said.
"Oh...never mind!" Genesis quickly said returning to his magazine. Everyone stopped and stared at Genesis.
"Don't tell me. That's what YOU did with our rent money?" Sephiroth asked, with a clear buldging vein in his forehead.
"...Yeah." He admitted.
"How much?"
"17346 Gil."
"Paying it off with a game show?" Angeal asked with the almost exact same buldging vein as Sephiroth.
"Jeopardy." He said.
Cloud began to choke on his fudgecicle once again as did Tifa run in and perform the heimlick manuver...again.
"Oh well. Least it didn't happen to me again!" Zack grinned happily.
Cloud coughed up the choked fudgecicle and decided it ould be a good idea to strangle Genesis for a bit. No one objected.
Should I continue this? :D *MWhahahahaha!*